Feb 22

I like that I started on Feb 1 so I know how many days I have been documenting my relationship search and efforts and experiences. Here we are, day 22. There are lots of tabbed people and I have all day off from the Smith. Yay!

I am going to start with the OKC tabs first - then do at least one or two match tabs. And right now there are 7 POF tabs - most of them will be for G&G. It is all about numbers, people!

But before that - I do want to point out that I made a couple of relationship observations in my Life and Such blog. One about "Her Loss" and one about, hmm, something else that my sleepy brain can't come up with without looking. And the last thing I want to do is artificially bump up the number of views a posts get. When I break 50 views, I am so happy, until I realize that 35 of those are me...Ok, I looked. It was about the relationship magnets that authors are supposed to be. Ha.

First Note - G&G - Cause she is in Canada. Sigh. Anyway, OKC woman - 74, 81, 14 (Good things those aren't her measurements! Eeek!!) (Match, Friend, Enemy) Oh, 47 by the way. And if it weren't for me knowing that she will not be interested (reverse magic works occasionally, otherwise I wouldn't use it...) I would rate her on my p-crush scale. But I am trying to do that. Heartache, especially self inflicted (which, actually, most heart ache is in any case), isn't fun. Trying to be unattached...Wrote a great note if I must say so myself.

Wrote a second note to a woman who I wrote to, who visited my profile but didn't choose to write back. She is also in Canada and TDP. Ok, I also sent a note telling her how attractive she was. Whatever.

So that second note, wasn't my second note - though it was - my second note is to an OKC woman who is 53 and lives in NYC - 86% Match 79% Friend 7% Enemy (Ha, copy and paste worked on the percentages - one never knows with web stuff how a copy and paste will work...) - definitely liked her profile - but this is G&G as no real woman from NYC has ever written back with a positive - Let's try this - sort of note. I wrote her a very nice note. Maybe I am getting better at writing notes. Though great notes don't seem to make my reply percentage go up at all...

Third note - which is actually my fifth in some ways - but my third in notes to new to me people - was to an OKC woman in NYC who is 53 - 94% Match 81% Friend 8% Enemy. I will, whenever the woman is at least moderately attractive physically (yes, I am a physical-ist) write to someone regardless of location when the percentages are like this. She wants regular contact - and if she means physical contact in real time in real space, then for sure she won't write back a "heck, I'm game" note. Another good note - sometimes I worry that I will send a good note to a person whose profile was appealing, only to hear back and have "reaching out-ers regret" when they actually write back. So far, hasn't happened. But it is a worry...(She wrote and distance was the excuse.)

Fourth note - definitely G&G - this woman looked at my profile and didn't write - 81% Match 76% Friend 22% Enemy - 45 years old - lives in a different country (neighbor to the North) She says she is highly attracted to intelligence. I have some of that. Her profile was good, not great - too many little errors make for a bit of a red flag - but that could be haste or just laziness (neither of which are bad in moderation)(I could be accused of both of them at times) - 81% Match 76% Friend 22% Enemy - her photo also looks, I don't know, like a professional photo - not candid. Hmm. I wrote a decent note. She did view me first and she did say "located anywhere" so who knows. Maybe I will get at least a little decent conversation from her. That would be nifty. (Well, she wrote back once and actually asked a question - maybe I will have a dialogue with her)(Nah, not likely...)

Just now I had another thought - one which seems pretty obvious now - one's fears about the other person are just the inverse of one's own insecurities. That being said, I don't really believe that I am insecure about these things - I am, though, aware of them as potential areas of discongruity. 

Here is a relationship story not related to dating sites. I have a friend (yes, I know, a little shocking) and this friend has a Facebook Page. And on her facebook page, she has her friends. Well, one of those friends posted a comment on something and from the thumbnail, I thought I would like to see a large image of her. So I clicked through to her the friend's friend's page. I must admit to a bit of an immediate e-crush. I mentioned this to my friend and we will see what happens from there. Meanwhile, I got to thinking - I do that way too much sometimes - and here is what my sour grapes mentality came up with before we have even communicated (if that should even happen (should in the future sense, not the "ought to" sense)): 
she is too young, 
too pretty, 
too far away, 
not intelligent enough 
and not experienced enough to be someone who is attracted to me. 

What this might mean is that I think 
I am too old (which I am, I guess, though my age doesn't bother me - especially since I feel like I am 20 years younger than my physical age most of the time), 
not handsome enough (that is totally subjective - I have my moments of thinking that I am really, really handsome - other moments of "eww, what is that in the mirror" - other moments of - my hair and beard might be unappealing to some etc.) (Overall, I think I am above average in looks...) 
too far away (distance, I really believe, is in the mind. And circumstances change. Either of us could move - both of us could move - in the meantime there are modes of transportation and pretty amazing communication technologies to help bridge that gap until such time that the physical distance between us is minimized) 
too damn smart for my own good (nothing to do about this - I think I am pretty smart and find that most people just don't seem as smart as I am) (there are though, other kinds of intelligence and smarts - and finding someone smart - how important is that really in my desire to be in a relationship - which reminds me of a woman I met yesterday...but that is not for this part of the blog...)
too experienced (and finding someone who has had anywhere near as many as excellent experiences as I have is definitely a challenge) to find someone who will love me for who I am.

I have to face it that I am a pretty damn intimidating package. :)

So, yesterday, I met or at least interacted with two women, both of whom were attractive to me in very different ways. Two vastly different ages, looks, personalities, jobs etc. Will I follow up with either of them? Doubtful. But it was fun doing the flirting, for sure! (Ok, honestly, I mostly flirted with one, the other, I just thought about flirting with her..) 

Fifth Note - Match woman who is 48 - looking for a next door neighbor who is her age. Despite having a length profile I didn't really get much of a sense of who she is. I did get the feeling that she wouldn't be interested in me - I am not conservative enough. We shall of course, see. Not my best message effort.  

Sixth Note - Match woman who is 45 and apparently likes the Finger Lakes - a lot! Yay! I liked her profile, but again, I didn't get much of a sense of her particularly. I wonder if it is my eyes or just the people I am choosing to write to today. Sent an ok note.