Going for it!

All things are possible!

Three years ago, on a website, I met a woman. We had a flirtation - fairly hot and heavy, until she mentioned an on again-off again boyfriend. That put a damper on our budding feelings. We kept in touch, even meeting briefly once and have kept in touch sporadically ever since. Recently, we started communicating a bit more. Ok, a lot more. Turns out that the embers that were damped down have burst into flame once again. So, we are going to make a go of it and see what the future holds.

That means that I will not be writing letters to people on the dating sites for the foreseeable future. I will not be actively seeking someone else to date. My energies are focused on this potential relationship and my attentions focused on this one person.

She has agreed that I can write about the relationship here on this blog (and elsewhere?). Yay! What I will write, I don't know. I do know that relationships of any kind are by their nature a bit of a roller coaster ride. And I know that it takes a lot to move any relationship from a "relationship" to a "Relationship." Wish us luck!

April 15

Going to write some notes today. I have had these tabs open for a week or so and just need to get to it. Sure, I don't actually expect responses anymore. But at least I feel like I am doing something.

I have been thinking about relationships and Relationships. People are. People are individuals. And, much as we would like to believe that they are, in most ways like us (which, in fact, percentage wise they are), they are in fact just enough dissimilar to be almost totally alien. Just sayin'.

First note - 46 year old on Match within distance but she only wants to go to 50 years old. Sigh. Says she is "very liberal." Anything is possible, I guess. (She wrote back and said she didn't think we weren't a good match - and therefore she is right! Good luck to her.)(The mind is an interesting thing. I didn't think we were an awesome match - but I was open to the possibility. Anything is possible, after all. Normally I don't get a response, so getting a response at all ought to have filled me with joy, right? Sure, until I read the message. Then a little crash. What is that about? I didn't know her, I didn't really care about her, I wasn't all that interested in her - yet still, when even this little, teeny, mostly impersonal rejection came along, I was mildly devastated. What the fuck is that about? Crap. One day I will be impervious. Nah. Won't happen. Too much of a softie...)

Second Note - 42 year old on OK Cupid who lives too far away - she does respond frequently, so who knows...(nothing yet)

April 14

And still no note writing. Partly because I have been otherwise engaged. Partly because I have been just not writing much of anything. Sigh.

April 13

Wow, the month is almost over - I have succeeded in my Match.com challenge for the month - so that's a good thing. But I didn't write a single message. Yet.

April 12

Lots of open tabs and nothing got typed. I did notice that OK Cupid changed again - from having its cute quiver full of three matches, to sending out daily match emails. Sad thing is, not a one of them seems like a match from my standpoint. Or at least none have so far...

April 11

Guess what, still haven't written a note.

April 10

Nothing. Rien even.

April 9

I have 14 open Match.com tabs. Wow, fourteen. They all must have appealed to me in one way or another at some point. So I will just go through the tabs and see what happens.

Note one - the first woman lives somewhere in NY that I have never heard of - wants a next door neighbor - found it - a town of 7,000 people. There isn't anyone within her radius. Oh well - I guess this is G&G - my note was ok - not great.

Well, my second tab - one that I was excited about even though I was out of her age range - has apparently left the building. Oh well. I hesitated. I lost. My guess, though, I wouldn't get a note back. I base this on not getting any notes back from anyone I have written to lately. Sigh.

Note two - a women whose picture I liked before - I don't know if I wrote her a note or not - I might have - I might not - leaning towards having written - oh well - I didn't allude to it in my new note. Not awesome, but ok.

Note three - I am not sure about this one - I think I closed her tab and then re-opened it. A little heavy on religion - but what the heck. I am in a typing mood. - too late - she has left the building also.

Note three - I am out of her age range - so probably grins and giggles. Not a great note at all - but not a "Hi, ur hot" note either.

Closed the next tab - just couldn't send a note -

Note four - I am torn about this one - I am going to write just because I have fingers - she seems like an interesting person, yet...ok note. Didn't flow all that smoothly - as if that mattered...Good notes never have won fair damsels no matter what Cyrano would like us to believe...

Note five - This woman looked at my profile and didn't write. Not much in her profile. Not a bad note if I must say so myself.

April 8 - Happy Birthday to me!

And voila, I move out of a few people's age range now. What a huge difference a day makes. And no, I didn't write any notes on my birthday. But I will make up for that on April 9!

April 7

Still no notes. That is just because, well, Monday was pretty full too - even though the show at the Smith is over.

April 5

Where did I go? Who am I? Why am I not writing? Oh, right, I was quite busy with a show at the Smith. Balancing that and taking care of mom and taking care of myself didn't leave a lot of time for writing. Sigh.

April 6

Not a blooming note. Neither out nor in. Lots of open tabs, though. Not scabs, tabs. Though maybe there is a reason those things rhyme...

April 4

I doubt I will get to any notes today - another long day at The Smith.

So I ended up starting and sending one note - to a 43 year old woman who lives in Rochester - I don't think we are a match for a couple of reasons - but I still wrote her. I wonder about my sanity at times... 

April 3

Sigh. As I said in my "share" notice to my google circle, this is getting ludicrous. No one is writing back. I am beginning to get a complex!

April 2

Wow, April has flown past! Um...

I have a couple of tabs open and will send a couple of notes today. Kinda burned out after the big note day yesterday.

First note - 40 year old POF woman - very short, basically empty profile asking us to ask her anything - and to tell her what a perfect first date would be like. I said - well - here this is what I said -

"Well, there is a perfect date and a perfect first meeting and I believe those to be two very, very different things. A perfect date takes into account who both people are - and since I don't know you, I could only make up some fantasy date that might or might not appeal. For one person, a romantic candlelit dinner in the 7th arrondisement might be perfect. For someone else, a picnic lunch on a cliff overlooking the ocean might be more apt.

As for a first meeting - I think getting together to chat would be a pretty good way to start."

How's that?

Second note - 50 year old Match woman - again with the short profile - but there is something about her that piques my interest...

Third note - 47 year old POF woman who is a musician and a driver. Hmm. Not too far away.

April 1

I don't generally do the April Fool's thing - it takes too much thought and effort to come up with something clever. And I don't usually plan too far in advance. Which is why I also would not be good at the whole revenge thing...

Fact - I have 8 open tabs - 6 are Match.com and 2 are POF. One is a woman I have written before so I won't say more about her than that. So, seven open tabs...

First letter - match.com 38 year old - I live within her circle of passion, er, desire, er distance - but am too old - so I fear this is G&G - still, worth a shot, right?

Second letter - POF 38 year old who lives in NY State - very short profile - succinct even. But because of the distance - and probably age - I doubt I will hear back. Who am I kidding? There is no way in hell. I don't think anyone has written back in months! Ok, that is a slight exaggeration, but not far off the mark...

Third Letter - 44 year old POF woman not too far away - again, a very brief profile - letting her pics do the heavy lifting - dropped her a decent note.

Fourth letter - 49 year old Match.com woman - not a long distance away - I am even within her age limit! Wow! She looked at my profile and didn't write - which is probably a bad sign - but I believe in taking the bull by the born, damning the torpedoes and all that crap. Ok, I don't really, but I thought I would write her on the off chance that she is one.four in a thousand...

Fifth letter - 42 year old who match woman - I don't live in her circle of preference - but I do match her age. Sadly she is looking for a "MAN" which I take to mean a GQ model with lots of money. I am only a man - a moderately handsome guy who gets by. And I don't eat car parts and poop gold. She says she wants Funny - I have said this elsewhere - I call bullshit. Most women say this and then just about anything else trumps that desire. How do you know someone is funny if you don't communicate with them? I can be funny - even when writing - if given the opportunity. Humor, for me, needs to be tailored to the audience. Humor is not generic - generally...

Closed the next tab - getting towards profile burnout for the morning...

Sixth letter - 47 year old woman match woman - within her distance and age range (for another week)(age that is) - though she likes boating and skiing - two activities in which I rarely participate - the last time I went skiing was in high school - and it was cross country - and I don't really like the water - why - you may ask, am I writing. Who the heck knows at this point? Flinging spaghetti at the fridge and seeing if it sticks, I guess...I made a funny, I think - though it might be too obscure for her - she said she wanted someone driven - I said I didn't have a chauffeur. Tee hee?

Seventh letter - a 45 year old match - older than the 50 she is looking for - her profile sounded a little bitter and jaded - but I really liked her handle and was curious what she meant by it. Will I hear back? Hahahahaha. Ha.

And that's all for now - tabs all closed. Time for a nap.

March 31

I have a bunch of open tabs - 9 it looks like - now, I think I am just making a point. That most women either don't really want a relationship or at least don't want a relationship with me. Which, mathematically makes sense, of course. Still, it is frustrating...

First letter was to a woman who lives in Toronto - 40 years old - on ok Cupid - 65% Match and 15% enemy - so not really a great match - she just appealed - but I am sure it was jut G&G for me.

Second letter to an empty profile with a picture - G&G.

Maybe I should make it a contest - see who can guess how many messages I can write before I get a positive response. By positive response, I mean something that is intended to further communication and the process of getting to know another person. Fear not, I wouldn't throw the competition by writing a lot of bad emails. G&Gs for sure, as I just feel the need to write and to be doing something. I think I might be close to 30 now...

And OK Cupid tabs are responsible for eating my computer's memory. Poo on them. Lesson mostly learned - if I see an OKC person, write them and close the tab immediately