Feb 27

Two realizations for this blog.

First realization - mom is getting worse and I feel worse and worse leaving her alone for long periods of time - by long I mean four hours or so. And by alone, I mean not in the same house. I don't spend my days sitting with her...which means that dating will be more of a challenge unless people are, ha, interested in coming to Geneva to meet me. Hahahahahahahaha. Ha. Haha. Ha. (Uncontrollable fit of laughter...)

Second realization - ok, not really a realization - more of a statement - I am going to add something to my website about liking The Princess Bride (which I think is there on most of my profiles (well, at least one of the three active profiles) Firefly (might be on one), and Ender's Game (Or should I make that the Wheel of Time series). Hmm. We shall see.

Feb 26

Starting off with a Match woman who is 41 and not far away, but only wants someone who is 44 - I could pass for 44 - in a dimly lit restaurant, as long as she wasn't looking at me...what does it matter, who I am fooling - the chances of her writing back with a positive "let's do this note" are about 1 in 100. No guts, hmm, what would one do if they had no guts. Digesting food would be difficult...

I think I need to whip off some notes - get some of these tabs closed.

Note the Second - before doing that, I closed four POF tabs for one reason or another - most of them just lived too far away for their comfort and honestly, they weren't all that appealing in the light of day. So, my second note is to a Match woman - 40 years old - I think I have written her before - but what the heck - match doesn't remember so I can't be sure - It was a G&G for me - she is a conservative politically, which means that she wants a conservative guy - into which category I could never, ever fall - except I do try to conserve electricity and water. Does that count?

Note the Third - probably also G&G for me as she wants someone who lives within 20 miles - but at least I am (for a couple more months) in her age range! 50 year old woman who is willing to go up to 52! Wow, living outside the box!! Not a great note - truly not all the motivated to write...

Note the Fourth - Ok, couldn't bring myself to write any more notes today. I just closed all the tabs. Sigh.

Back to Note the Fourth - An OKC person who was way too young - 36 - right on the bottom of my possible age lower limit - Ok, not really, according to half plus seven, 33 is the lower limit - anyway - she lives not too far away and her profile was good. And our percentages - 91% Match 83% Friend 0% Enemy - well, I don't think I have ever seen 0% enemy before!

Note the Fifth - POF - 48 year old woman living around 40 miles away - seems cool so I sent her a decent note. Ok, all of my notes are decent, this one had its cute moments...(well, she responded - mainly in order to raise the percentage of people who responded - how sweet - but it seems it was only for that reason. Moving on...) 

Feb 25

Will I even write one note today? It gets hard/difficult when I write and write and write and write and get no responses. Even the ones I think might actually respond. Because, let's face facts - I don't get a lot of responses and even fewer "Let's do this thing" notes. Oh well. Hope springs eternal. And as long as there is electricity, I will continue to type...

Nope - not one new message! I guess I really did need a break...

Feb 24

Again, lots of tabs open. Unfortunately most of them will be for Grins and Giggles - since I don't, generally, meet their age requirement. Sigh.

Note Uno - Yes, I know the number One in Spanish. Aren't I the polyglot?! Written to a POF woman, 51 who lives in Buffalo - I am guessing this was G&G because she wants someone who can do stuff at the drop of a hat. With me, it would take a bit more planning than that. Not a great first letter, but it got the job done (in that it was written, not that it led to a response or anything...)

Note Dos - Aha! See what I did there? Anyway, another G&G to a 45 year old woman in another state - she had a little in her profile, but not much to go on - so my letter wasn't spectacular...

I am just feeling a little burned out - which is understandable with all the messages I have sent and the few contacts I have made.

Note Tres - Yup, I am on a Spanish number roll - Another G&G to another 45 year old woman also in another state - the same state as the previous one - no, they aren't the same person...this letter had a little more oomph to it - still not awesome, but it will suffice.

Three was all I could manage. The lack of feedback has been underwhelming.

Feb 23

The month is zipping past. Before we know it, Spring will be here. Rutting time.

First note - last night, just before I went to sleep, I got a notice that someone in Baltimore had made me a favorite. That seemed a bit odd to me. When I checked her profile - Match - 37, TDP a "typical" profile - by which I mean there was not a lot of personality there - "I am this this and this - I am looking for this this and this (usually similar thises (I am sure that isn't a word...)" Best friend, blah, blah, blah. Just didn't feel real to me. And she says she wants someone 50 miles from Baltimore. I am not good at math (anymore) but I think Geneva is just a few miles more than 50 from there. Anyway, I wrote a generic - hi, thank you, are you from - note. I will be shocked if her profile doesn't disappear in a day or two. Even more shocked if I actually hear from her.

Second note - I am going fishing today - I have a lot of tabs open on Plenty of Fish. Sadly, most of them will be for G&G. And before someone else points it out - I do know that I write a lot of people who I probably don't appeal to - for whatever reason - age, distance, looks, etc. But if I didn't write them, I wouldn't have anyone to write to. So there. :)~ Anyway, this woman lives in another state, so I doubt I will hear from her - long profile that really showed she had two personalities - in one part she says she has the IQ of a rabbit and then in the next she says she is intelligent. 47 years old.

Third Note - 55 year old who lives not far away POF - she had one of those long lists of things that someone must fit within in order to be able to send her a note - and I passed! Yay!

Fourth Note - 51 but looks 35 in her picture POF - she lives a little far away and had a one line profile. One of the few I have read that says she is funny - usually women say they are looking for someone who can make them laugh. Honestly, I can make just about anyone laugh. In lots of different languages. And even, sometimes, without language. Yes, I speak slapstick...I set her a brief, uninspired message. She had lovely hair...

Fifth Note - definitely grins and giggle - I just liked the picture of her boots and told her so. 43 in another state. POF

Sixth Note - POF - 56 in yet another state - this one I don't get - she put her personal email in her profile text! POF is free, why would she feel the need to put her address out there? Whatever. Profile was very short - what is up with that. It starts with the word, God, though, so I am more than a little wary. - Oh - got the "only users XX" (in this case, nearby) Maybe I will send a message to her email address...yup that's what I did.

Seventh note - 46 year old - another state - she says she doesn't want someone with dependency issues - I am sure taking care of my mom is considered a dependency issue by some. So this is another G&G on POF. (She wrote back on of those ambiguous notes - not asking a question, not saying she would like to get to know me better - and she said she is 51 not 46. Sigh)

Eighth note - 45 on POF - but I get the feeling she might be older. Or conservative - her profile is very short and again, doesn't give a hint at personality - well, maybe a little one - POF has added an ambition quality to their profiles. You can pick from four I think - not ambitious, ambitious, very ambitious, So freaking ambitious you better watch out (ok, I made up the last one). Since I think that ambition (like all things) is best in moderation, someone who says "Very Ambitious" makes me a little concerned. - Oops, only "certain users." Good, actually, I was getting a weird vibe from her.

She did make me think a bit - she said something about if you keep your promises, we will get along just fine. I asked her if saying you will meet at a certain time is a sort of promise. And if so, then being late would be breaking that promise...

Eighth note - 42 on POF - in another state - also a brief profile - her pictures make her look a little sad - I sent her a brief note - not my best effort - but heck, it is my eighth note (ninth, sort of)

Ninth note - 50 on POF - G&G because, well, I got the vibe that she is conservative. I find that many hairstylists are closet conservatives. Maybe not so closeted...

Tenth Note - 41 on POF - G&G because again, I get the conservative vibe and she lives pretty far away while still being in state.

Eleventh Note - 54 - looks 34 - POF - not too far away - says she is giving her current try 100% - does that mean that she writes back to everyone? We shall see.

Twelfth note - 38 Match woman - she hasn't been online in a while, so maybe she has found someone or something - who knows - and she only goes up to 50 - but I am within her travel distance - mostly writing because I liked her earring - yes, definitely a G&G note - There isn't a lot in her profile to riff off of. That has a lot of f's! - Not an awesome note - hard to write a good note to a basically empty profile.

Thirteenth Note - last note for the time being - maybe forever! Ok, that's unlikely. Anyway, I am not sure how this woman came to appear on my radar. But she did - 54 OK Cupid woman - 93% Match 86% Friend 9% Enemy - despite being a vegetarian, I enjoyed her profile very much. Almost on the p-crush meter. 

Fourteenth note - Another random Match woman favorited me. I can't help but think these are not real people. Who knows. I tried chatting with both of them and neither "picked up." So I sent her an email - not expecting much... The other woman who favorited me has already disappeared from the site...

Feb 22

I like that I started on Feb 1 so I know how many days I have been documenting my relationship search and efforts and experiences. Here we are, day 22. There are lots of tabbed people and I have all day off from the Smith. Yay!

I am going to start with the OKC tabs first - then do at least one or two match tabs. And right now there are 7 POF tabs - most of them will be for G&G. It is all about numbers, people!

But before that - I do want to point out that I made a couple of relationship observations in my Life and Such blog. One about "Her Loss" and one about, hmm, something else that my sleepy brain can't come up with without looking. And the last thing I want to do is artificially bump up the number of views a posts get. When I break 50 views, I am so happy, until I realize that 35 of those are me...Ok, I looked. It was about the relationship magnets that authors are supposed to be. Ha.

First Note - G&G - Cause she is in Canada. Sigh. Anyway, OKC woman - 74, 81, 14 (Good things those aren't her measurements! Eeek!!) (Match, Friend, Enemy) Oh, 47 by the way. And if it weren't for me knowing that she will not be interested (reverse magic works occasionally, otherwise I wouldn't use it...) I would rate her on my p-crush scale. But I am trying to do that. Heartache, especially self inflicted (which, actually, most heart ache is in any case), isn't fun. Trying to be unattached...Wrote a great note if I must say so myself.

Wrote a second note to a woman who I wrote to, who visited my profile but didn't choose to write back. She is also in Canada and TDP. Ok, I also sent a note telling her how attractive she was. Whatever.

So that second note, wasn't my second note - though it was - my second note is to an OKC woman who is 53 and lives in NYC - 86% Match 79% Friend 7% Enemy (Ha, copy and paste worked on the percentages - one never knows with web stuff how a copy and paste will work...) - definitely liked her profile - but this is G&G as no real woman from NYC has ever written back with a positive - Let's try this - sort of note. I wrote her a very nice note. Maybe I am getting better at writing notes. Though great notes don't seem to make my reply percentage go up at all...

Third note - which is actually my fifth in some ways - but my third in notes to new to me people - was to an OKC woman in NYC who is 53 - 94% Match 81% Friend 8% Enemy. I will, whenever the woman is at least moderately attractive physically (yes, I am a physical-ist) write to someone regardless of location when the percentages are like this. She wants regular contact - and if she means physical contact in real time in real space, then for sure she won't write back a "heck, I'm game" note. Another good note - sometimes I worry that I will send a good note to a person whose profile was appealing, only to hear back and have "reaching out-ers regret" when they actually write back. So far, hasn't happened. But it is a worry...(She wrote and distance was the excuse.)

Fourth note - definitely G&G - this woman looked at my profile and didn't write - 81% Match 76% Friend 22% Enemy - 45 years old - lives in a different country (neighbor to the North) She says she is highly attracted to intelligence. I have some of that. Her profile was good, not great - too many little errors make for a bit of a red flag - but that could be haste or just laziness (neither of which are bad in moderation)(I could be accused of both of them at times) - 81% Match 76% Friend 22% Enemy - her photo also looks, I don't know, like a professional photo - not candid. Hmm. I wrote a decent note. She did view me first and she did say "located anywhere" so who knows. Maybe I will get at least a little decent conversation from her. That would be nifty. (Well, she wrote back once and actually asked a question - maybe I will have a dialogue with her)(Nah, not likely...)

Just now I had another thought - one which seems pretty obvious now - one's fears about the other person are just the inverse of one's own insecurities. That being said, I don't really believe that I am insecure about these things - I am, though, aware of them as potential areas of discongruity. 

Here is a relationship story not related to dating sites. I have a friend (yes, I know, a little shocking) and this friend has a Facebook Page. And on her facebook page, she has her friends. Well, one of those friends posted a comment on something and from the thumbnail, I thought I would like to see a large image of her. So I clicked through to her the friend's friend's page. I must admit to a bit of an immediate e-crush. I mentioned this to my friend and we will see what happens from there. Meanwhile, I got to thinking - I do that way too much sometimes - and here is what my sour grapes mentality came up with before we have even communicated (if that should even happen (should in the future sense, not the "ought to" sense)): 
she is too young, 
too pretty, 
too far away, 
not intelligent enough 
and not experienced enough to be someone who is attracted to me. 

What this might mean is that I think 
I am too old (which I am, I guess, though my age doesn't bother me - especially since I feel like I am 20 years younger than my physical age most of the time), 
not handsome enough (that is totally subjective - I have my moments of thinking that I am really, really handsome - other moments of "eww, what is that in the mirror" - other moments of - my hair and beard might be unappealing to some etc.) (Overall, I think I am above average in looks...) 
too far away (distance, I really believe, is in the mind. And circumstances change. Either of us could move - both of us could move - in the meantime there are modes of transportation and pretty amazing communication technologies to help bridge that gap until such time that the physical distance between us is minimized) 
too damn smart for my own good (nothing to do about this - I think I am pretty smart and find that most people just don't seem as smart as I am) (there are though, other kinds of intelligence and smarts - and finding someone smart - how important is that really in my desire to be in a relationship - which reminds me of a woman I met yesterday...but that is not for this part of the blog...)
too experienced (and finding someone who has had anywhere near as many as excellent experiences as I have is definitely a challenge) to find someone who will love me for who I am.

I have to face it that I am a pretty damn intimidating package. :)

So, yesterday, I met or at least interacted with two women, both of whom were attractive to me in very different ways. Two vastly different ages, looks, personalities, jobs etc. Will I follow up with either of them? Doubtful. But it was fun doing the flirting, for sure! (Ok, honestly, I mostly flirted with one, the other, I just thought about flirting with her..) 

Fifth Note - Match woman who is 48 - looking for a next door neighbor who is her age. Despite having a length profile I didn't really get much of a sense of who she is. I did get the feeling that she wouldn't be interested in me - I am not conservative enough. We shall of course, see. Not my best message effort.  

Sixth Note - Match woman who is 45 and apparently likes the Finger Lakes - a lot! Yay! I liked her profile, but again, I didn't get much of a sense of her particularly. I wonder if it is my eyes or just the people I am choosing to write to today. Sent an ok note. 

Feb 21

Maybe I would have more luck if I were in a larger urban area - like Toronto or NY City. When I am on OKC, I get a lot of suggested matches who live in those two places. And I find a lot of them appealing. Unfortunately, I get maybe 3 a month who are within 15 minutes of my house and of them, I only find 1 of 10 appealing. Sigh.

Anyway, my first note was to an OKC woman - 42 - 87% Match, 49% Friend, 13% enemy - who only wants someone up to 46 and who lives near her which I do not. I wrote a great note, if I must say so myself. Really great. She put in some actual crap notes she had received - the two or three word kind - so I started my note with a conglomeration of those. It was funny (at least I hope she thinks so). I have found, though, that most people from the city in which she lives don't respond. What the heck does "near me" mean? I thought it meant - near enough that we can get something started and see where it goes. Though, as I have mentioned before, in reality it means - if it takes more than 15 minutes to reach me, it isn't worth the effort. These people would not have survived life on the Chisholm Trail!

I love flirting. Or as Joni Mitchell says - We love our lovin'. Today there was a new person at work, not someone I am likely to run into again - no, I didn't ask for her number or anything. I might as her friend about her, but...anyway, it was just fun to flirt with someone. Yay!

Second note - 49 year old match woman who lives not far - but hasn't been online in a while. She reminds me of my childhood sweetheart. I dropped her a teeny line, not expecting much.

Third note - 48 year old match woman who lives near-ish - she made me a favorite, so I dropped her a line. Why the heck not? (She wrote me a note back - then commented on one of my pictures - I wrote back, but her profile had been hidden so I don't really know if she found someone or is just overwhelmed or what - haven't heard back again - one and out?)

Fourth Note - 45 year old POF woman in a town not too far away. There is something in her brief profile that makes me think it highly unlikely she will respond. I have been wrong once or twice...

Fifth Note - POF woman who is 40 and lives within 75 miles. That's a nice round distance that POF lets people choose for a dating distance qualifier. She appeared as a recommended person after I wrote my fourth note. Actually a few women were recommended and I am going to write a couple of them. This one, though, did start my p-crush indicator wobbling a little. As always hopeful of a conversation leading to a date leading to a relationship. What has experience taught me, though? And what is one definition of crazy? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Sigh. Am I crazy? At least, though the walls seem similar, I am beating my head against a bunch of different walls. So it is the same thing over and over again? Or am I stepping into a different (yet similar) river every time? Hmm. Anyway, my breath is held...Oh, just a note - since I started up on POF, I have not received one reply.

Sixth Note - POF Woman who is 44 and lives near the previous woman. Maybe they are neighbors. Or friends? Maybe they will fight over who has the right to date me! Hahahahahahaha. Ha.

Ok, there are five more tabbed women. Most of them are G&G - I know that they are too far away or whatever and won't write back. One of them, though, does rank on the p-crush scale. Actually two of them do. I might write them when I get back from the movie tonight. Nope, not going to write them tonight. Tomorrow is another day.

Well, that is a bit sad. A woman I have met once and been corresponding with for a while has said, after even more emails, that she doesn't think she will have time for us to get together again until she finished school - 20 months from now. Her time management skills probably need some honing. I guess I just wasn't a priority for her. Nor was finding someone new to hang out with. Why she was ever on a dating site in the first place is a question to which I will likely never have an answer. Whatever. Her loss.

Her is another observation. Women met in real life just seem to me to automatically be more attractive than women I meet through the internet. I wonder why that is. Yesterday and today, for instance, I met new to me people who were not necessarily more attractive in any way than people I am interested in on the internet, but for some reason they just felt more attractive. Maybe because they are more tangible?

Feb 20

Still hoping that one of the one note people was not really a won note person. But not holding out a lot of hope for that. We shall, of course, see. (Do I say that a lot? It feels like I say that a lot. I guess it might be one of my phrases - like "Sounds like a plan.")(I know I don't type that a lot, but I know I do say "Sounds like a plan" a lot.)

Again, multiple tabs have somehow found there way into my browser window. By the way, I love the idea of tabs in browser - whoever came up with that idea is a genius! I hope they were well rewarded by their company...

I have a couple of profile observations to make. If a person puts Auto racing/motocross as one of the sports they like, I am guessing we probably won't be a great match. Or if one of the activities they enjoy is 4 wheeling. And most people who are enthusiastic about all things water - they might be appealing to me in lots of other ways, but I am guessing we won't hit it off. This is not to say that I won't write them anyway, and I would be happy to be wrong. It just is a feeling I get and a sense I have from observation...

I think I get a p-crush (profile crush) on one in about twenty profiles. And the p-crush varies in intensity - from a 1 - a slightly more elevated level of interest than in general to a 10 - I lie awake for hours wondering if I should write and what I ought to write and if I wrote how long will it be before she responds and if she doesn't respond in what amount of time should I write again and if so what should I say and please oh please let her at least write me back once and then we can go from there unless she writes me a thank you but no thank you letter and then do I write back anything other than a thank you for at least taking the time to write letter or god has it only been five minutes since I sent that message...

First Note - I am going to break with my normal pattern and start with a note to a p-crush level 3 instead of writing some warm-up notes to others first. OKC woman (I don't know why I keep writing woman since I am not likely at this point in my life to start finding men to be attractive as romantic and sexual partners...) 44 - 87% Match, 78% Friend, 18% enemy - lives a bit farther than is comfortable, but is looking for people anywhere and even my age (and older). Her profile is well fleshed out, interesting, funny and thoughtful. Her pictures are appealing as well. So, here goes nothing...ok, killer first note if I must say so myself. Witty, friendly, showing I really looked at her profile and asking her a few simple to respond to questions, while making it clear that I was actually interested. One red flag is that she said she is available, not single. Not really sure what that means...Fingers crossed!

Three of the people on OKC that I am going to send messages to are just for grins and giggles. I think one of them, at least, is a fake profile. Maybe all three are.

Second Note - OKC woman - 54 - looks 34 in her pictures - no profile text at all - answered no questions so no match percentages - but heck, I don't have a problem going in blind! Leaps of faith - that is what life is all about! Geronimo! My guess is this is a fake profile.

Third Note - OKC Woman - 45 years old - no questions answered so no match percentage - very brief profile that doesn't give much of a clue about who she is - just that she spells armour the British way...I think maybe another fake profile. I actually think I wrote her before, long ago. I guess I will find out.

Fourth Note - OKC Woman - 36 years old - so right at the bottom of my hoped for age range - no questions answered. She does have a decently filled out profile. Red flags are: Her profile picture looks more like a modeling/glam shot than a real picture - she asks for "real" people - and she says that she has a hard time logging in - which I take to mean that if she does write back, she will immediately ask for an email address at which to write - perhaps giving one in exchange. Since I am out of her age range, though, I don't expect to hear back in any case...

The next 3 OKC people are all of interest to me. Not to register on the p-crush scale - but they all seem real and interesting. One of them has too low (for me) a top age desire, but I will write to her anyway - just because I love to waste everyone's time. :)

Fifth Note - OKC Woman 36 years old - I love her handle - I would tell you, but I am trying to maintain a bit of privacy for these people - 80% Match, 65% Friend and 9% enemy - she says she is bisexual - always interesting to me for some reason - and not too far away. And I am within her age range selection. Yay. Decent first note, but not the best effort.

Sixth note - OKC 39 year old woman with the low top age (she wants 40 - I am sure she won't respond positively (more likely she won't respond at all) - Match percentages should trump age requirements - anyway - Match 74%, Friend 55% and Enemy 12% - ok, not fantastic percentages - truthfully, she just appealed. I basically just told her that she appealed and that I didn't expect to hear from her. Next! (She wrote back and said I was sweet - a lot better than nothing!)

Seventh Note - OKC woman - 43 years old - lives too far away for comfort - so I am guessing no letter back - but I liked her profile and pictures and I feel compelled to write - not a p-crush but not chopped liver either. Match 86%, Friend 79%, Enemy 12% (She wrote back and said "Great Message." Then proceeded to write what I thought was a little hurtful - "But I really don't have a need or desire for a long distance acquaintance." Wow. Ouch. Whatever.

Ok, I am just about ready to quit. Not really. It's just so futile feeling at times. I will soldier on. Tomorrow is another day. 

Feb 19

Wow, I have a lot of open tabs. Will I or won't I write to the 15 people or will I whittle away at them as I realize that "correspondence is futile." (Yes, I have been binge watching Star Trek, TNG. Sigh.)

What I did do is send a message to a woman who has been weighing on my mind a bit. I first wrote her on the 17th and although she looked at my profile, a couple of times, she didn't write. Maybe she doesn't like to initiate correspondence. Maybe she is swamped with all of the letters she has been getting. Maybe I really, really seemed icky, gross and disgusting and she couldn't bear the thought of communicating with me. Or maybe, she picked up some vibe from my profile that warned her off. Or maybe one of 8 gazillion reasons. Whatever. Really, what she thinks is none of my business. (This thought, by the way, is from one of the interpersonal training workshops that I have attended over the years. And it is a powerful one. The "take-away" from it is that what other people think or believe or feel really has nothing to do with me. It is all their stuff. And as such (it being their stuff and nor really related to me) is none of my business.) But I drafted a decent second note - even got a second opinion on it, and finally sent it off today. Will I hear back? I hope so. Do I think I will hear back? Nope. Not pessimism - realism. Anyone who is reading this (is anyone reading this?) will have noticed that I get about 1 in ten responses. So the odds are just plain bad that she will respond. Moving on.

I guess part of the issue is just how serious someone is when they say they are willing to just make new friends even if it doesn't lead to a relationship. Generally I have found this to be untrue. Or not untrue exactly, but not something that ever happens. I do my best to keep a correspondence going - or a friendship even. But both a correspondence and a friendship take certain levels of effort and consistency that seems difficult to sustain.

Ok, I would like to write a few messages before going on with other things - I think I will start with the ones that have been "parked" in tabs the longest and move to the newer found ones.

First Note - OKC Woman - 37 years old - 84% Match, 79% Friend, 4% Enemy - that's pretty good, right?! She does say she is bisexual and last time I checked I was one of the two genders. So far, so good. She caps her age limit at 50 but I am well with her distance parameter - maybe. Near Me to one person means 50 yards, to another means 100 miles. Sigh. Anyway, honestly, I think she is looking for a bunch of friends more than she is specifically looking for a relationship at this point. So near me, probably means more like the 50 yards than the hours drive away that I am. Hmm, to write or not to write. Well, I will at least drop her a line. I know I like to get nice emails even if it doesn't lead to a relationship or anything...

Second Note - Match woman - 47 - she had no distance limit mentioned, so I wrote - she hasn't been online in a while - so I don't think that is ever a good sign for getting a response - and she likes some things that might indicate less than optimal matchiness. I just sent her a pleasant note - nothing too fancy.

Third note - Match woman - 53 - not too far away - though her top age limit is 50 - interesting, that. Not much to her profile. And she says she is trying to quit smoking. Sigh. Some survey said that only 20 percent of the population smokes. I would think that is inaccurate from my observations. I think that only 20 percent admit to smoking...anyway, I wrote her a short, not too exciting note. Ice breaker is about it.

You know, I don't know how I would feel if the woman I was actually attracted the most to wrote back. Would I immediately get buyer's remorse? Or would I be thrilled? And if it all came down to, in Joni Mitchell's words "smoking ash" after a bit of communication, would I be happier or sadder in my life? Or in the greater scope of things, does any of it really matter? Anyway...Well, she did write back with a nice letter saying I was too interesting for the point in her life at which she finds herself. Her loss. Next. (Also from an interpersonal communication class I took - a very helpful thing indeed.)

Fourth note - OKC woman - 46 years old - in a town nearby - 93% Match - 87% Friend and 7% Enemy - come on - it doesn't get much better than that. Then again, maybe she only answered 10 questions, so the sample isn't that large...I sent her a decent first note. (She responded...)(A couple of notes and then nothing...)

I decided not to write one of the woman I had tabbed. Moving forward...

And another - because, well, I think she is too country and I am too rock and roll - er urban.

And another not being written to - the match percentages aren't that high and though she has an interesting profile, I just am not feeling it. Perhaps it is because of the pleasant rejection I just received, or maybe I am just not in the mood...

Fifth note - OKC woman who showed up in my quiver - OKC puts 3 people they think are really good matches into a special tab called a quiver. I have found that most of the time, I am not all that thrilled by my quiver-ites. Every once in a while there is a decent one, though. This one was 51 and lives in the big apple - so too far, really. She had a lovely profile and seemed like a person it would be nice to get to know. At the end of her profile, though, she said she would not respond to anyone who had not been married and divorced or who had not had children. I sent her a note anyway, not expecting a reply. We will call this one G&G.

Sixth note - though this is really a second note to someone who didn't respond to my first nice note. Yes, this note was nice too. I don't generally write mean notes - though I am sometimes tempted to. Expectations - not so high, despite high ratings - OKC woman - 47 - not too far - 94% match - 81% Friend and 10% enemy - and she won't even bother to write back, I bet. Yup, working out my frustrations through blogging about them. Yippee!

Ok, going to skip the next one too - I just think she looks too somber. Looks can be deceiving of course, but still...

Seventh Note - POF - 45 year old living not too far away - one word profile text which is a little bit of a warning - meaning that she isn't all that invested in the process. So I doubt I will hear from her.

Eighth Note - Match.com - 49 year old lives not a long way off - I was excited by her profile and pictures and got a little less so after I sent the message. She is also looking for someone secure financially - not me - and from some things in her profile, she is not as free spirited as I thought she was. Oh well. (Wrote a not very clear response note - I got the sense that she wasn't interested in getting to know me better, but I wrote back for clarification)

Just exed another. She looked at my profile and had an empty profile herself. I was tempted, butI just wasn't up for it.

I wrote a second note to a match woman. Match said she looked at my profile again - though I don't know that that is necessarily true. So just a brief note to say I was still interested. Not really holding out much hope, though...

Feb 18

I have 6 tabs full of people waiting to be written notes. Whether or not I will end up writing them is anyone's guess. My mind is sort of full of a couple of other people just now. We shall see.

First note for G&G - Match woman who is 52 - lives not so far away - but I could tell from her profile, we just don't have anything in common - at all. She has oodles of pictures posted and I just admired her energy. So I wrote. 

Second note - probably for G&G as well - Match woman who is 43 - her age limit is up to 60, though! And I live within her distance circle. She says she wants a "down-to-earth" guy - which makes me think she is probably too conservative to be interested in the likes of me. Still, I am in a typing mood (while I wait 24 hours to re-write one who didn't respond last night).

Third note - Match woman - 53 - probably the one I am most interested in so far of the three I have written today. She had a very clear profile - paragraphs and everything - gave me a good feeling. One red flag that suggests she might not (probably won't) write back - wanting a guy who smells good (I tried wearing cologne for a week back in college and I couldn't handle it!).

TDP - Too damn pretty. Just a thought I had and I do tend to get my thoughts out and down as often as possible. Even if posterity doesn't care, I at least got it out of my brain. Yay! Anyway, some people are just TDP. Must suck to be them...

The Second Week in Review

14 days of letter writing. Wow. Life really does move quicker as you get older.

In the past week, I have written a lot of emails and received, well, very few responses in return. Let's see - 15 people on Match, 2 on OKC and 9 POF people. And one note on which site I do not recall. That is a hefty number of messages. If my notes are correct, I have only received two or three messages in response. And none of the correspondences came to much more than one message. I would say we are still in the 10% return rate.

A friend mentioned that most of the people I have been writing to are in their 40s - just a comment, but it got me thinking - how does the age thing fall out?

37, 38, 38, 40, 40, 40, 41, 41, 41, 41, 43, 43, 43, 44, 44, 44, 44, 45, 45, 46, 46, 46, 47, 48, 51, 54

And I have been written to by a couple of people in their sixties.

Turns out my friend was quietly suggesting I spread my net further. I thought I was doing that already...Maybe she means that I ought to be looking even older - up to 70? Not that I have an issue with that. I just haven't seen many women online 60 and above that are all that attractive to me. I am sure there are some. But as the age increases, the number of women decreases...

I really need to let go of whether or not I get responses to my messages. It is hard, though. I write and write and write and get very little in the way of response - much less anything in the way of a date or, heck, a relationship. It is especially difficult when, for some reason or other, I get a little emotionally attached to just their profile. Crazy, I know, but there it is.

Feb 17

I haven't been up long, but have already sent a few messages. One was a reply to a message from last night from a conversation that got interrupted. A second was to a woman to whom I had written before - one of the pitterpats from a few days ago - who had looked and chosen not to respond. Well, match seemed to think she looked again, so I wrote again. Still hoping, but not investing too much in it...

I currently have six tabs open with people to whom I am thinking of writing. Half of them are matches in terms of their criteria for age and distance - the other half are "close enough" that I don't feel too terrible (or two crazy) to at least try sending them a note. We shall see if I get to actually writing them...

First note - OKC - 40 years old (what is up with the 40 years "young" thing? Ok, I get it, it is a positive mental attitude thing - still, it is a little irksome to hear - think it all you like, but it really can remain unsaid in most cases)(not that this person said it - I was just thinking about it...) but only wants a guy up to 47 - but was open to a guy anywhere! I hope she doesn't get a lot of messages from Timbuktu! Ratings were 68% Match, 72% friend and 11% enemy - not too shabby. I am guessing there is a 1 in 40 chance that she will send me a nice, receptive message. Is that too pessimistic/realistic of me?

I decided not to write to one of the women I had sitting around in tabs. My main reason for that choice was her focus on God. Please don't get me wrong. A person who has a personal relationship with the divine is fine. It is people who need to tell others about it that makes me a tad bit nervous. God is such a heavily weighted concept and a potentially contentious one, that I would rather see someone who has internal beliefs (and lives them actively) but doesn't flaunt them.

Second Note - Match - 45 year old woman - I am older than her top limit (she only goes to 47) but her profile just appealed way too much to ignore. I liked my note to her - it was about juggling. Right, probably not the wisest move, but oh well, I am a juggler. Sue me.

Third Note - OKC - 47 year old - Match 61%, Friend 64% and Enemy 27% - I am a smidge concerned about the 27% enemy - but looking at the questions, sometimes the ones where we disagree or silly - toilet paper over the top or down the back sorts of things. One never knows. As for my note - not my best effort, but not too shabby. And hopefully better than a lot of guys "Hey there, how are you?" notes.

Fourth note - OKC - 66% Match, 64% Friend, 21% Enemy - 44 year old - but lives really close. I have decided that a top age of 50 means early fifties. :) Anyway, lots of red flags here - but honestly, she lives so close and her pictures were quite appealing - so I wrote despite the red flags. Heck, it isn't like she will actually be interested in respond. First off, she is probably a conservative - she mentioned she was a country girl. I don't know why I equate country people with conservatives - mainly in values, and esthetics. Hey, I have some conservative values - well, more like conservation values. Or is that Conversation? Anyway - just thought it was worth a try. No harm, no foul when she doesn't, er, if she doesn't respond.

I write to people for a variety of reasons. Usually it is because of something in their profile text. And sometimes it is because they are physically attractive. Fourth note today was that reason. Goodness she was appealing.

Does anyone else make snap judgements about someone just by looking at them? Sometimes I look at a person and think - oh, she's picked some bad partners in her life and will sadly probably continue to do so. She isn't a happy camper. Oh boy, I bet she laughs a lot and has a great attitude! That sort of thing? Sometimes I think I can tell a person who smokes just by looks...

The more I think about the fourth note person, the surer I am that she would never, ever write back. Not in a million years.

Oh, I asked a friend to play matchmaker for me. I would love to be matched by a friend with someone - even if it didn't work out. Sadly, all of her friends are either in solid relationships or aren't interested in dating. It was worth a try.

It is one of those days - one where women are looking particularly attractive. We were at the doctor's office and three women appealed - one from the other day was now in a different job - I discovered her name. Yay. And two new-to-me people working reception were both appealing. Sadly, I am not the guy who says, hey, would you like to get a coffee or something? I don't know why I am not that guy, but so far, in my 52 years on the planet, I don't think I have ever been that precipitous. I just wish that mom were sick (ok, no I don't) so that we could go in there more often. Instead, I will sigh softly to myself and go on as I was going on...

Fifth Note - Match - 50 year old within driving distance - I have written her before and she didn't write back - but she appeared in my match.com page for some reason or other. And she still appeals. Though if at first she didn't write, she probably won't write this time either. I never did understand the try, try again, thing. It certainly hasn't seem to work on dating sites...

Sixth Note - OKC - 43 year old, 79% Match, 79% friend, 13 percent Enemy - another one that has gotten my heart beating a little more than usual. She lives further away than near to me - but darn it, I really liked her profile. Fingers spring eternally crossed or something like that. Ok, she looked at my profile but hasn't set a message (ten minutes at least). I have been answering questions and have upped out match and friend percentages to 85, 81 and 12...If I don't hear from her tonight, I will write her again. Yes, I am that e-smitten. Well, she went offline and didn't send me a message. I will wait until some point tomorrow and send her another note. I am actually dumbfounded that she didn't write back. That happens to me sometimes, being dumbfounded...We are up to 85%, 84%, 12%

Seventh Note - OKS - 47 year old who lives a little far away - and smokes - but she looked at my profile and hers was nothing if not intriguing. So I sent her a note. (She wrote back. See, it does happen...)

Feb 16

First Note - written to a person with out a picture posted - always a bit of a red-flag - are they particularly shy? Privacy conscious? Two headed? I am always hoping for the last...Anyway, she is 50, on OKC (73% Match, 80% Friend, 17% Enemy) and lives a little far away, but not too far for our dauntless letter writer to drop her a line! (She wrote back already.)

Second Note - I wrote this woman last summer and never heard back - she apparently stopped by my profile recently. She didn't respond to my first message back then and I don't think she will reply to my message this time. But, heck, I have fingers, I shall type. Oh, 47, OKC ( 64% match, 70% friend, 24% enemy and I rated her profile 4 stars (I have never rated anyone's profile 5 stars - though there was one woman I was sorely tempted to give five stars - maybe is she had written back...but I digress) and lives relatively close. And from her profile sounds like someone I would be happy to meet. I went back to check out her %'s and saw the first note I sent back in June. Remarkably similar (which is why I am remarking on it, I guess) to my previous note. Which got no reply. Honestly, I was a little smitten by her and her profile and was more than usually minorly miffed when I didn't hear back. Whatever, I have no control over other people's choices (unless they give it to me...)

Third Note - OKC - 41 (Match 51%, friend 61%, Enemy 30%) written for G&G mostly. I thought her profile had a sense of humor and kept me reading, which is a good thing. She lives not a long way off - I am over her age range (up to 48) - all in all, not expecting a response of "sure, let's get to know each other). My guess, a look at my profile (maybe) and no message at all.

There's another thing that I like about OKC. It keeps track of how many times someone responds (whether this is just the initial response, or what, I don't know - it is their set of algorithms) and then has a little notation about "responds selectively" or "responds often" (boy do I feel a teeny kick in the gonads when someone who responds often doesn't even bother to respond...)

Feb 15

No notes so far - probably won't write any until later tonight. I do have a few - three, that I am thinking of writing - without delving into the people I have liked on Match who haven't communicated with me (that I recall - sigh.)

Then again, I might just take a day off writing entirely. Well, writing new messages to new people. I mean, it just as gotten me so far! And I am pretty exhausted. We will see if my mind changes before I go to sleep. Anything is possible!

First note - 50 year old match woman - living not too far away. I am not holding out a lot of hope for hearing from her. She seems more dedicatedly athletic than I am.

Second Note - 49 year old match woman - she has been one of my "likes" for a long while - Although nothing in her profile says middle of the road or conservative, that is the vibe I get. So why did I write? Because one never knows...oh, I am taller than she desires (but within distance).

Third Note - Yes, I am a glutton for punishment - 41 year old woman who lives within her preferred distance - though I am a few years older than her top limit. She mentioned a brewery near her, which I take as a good sign. Auto racing, though...

I am hoping that my sherry influenced emails aren't getting too, er, sloppy...

Fourth Note - 48 year old match woman within traveling distance - I think I have written her before - I am guessing that she didn't write back. And maybe I will get my third "no thanks" email. She doesn't give enough to give me a hint as to her sense of self or her mental openness. I like to pretend to believe that she is open. We shall see, won't we.

Another day, another four notes...without reply thus far...

Feb 14 - Valentine's Day

The woman who wrote back and I wrote back to hasn't responded. Something a friend pointed out, is that not everyone is as "responsive" as I am where email is concerned. For instance, some people are perfectly comfortable waiting a few days (or more) to respond to an email. As I mentioned, one woman waited a month to write after I sent her a message on OKC. True, it was to say that she was interested in someone else and exploring that possible relationship, but still. Which brings me to a thought of mine - that responsiveness (except in "friend" messaging) is directly proportional to interest level. If someone is interested in me, they will respond more actively than if they are not. Unless of course they are playing some sort of game about not appearing too interested. Then, who the heck knows...

I have gotten no responses to any of the messages I sent yesterday (unless noted elsewhere - my brain is tired...).

First note - 41 year old woman on Match - for some reason I favorited her - reading through her profile, I am not sure why. She seems to be more interested in the rugged sort - oh, more about this in a minute. But I am within her age range and distance desire, so...

Trolls vs Elves. This is an observation that is probably just crazy talk. "Trolls" are not attractive to me, but they are attractive to others. "Elves" are more attractive to me. It seems that most women (as do most men, I believe) have a type. They are either more attracted to Elvish sorts or troll-like people. To me, elves are thin and willowy - slender perhaps - long fingered, graceful. Trolls tend to be thicker, more densely built. Elves are resilient. Trolls are sturdy or rugged. So when a woman says she is looking for someone rugged - the image I get is more football player than basketball player or fencer. I think of myself as more elvish, by the way...Oh, and it seems to me that elvish women for some reason like troll-like men. What's that about?

Second note - 38 year old woman who is distancely not right (15 miles?!) and age wise not right (she does as high as 48, which are probably the reasons I didn't write when I first "liked" one of her photos. Oh well. I love her handle, though. And her profile was appealing. And she too has lived on the West Coast. Nothing ventured...And I got a "No Thanks" canned email from her. Maybe I had written to her before - hard to tell since Match wipes out mail and any reference to the mail after 30 days. Oh well. You guessed it, her loss. (Oops, I saw her headline and remembered writing to her a long while ago - her headline was French for unforgettable and I had forgotten her and her lack of response last time. Tee hee.)

Third Note - Plenty of Fish woman - not really going to say much about her - POF has this weird thing - showing people who won't accept a message from "certain" people. At the bottom of a profile it says if someone has some parameters that must be met in order to write them - distance, age, picture in profile, shoe size etc. I check those to make sure that I won't get a "this person is not accepting messages from men who have feet" note. Well, I got one of the "not accepting" messages anyway. Who the heck knows why? Moving on.

An example of what a person might have on POF:
Older than 40
Live in United States
Live within 75 miles.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
Must not be married

Fourth Note - 38 year old POF woman who lives in the same state at least. 10 word profile. I guess she is letting her picture speak for her. She wants real and fun. I am about as real as it gets and told her so. But I really am not all that much fun. My guess, no note back.

Fifth Note 43 year old POF woman written to for G&G and I told her as much. I do that sometimes, write to someone I know is not a match - in this case she likes UFC and Investing - not my things at all - but who had a fun, interesting profile or who was particularly physically appealing. Yup, you got it, not expecting a reply of any kind from her.

Sometimes there are days when women just seem particularly attractive. Today was one of those days. I saw at least 6 women in the grocery store who I would have been interested in asking out on aura alone. And one at the Dollar Tree (though she might have been only 17). I was buying mom a helium balloon (isn't it weird that we humans can't make helium?) for Valentine's Day. She loves the floaty balloons. I joked with the cashier that I would give her a balloon, but I didn't know her. I then said I hoped that her sweetie was doing something nice for her. She said that she didn't have a SO. I was very surprised. Maybe she just doesn't want one. That is always possible. Anyway, my weird little mind thinks that I will go back one day and get her a balloon. Heck, generating a smile is worth $1.08 anytime!

Sixth Note - 41 year old Match woman - up to 50 (oops) but near by. I have liked her for a while and I don't recall whether or not I wrote her before. I guess if I have, she too will send me an official "no thanks" note. Whatever. I sent her a decent first letter. (Or maybe second. Damn Match.com!)

Feb 13

One of the Match women wrote back last night. She wrote a lovely long message but didn't indicate, to me at least, if she wanted to continue communication or not. She asked no real questions (though one sentence ended in a question mark) and didn't say anything overt about looking forward to getting to know me. Ah well, everyone communicates differently. All I can do is continue onward. So I sent her a note in return. We shall see what happens.

It is early-ish in the morning - time to write a few notes before getting the rest of my day started. I am starting on my "likes" on match.

First note - 39 year old match woman who wants a guy up to 45 (oops) but the distance seems ok. Actually, upon reviewing her profile more, I don't think I will actually write to her.

First note - 45 year old match woman who lives within a mutually acceptable travel distance. I am a smidge older than her desired age range allows, but not horrendously...Not much in her profile but enough to make it clear that she isn't illiterate. Yay for literacy! She says her politics are "middle of the road." Is that code for basically conservative? If so, I doubt I will hear from her. Not my best effort, but not too shoddy either.

I find that I cannot "unlike" someone or their picture. What is that about? Nor can I delete them from my likes on Match.

Second note - 40 year old match woman (only interested up to 48 but she is willing to look further afield than many (100 miles) and she is worth a note. Heck, really, anyone is worth a note but I think you know what I mean...ok, that one was pretty good. I had a mini-inspiration and wrote - I have taken the first step - will you take the second? Ok, seriously, I doubt I will hear from her but I had fun with the note!

Third Note - 44 year old OKC woman who is definitely not "near me" but in whose age range I fit. Her bottom age range is 27, though...following the age in half plus seven rule of thumb, 29 would be ok - better than the woman who put 18 as her bottom age! Eeek! Not that I would go running if a real 18 year old wrote me - but I wouldn't hold out any hopes for a real, meaningful relationship with someone so young. And that is what I am looking for, aren't I? Anyway...not an awesome note but pretty darn good, if I must say so myself. A couple of question marks about her, but aren't there always about anyone anyways? (Wow, that is a lot of a's!)

I just had a little realization (which I might have had before - who knows?) that a crush is really half of "chemistry." Chemistry occurs when both people have a crush on each other at the same time...

Fourth Note - G&G - 43 year old woman looking for someone who is at most 44 and within 50 miles - which I am not - hence the G&G. She just appealed, despite some red flags (like the two above) and that she is currently separated - this can mean so many things. But she says she is "very liberal" so a little bit of hope leaps in my heart...I was going to ask her about some of the things in her profile, but decided it could have easily been taken as an attack instead of the lighthearted curiosity that I was feeling. My guess, I won't hear back.

Feb 12

Another day, another dozen emails. I don't plan on spending much time at the Smith today. All I really need to do is tweak the slide show a bit. So I will spend the day puttering around the house and doing things on the computer. Like waiting for email to magically appear in my inbox. Now, for some people, this would be magic, as they don't write any emails - so expecting some to appear is less likely and more apt to be magic. I, on the other hand, write a lot of messages, so one would think I would get more responses. Ha!


First note - Match woman who is 40. I live within her area of tolerance and am age range! Yay. My one concern is that she says she smokes "occasionally." What does that mean? I wrote a decent first email, I think.

Second note - POF - She is 43 but looks like she is in her twenties from her pictures. I got a conservative leaning vibe, so I doubt I will hear back. I find that conservative leaning people generally don't groove on men with long hair. Anyway, she had a very short profile that didn't have much in the way of pith. But she lives really close. Hope springs...

Third note - Match.com - She says she is 48 but honestly, she could be anywhere from 35 up. Truly one of the most attractive women I have seen online. I wrote her twice a month ago - I think she looked at my profile and opted to not write. But it has been a month - perhaps she has kissed a bunch of frogs and might take the time to re-visit my profile and try me out. Extremely (!!!!!) doubtful. But it really doesn't hurt that much for me to put myself out there again. (Got a response - an official - I don't think we are a match - her loss - in fact the message from match was sweet - it said that "Some people just don't know a good thing")

Fourth note - Match.com - 44 living not too far away - she hasn't been active in 3 weeks - which means that either she has found someone and just not bothered to take her profile down - or has found someone who isn't ideal and is still looking - or maybe her membership lapsed. Who knows? I guess if she doesn't read the message for a week or more, I will know that she really isn't online any more. Although her profile is brief and she is a trying to quit smoker, she does like to play pool!

I think another keyword for conservative leaning women is when they say they are looking for a "professional." I read this to be a business executive type. Eww. I am professional, but not a business executive type. Ick city even.

Fifth note - POF - 46 year old woman who lives within travel distance - she says her education level is high school - and her profile is fairly thin. But heck, I am intrigued, so I will drop her a nice note saying hi and see what happens (or doesn't happen...)

Sixth note - POF - 41 year old woman who lives closer than some and farther away than others - I doubt I will get a response from her because she is looking for "rugged" men. Another word that definitely cannot be used where I am concerned. Fit, sure. But rugged? Nope. Nor am I "athletic." I am not going to ever run a marathon, compete in a triathlon or any of that sort of stuff. But, I am in a writing mood, so here goes...oh, I forgot, she also said "down-to-earth" which I really believe is code for conservative...sigh.

Seventh Note - POF - 40 year old who is definitely not interested in being a cougar - in fact almost her entire profile text was related to that issue. She lives within the optimum triangle. I dropped her a nice line and we will hope that it appeals enough for a positive response.

3 of the people I have written to on POF have checked out my profile but none of them have written. Can't say as I am shocked...

Yup, I am going to say it again, in a different way - why don't they (women I write to) give me a chance? I know it is their stuff, but that is no consolation. I truly believe that I could be in a relationship with most anyone. I have a lot to offer. And I am open to what the universe provides. Sure, I have some things that may make me choose to be in a non-romantic rather than a romantic relationship with a particular person. That being said, I am always open to the opportunity to meet a new person and to get to know them. Why don't others seem to be willing to do the same thing? Life is too short? There are only so many electrons and they can't waste a precious few on me? Waaa. I know that's what this sounds like - 'cause it is. Waaa like a little baby. Please understand, that if I lived on an island and had all I needed in terms of water and food, I would be happy with being on my own. The fact of the matter is, though, that I don't live on an island. There are lots and lots of women around who are not in committed relationships. Aren't there? Can't I find a few who share a mutual attraction?

Eight Note - Match - one of my "likes" popped up after I went through my daily matches - none of whom appealed especially. The woman I just tossed off a quick note to was 41 - only wanted someone who was 50 (though her bottom age was 18!) and I live a little further than her desired 50 miles. Still, I liked her teeny profile, so I wrote.

Feb 11 - And a few confessions about crushes

I am going to start with the confessions. I don't know yet if I will find anyone of interest to write messages to.

When I have a crush on someone, I immediately have large leaps of fancy: she loves me, she and I will flirt a bit and quickly get into a relationship, she can't wait to introduce me to her friends, family, dog...right. Like any of that really happens. Nope. Not a bit of it. What usually happens is a lot of nothing. The feeling is not mutual, it is only one sided and all in my little pea brain (because of the color, not because of the computational power...).

Being the clever cuss I am, I do sometimes try to see what is out there in the e-verse about them. Having their name helps, or their email address. Sometimes I find stuff, often I find very little or ambiguous stuff (right name, but not right geography or age or whatever). Sometimes I get lucky and find their Facebook or other sites to which they belong. I would never, ever send a friend request to a crush. Never. If they request a friendship with me, I will certainly agree, but it would be highly out of character for me to initiate that.

A recent crush I had belonged to a bunch of public-ish sites. One was a shopping site with wish lists of what they might like as gifts. Weird site and weird idea. Sadly, I was tempted to get them something and get it to them in some way. Maybe, since V-Day is coming up, give it to them as a Valentine's Day gift from a secret admirer. Like that ever works in real life? Ha. Hahahahaha. Ha. Haha. I will admit to having done similar things once or twice (or maybe three times) in the past. To no avail. Often it becomes clear before I give the gift that the crush was only on my end. Sometimes I just chicken out. Bwuck, bwuck, bwuck... (That is supposed to be the sound a chicken makes...)

Another recent crush, well, I only really know where she works. Not that helpful unless it were a restaurant, which it isn't. And again, I am pretty sure (definitely actually) that any crushy sort of thoughts are completely one sided. My sided. Sighded...

From Six to One - and that one is a maybe. I am kind of burned out on Match and OK Cupid just now. I have written to most everyone I can find on both sites. Ok, not true - there are more on Match that I could write to - but I am not feeling up to it. It isn't the rejection so much as the lack of any interaction. Heck, I wouldn't mind if someone wrote me and told me I was icky and had an argument (not that I would argue...) that lasted a few emails. It is at points like this that I tend to think of even more extreme ways to find interaction. Maybe I will try to play some video games. Anything might help! Oh, the Six to One refers to how many women I starting looking at and how many I might actually write to on Plenty of Fish (POF).

Oh, and though I still get a lot of crushes, they are mostly shorter lived than they used to be. I used to anguish over a crush for months, now I have managed to get the anguish down to a week or even a few days. Gotta love the speed at which life is moving for me nowadays! :)

Ok, wrote to one woman on POF - she lives a good distance away, 45 years old - just seemed interesting - and her profile was pithy as opposed to 25 words and out!

Then again, do profiles really matter? Let's face facts. Most people just look at the photos and then decide to write. Or not. I am not most people. A picture may attract me, but a profile that is full of typos, bad punctuation or full of information that is off-putting (I am a conservative, gold digger, who likes to be pampered...and likes men who wear cowboy hats, drive a truck and are clean shaven...) will turn an initial - oh, she looks appealing to and oh, my, no thank you.

I don't think a lot of the women on these sites are seriously looking for a significant other. I say this because they don't respond to my messages. I do get that I am not for everyone. But how are you going to find someone if you only reply to the people who seem perfect for you? How many perfect for you people are there? And just because they seem perfect for you, doesn't mean that you are perfect for them. Do realize, please, that I don't mean perfect as in "perfect" I mean as seemingly ideal or close enough for government work. I figure if someone has taken the time and effort to write to me, even if I see no possibility of a relationship, I will write back. And if they really, really believe that they are right for me and want to talk on the phone or meet, heck, I will do that. Why? Because I have no life and I crave interaction. Yes, that is one bloody honest answer. The other is because anything is possible. Any. Thing. Is. Possible. Who am I to limit myself to just what I believe? They could be right, they could be just who I am looking for and I didn't know it. Most things are unlikely, and it is most likely that I was right, but I am willing to try. Most women, well, even a well crafted note from a man who is pretty frickin' awesome doesn't do it for them for whatever reason. And they move past my message and the no-matter-how-remote possibility that we might get along in some way shape or form. Whatever.

On Match, it shows how many "likes" one has received and how many "likes" one has sent. I received 17 (thus far) and have sent 100. Sigh. I am cleaning those up now. Double sigh.

Second note - Woman on Match who was looking for someone a smidge younger than I am - 50 was her top limit - she is 37 - and I am within her dating circumference. We shall see. I thought I wrote a pretty decent first email this time.

I think my plan will be to go through the 100 likes I have sent and decide whether or not to send them messages. Part of me just wants to send them messages no matter what - meaning no matter what their age or distance preferences are. All it does it takes me a little time. And since I like to write, why the heck not. Practice makes perfect!

Third note - woman on POF - 44 lives a bit too far away I guess and I just get the feeling that I am not her type. Or that she will think I am not her type - which really amounts to the same thing in this situation...

I wish I could figure out more about people by the language they use and how they describe themselves. What does "down-to-earth" mean?

Here it is, 10:30 at night and I have found four people to write to. I think I have written to at least one of them before. But heck, I will try again. Maybe since she hasn't found anyone to date in the past month she might rethink her decision not to at least communicate with. Hahahahahaha! But I am not going to write any of them tonight - I will save that joy for tomorrow...

Feb 10 - plus a few observations...

I am toying with the idea of a radical make-over. Chop off my hair and shave off my beard. I will still be me, won't I? Fuzzy Wuzzy remained Fuzzy Wuzzy after all, didn't he?

It is harder for me to write some emails than others. A bit of performance anxiety perhaps. Perhaps because I feel more is at stake. Nonsense really, since these women will or will not desire to know me better because of what is in themselves and not what is in me or in my profile or in my initial email. Sigh. Just get typing, Augustus. Sooner sent, sooner out of my mind.

I am triply concerned about the first woman I am writing to. The primary concern is that she is "currently separated" which means not totally free, emotionally for sure, probably legally. Second concern is that she seems to be a beach person and I am more of a mountain person, not a biggie, just a little flag. Third, she is a dancer - now this isn't really a concern, more of a niggling. I love to dance. Just not in public. I might could get over this given the right incentive and partner. Could she be the one? Anyway, she in on Match, is 51, lives not far away at all and is in many respects, at least from her profile, someone who I would be happy getting to know better.

Sometimes when I write an initial letter, I get a feeling that I have written something dead on and great. Since I don't get feedback from many of my notes, I am probably wrong. As I am probably wrong when I feel that I tried too hard or missed the mark. This note I just wrote, felt like the latter...Again, not much feedback.

People often say they are looking for Chemistry/Spark in a relationship. Heck, I know what they mean. And that is a good feeling. Sadly, everything I have read and experienced leads me to believe that chemistry and spark are the last things a good, lasting long term relationship should be built on. One book suggested that the Chemistry fueled feeling generally lasts about two weeks - the honeymoon period in a relationship, before the blinders and the rose colored glasses come off and you are confronted with the reality of the person you are with in the flesh and for real. My thought - enjoy the chemistry, and start from the very beginning trying to see who someone actually is and if their essence resonates with your essence. This presupposes that one knows one's own essence...

The next woman I am writing to gives me little butterflies in my stomach. Just from her profile and pictures. This does not happen frequently. My one concern here is that I am out of her desired distance (though she does say that she likes Ithaca and the Finger Lakes which makes me think I will be ok in that respect at least). Here goes - oh, she is on Match, is 46 and lives not too far away (in my opinion). Hmm. Not my best first email. Maybe I am tired. Or something. Grrr.

Last one for now - also on Match - 47 with no distance requirement mentioned. I don't think I have seen that before. I have seen 300 miles, but never noticed someone without any distance preference. Then again, this woman seems to be really together and a little bit intimidating. I don't intimidate easily, I don't think. But what the heck, nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Faint heart never won fair damsel. Write on! Again, not feeling like I nailed it. I don't think I was particularly funny or intelligent sounding. Sigh.

I have a couple mental of responses to people who say "no" by not replying to a lovely, thoughtful message of the type I send. First is, "phew!" I guess I was wrong about how interesting they were. Second thought is, "their loss." Maybe it is a bit of "sour grapes" but I know how wonderful I am. (And I know my own limitations...)

One of the nice things about being a subscriber to Match is I can tell if a message has been read or not. Yay! All three messages were read and no one, so far, has responded.

I mentioned two mini-crushes I had at the concert on Saturday in my regular blog. As I said there, I would be very, very surprised if anything came of either of them. Hope springs...

Feb 9

I was at work all day yesterday so didn't do much in the way of blogging or note writing or note responding. One person I had been corresponding with decided to leave OKC because it was making her feel bad about herself. I offered to still be her friend if she wanted. She didn't want.

Note 1 - Match.com woman who says she is 54 and lives less than 50 miles away. So far, so good since, I am in her desired age range and distance area. In her brief profile, she wrote that she wanted someone who had a few of the same qualities that she possessed - the only one that might be a stretch as far as I am concerned was down-to-earth - though I do think that for the most part I am pretty practical, which is similar, isn't it?

I got a response to one of my recent Match messages. A little surprised that this woman wrote back. Partly because I was older than her age range, partly because, well, honestly, she seemed like she might not be interested in a long-haired guy. Just a feeling I got. Her message, though, wasn't clear, to me, as to whether or not she wanted to get to know me better or not, or was just being polite and responding. I am leaning towards the latter, but will write back in a hopeful and positive manner in a bit. Ok - I wrote back. A good note, if I must say so myself. Now, I wait for a bit. I loooove waiting.

On Match, one of the "features" is the ability to comment on someone's picture - not sure how that works having never received a comment on one of my lovely photos. Maybe it just comes through as an unreferenced message - in which case my comment will make no sense. And does that count as sending a message? I think it will have to - so - Note 2!

Ok, life sometimes isn't fair. I am writing somewhere about crushes. And now, I have three little, let's see, what is a good way to describe this phenomenon - e-crushes is my first thought - though that isn't quite descriptive enough - p-crushes - the p standing for profile. Match sent me a note and three of the women they tossed my way were pretty appealing. So I will have to write to all three. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. I am writing a lot right now and am not sure I can write letters that will spark enough interest for them to see through my profile to the me that might actually be of interest to them.

Before I get there, though, I do want to say a little something about me and my philosophy of finding a significant other. It is true that I am interested in a lot of people at the same time. Interested being the operative word. Until I am in a Relationship (a committed, romantic relationship) I keep my eyes, ears and heart open to the possibilities that the Universe presents. So, yes, I might be writing to 1 or 17 people at the same time. Until such time that something coalesces into an actual Relationship, I will continue to be interested in as many people as happen to be interesting. Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so. If I have no birds firmly in my gentle grasp, all those birds in the bushes are flapping and chirping and oh so mesmerizing. All I am looking for (ha) is a woman who resonates with me on as many levels as possible, which, if we really look at is, what anyone is looking for. We would like it all, and barring that, we would like as much of whatever as possible. So, until a woman and I have moved from acquaintance-ship to Relationship, I keep on looking. This could cause a problem if I find two or even three women who all are as interested in me as I am in them - but so far, in my 50+ years, this hasn't happened. Yet. Anything is possible - most things are unlikely...

The first week in review

Tallies for the week (Feb 1 through Feb 7):

I initiated 20 "conversations": 14 on match, 6 on OK Cupid. Of those, 4 responded at least once. 3 responded more than once. Of those that responded more than once, I spoke on the phone with one woman. I thought we might actually meet, but so far, we haven't set anything up.

One person initiated contact with me. I wrote her a few times. She wasn't a strong match and I wasn't overly eager to get to know her. That being said, I am willing, able and open to meeting anyone and getting to know anyone who really wants to get to know me.

I did not meet anyone in person from the messages I wrote this week.

It looks like one in five wrote back and of those five one was a potential person to at least meet. Not too bad for a weeks worth of relationship efforts.

Feb 8

I am working at the Smith all day. Won't stop me from writing at least one note!

On OKC, it is easy to find the new to the site people. This woman appeared - 40 - about 40 miles away with ratings of 79% match, 74% friend and 15% enemy - listed as bisexual - and in this case she said she was looking for guys who could even be my age! Hope springs...

Would it be interesting to anyone if I included my message text here? Not that I think anyone is reading this with great interest in any case. True, I am not promoting it, but still, I would have thought more of my friends at least would slog through it regularly. C'est fromage...

Feb 7

The tricky woman who wanted to be on match but didn't want to pay so she embedded her email address into her profile wrote back. She asked for my screenname on Match so she could look at my profile. Surprisingly (not), after looking she didn't write again. Quelle horruer! :)

Tomorrow I will do a recap of all the messages I have sent and the "results" of that messaging. Today, though, is just another day.

My pre-breakfast, pre-Smith note - to a 46 year old woman who lives not far away (not far is code for not in Geneva) who caught my eye. After I sent the note, I was surprised to see no "like her" profiles displayed. I even tried to find "like her" a different way only to be told by match.com that there were no matches like her and that she is truly unique! I like unique! She is interested in stable (oops) and older (yay) men - though older according to her profile stops at 50. We shall, of course, see...

Got a weird, well surprising, notification from OKC saying that I woman I communicated with a while ago "liked" me. Something to do with their quickmatch system. We had communicated for a few messages - I got the feeling that she wasn't really who she said she was. Something about her use of language made me think she wasn't a native English speaker. Her profile said she was in Watkins Glen, but in her message she said she lived in Texas. Right. Anyway, I sent her another message to see if she had moved...

Second note - a woman from Geneva viewed my profile, but didn't write. She is 39 and didn't have a very fleshed out profile - but enough to make me take a chance (?) and drop her a line. I figure I won't get a response since she looked but didn't initiate.

Feb 6

First thing I did was to write back to a couple of people. For some reason I am awake at 5 in the morning, so I decided to get some writing done. Yay! I think I will also write to a few people on match.com and maybe one on OKC.

By the way, besides these daily notes on notes and daily dating occurrences, I hope to find the time and mental energy to write posts on other aspects of relationships. I have a few posts started and hope to have time next week to flesh them out and post them.

First note - to a woman on OKC. Admittedly, we are not a great match - 56% match, 60% friend and, eeek - 35% enemey! OKC even says that we have issues. She is 42 and lives less than 50 miles away. Why, you ask, am I writing her? G&G. And because her favorite movie is The Princess Bride - as is mine!

Second note - match.com woman - 48 - less than 30 miles away - her desired age range tops out at 50, her profile is not pithy - but she seems like someone who I might like to know better.

Third note - match.com woman - 37 years old - 57 miles away (Ok, I don't really know the exact mileage for any of these people - they don't give out street addresses - which is probably wise) - her age range tops out at 48 (which is pretty reasonable - so I am definitely pushing the envelope a bit) and she would like someone who lives within 30 miles. I guess she lives in a place with a high population density, unlike here in Geneva, NY. I liked her smile.

Maybe (if anyone is out there reading this)(then again, mostly I am doing this for my own amusement and edification) you are wondering why I write so many emails. It is partly a math thing - or rather a statistical thing. Or maybe it is just a gut thing - the scattergun approach. Throwing lots of me out there and hoping that something sticks. Also, check out my post on Ups and Downs. Interaction is one thing I am seeking. Of most any (healthy) kind.

Fourth note - match.com - cool name, 37, not horrendously far away - yet again I am out of her age range but hope springs eternal. Anyway, we really don't have that much in common - but she did mention she liked to play pool. I would love to date or be in a relationship with someone who liked to play pool. So I asked her if there were any good pool places near her. Doubt I will hear.

Fifth Note - see, I am jonesing for communication here - 43 - within walking distance (ok, not really - just trying to think of different distance descriptors) - I don't know what it was about her - perhaps her smile in her profile picture - or a couple of things she said in her profile text, but I thought, why not write. Her top age is 50, though.

I just had an epiphany-let - why I like video/computer games (or games in general). It is because of the interaction. Not necessarily the challenge, the winning or losing, but the give and take that happens, sometimes with another person, sometimes just with a well written AI. Hmm.

Ups and downs

Ups and downs and I can't let them get to me. Life is spiral-like. Not truly cyclical as each revolution is at a different point in time, not the same point of time when it first came to be. And it isn't regular, so maybe spiral isn't the right word. Wave-like for sure. Anyway, for me the secret seems to be to keep even the downs fairly high up. Long time readers have seen my few depression/depressed/depressive posts. I don't get way down easily.

That being said, every day can have its fluctuations. Right now, one thing that drives fluctuations is the status of my inbox. If there are interesting messages from interesting people in there, huzzuh! If not, whatever the opposite of huzzuh is. Anyone? I soldier on, though. Nothing else I can really do. And keep on writing myself. Notes to more people (women). Notes to myself (blogs). My life is full so I can almost always find something to write about. But I crave interaction. And when I don't get it, well, little dips ensue. Teeny ones, actually. Still, dips are dips. This is especially true when I am excited about hearing from someone. Right now there are three someones I am interested in hearing from. Well, four, but the last one doesn't count (as I can not really fathom her writing). So, I will keep writing anyway, and keep checking my inbox. And keep on keeping on...

Feb 5

First note of the day (early - after I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and did some other stuff - like work - sigh) was to a woman on Match.com who showed up in my daily matches. 53 - but another one who wants someone who makes substantial money. Sigh. I think, I am pretty sure, that I have written her before. She lives south of me and seemed interesting - when I say this, what do I mean? I mean that her profile wasn't empty - or didn't have just a few adjectives describing herself - or wasn't a diatribe about what she didn't want - she seemed to have thought about what she was writing and did a good job of piquing my interest. She didn't write back last time, so I am guessing she won't write back this time. Match deletes messages after 30 days automatically. This is a mixed blessing - good because one doesn't have to do much mailbox maintenance - bad because of situations like this, where I think I have written someone but Match doesn't remember that I did...

Second note - match.com - a woman who is 45 and lives less than 50 miles away - and is looking for someone in my age range! (For some reason, I have been thinking that I am 52 - oh, right, because I am - soon to be 53 though. Hmmm) She is letting her pictures do the talking - many posted and not much verbiage - no profile text, no headline text and barely any of the other stuff filled out. This makes me a bit wary that she may not be real. Or just not interested in writing. Hmm.

Third Note - match.com - A new to me woman appeared in my match mail and after sitting on her (not literally - I mean, I had her profile open in a tab) for a day or two, I decided to write. She is 53 - one warning sign - she is "Currently Separated" which is one reason it took me so long to send a message. She lives relatively close by. Her profile was excellently written, full of thoughtful self-observation. And she seemed like a realistic optimist. Actually, looking through her pictures, I think I might have actually written her before. Sigh.

Two other items of note. One - a woman actually wrote me from Match.com: 60 and living less than 50 miles away. Not much there in terms of profile verbiage, but I will certainly write back - actually soon after I post this note.

Two - I had a nice phone call with one of the women with whom I am corresponding. This is noteworthy for a couple of reasons. First, on my part, I don't usually enjoy phone calls. Partly because of the reception (or lack there of) in my house. Partly because if my mom is awake, it confuses her when I talk on the phone. Second, because some people are not as ready to talk on the phone for whatever reason. They keep their phone number a secret for as long as they possibly can, only giving it out when a meeting in person is imminent. I understand there concerns in an academic way as I have not yet had to deal with anyone who has been the least little bit stalkery.

Feb 4

First note was to a woman on match. She is 44 and lives within 100 miles. I just realized that she had put an income desire in her profile. So, I don't expect a note back from her. (She wrote back...)

Second note to another woman on match. 38, I live outside her distance preference and am outside of her age preference - she only wants to go up to 45. Why did I write her? Because she seemed interesting. Doubt I will hear back.

Oh, another reason I wrote - Match's 6 month guarantee - I need to write at least 5 people each month in order to qualify for a second six months free if I haven't found a relationship by the end of the first 6 months. Kind of a weird thing to be striving for. Then again, I am parsimonious and like to get my money's worth.

Third note - to an OKC person - 82% match - 24% friend - 0% enemy - lives less than 40 miles away and seemed like someone I would like to know. Sadly, her top age is 44, so I don't think I will hear back from her.

Feb 3

Notes I wrote February 3

The match match I wrote to had looked at my profile. I know I had looked at hers a couple of times. She lives close by, is 40 and seemed interesting enough to warrant an email. So I sent a few lines, nothing too creative or interesting, just an icebreaker really. I am thinking that she won't respond, but time will tell. One woman wrote me back after a month's delay!

The second email I sent was to a woman on OKC with a basically empty profile. She is 37, lives not too far away and is looking for someone in my age range. She requests "near me" as most people do - but never really clear what that is - since the choices for "near" are up to 200 miles away. Sigh.

Ok, wrote to another woman on OKC. She is 47, lives in Montana and had a quirky, interesting, thoughtful and humorous profile. Our match ratings were 66% Match, 73% Friend and 10% enemy. She said she liked people from anywhere - so there is a decent chance she will write back. We shall see. (She wrote back and we have exchanged a few emails so far...)

And another - this one I am just writing for grins and giggles. Very short profile and she is 38. Our match ratings were 60% match, 80% friend and 18% enemy. Not too shabby. The reason it is for G&G is because her upper age range is only 45. She lives pretty close, in the greater scheme of things.  My message basically reflected some thoughts in her profile and asked a question. I like to ask questions when I write messages. Gives the other person something to answer rather than having to think of conversation on their own. Sometimes it works...

Next message - it is fun to have a day away from the Smith - to a woman on Match.com. I am not sure how match matches people. And it isn't clear how matchful one is. Anyway, she was 47 and a grandmother! Not really all that surprising that she is a grandmother - actually that is about right mathematically (20 years per generation) - she just doesn't look like a grandmother. I don't expect a response because I am older than she is looking for (50) and further than she wants (50 miles). But it doesn't hurt me too much to write a note. Her profile was two sentences. A little warning was that she wrote to instead of too...

Quite a busy day, note wise. 

Wrote five and got one response so far. That is above my average "responses received" rate, I think.

Feb 2

I woke up to find that one of the two women had written back - the one who was nearer. The fact that she wrote back at all is a surprise (as you will see if I am still writing emails by the end of the month - see, there's that "hope springs eternal thing" - hoping that before the end of the month, I will find someone who becomes someone that I am working towards a Relationship with). A pleasantish surprise in this case.

I have rarely received evil and nasty responses to my email messages. Women tell me that they get all sorts of messages - initial ones that run the gamut from thoughtful and interesting to hurtful and disgusting. Weird. The responses to messages I initiate tend to be one of three - thank you but no. Hello back. And Yay, yes please! (The last is really rare...)

In this case, it was the first response. Because we lived too far apart (three hour drive one way). Understandable and not too upsetting. At least she wrote back and said I was interesting. Yay. But we did connect on Facebook and we might actually be e-friends. We shall see.

Feb 1

I got on OKC and checked out some profiles. I saw a few that piqued my interest, so I decided I would check them out a little more after I was a little more awake. I like to check profiles twice before I write - just because. I had forgotten that OKC likes to do this thing at the beginning of each month - they change one's search filters to "located anywhere" "Online Now" and some random age setting of their own devising. So it turns out that the first one I liked turned out to live in CA. Now one of my pet peeves about OKC is that they don't automatically do reverse matching - in other words, they don't check to see if I happen to match some of their criteria for who they are looking for. This is good, because I can write to whomever I desire. It is bad, because, sadly, most people I am interested in, aren't looking for me.

This particular woman lived in CA and was looking for some one "near me." But I wrote her anyway. Oh, a little more about her - she was 34 but was looking for people 24-54, so I fit that criterion. And I fit the others as well, except for "near me" bit. OKC says that she replies selectively (not very selectively). She also rated 68% match, 73% Friend and 24% Enemy.

I also wrote to another woman whose match rating was 77% match, 79% friend and 4%. She lived a bit nearer - but probably not near enough to entertain the thought of dating. Three hour drive one way is a longish way unless people are really, really motivated. The thing that made me think that she might not mind that much, is that she said she likes meeting new people. We shall see if anything comes of this message.

So, two messages written February first, despite a really, really full day at work. Yippee!

Relationship Blog - A Month (more or less) in dating

Hi. My name is Augustus and I might very well be a blogaholic - and perhaps a date-aholic. Or maybe a relationship-aholic. Or maybe an aholiic-aholic. I love adding -aholic to things. Don't know why. Just do. Where was I? Oh, yeah...

I have decided to document my attempts at finding a romantic relationship over the course of the next month as best as I can. Of course, I might just find one, and then, well, who knows. I might document that. We shall see. I do know that I put a lot of time and effort into the search for a significant other. So I might as well put a little bit more in and document what I am doing. Joy and rapture!

I have been mostly single off and on since my divorce in 1991. I don't know if I was really in a romantic relationship then, either, but it passed for one. Between then and now, I have dated a bunch and have had some monogamous romantic relationships, none of which lasted much more than a year. For what those relationships were, they were great. I am happy to have met all the people I have met, been with all the people I have been with and grateful for the opportunity to experience the experiences I have experienced. I would, though, really like to sink into a nice, long meaningful romantic relationship/partnership.

Given my history, though, is this a realistic hope? Maybe I am not wired for having long term romantic relationships. Then again, maybe I have just made choices that have led me to have shorter relationships and different choices will lead to different results. I was with my wife for most of four years and that has been my longest relationship. Ever. My work life mirrors this issue - I have never really been in a given job for more than 5 years. Hmm, maybe not more than three years...

Still, hope springs eternal

During the course of the next month (at least), I plan to write about my thoughts and feelings and actions in regards to relationships. I will do my best to be as straightforward and honest as possible, without causing undue consternation by anyone who might be referenced here. Part of me would love to post links to the various people to whom I will be referring, but that might be going a little overboard. Then again, if anyone is really curious, I might be willing to provide links to their profiles upon request. In direct email. I mean heck, their privacy is already somewhat compromised from them placing their profiles on the internet, right?

By the way, as some of you may know, I have a draft (not finished by a long stretch) of a relationship book lying around in my room somewhere. I think it is a good, insightful, honest book and should be out in the world. So, if anyone knows someone who would like to collaborate on it (in other words, work on it with me for free and share profits if there are ever any), please send them my way. Or if you know a nice woman...Or both.