April 2

Wow, April has flown past! Um...

I have a couple of tabs open and will send a couple of notes today. Kinda burned out after the big note day yesterday.

First note - 40 year old POF woman - very short, basically empty profile asking us to ask her anything - and to tell her what a perfect first date would be like. I said - well - here this is what I said -

"Well, there is a perfect date and a perfect first meeting and I believe those to be two very, very different things. A perfect date takes into account who both people are - and since I don't know you, I could only make up some fantasy date that might or might not appeal. For one person, a romantic candlelit dinner in the 7th arrondisement might be perfect. For someone else, a picnic lunch on a cliff overlooking the ocean might be more apt.

As for a first meeting - I think getting together to chat would be a pretty good way to start."

How's that?

Second note - 50 year old Match woman - again with the short profile - but there is something about her that piques my interest...

Third note - 47 year old POF woman who is a musician and a driver. Hmm. Not too far away.

April 1

I don't generally do the April Fool's thing - it takes too much thought and effort to come up with something clever. And I don't usually plan too far in advance. Which is why I also would not be good at the whole revenge thing...

Fact - I have 8 open tabs - 6 are Match.com and 2 are POF. One is a woman I have written before so I won't say more about her than that. So, seven open tabs...

First letter - match.com 38 year old - I live within her circle of passion, er, desire, er distance - but am too old - so I fear this is G&G - still, worth a shot, right?

Second letter - POF 38 year old who lives in NY State - very short profile - succinct even. But because of the distance - and probably age - I doubt I will hear back. Who am I kidding? There is no way in hell. I don't think anyone has written back in months! Ok, that is a slight exaggeration, but not far off the mark...

Third Letter - 44 year old POF woman not too far away - again, a very brief profile - letting her pics do the heavy lifting - dropped her a decent note.

Fourth letter - 49 year old Match.com woman - not a long distance away - I am even within her age limit! Wow! She looked at my profile and didn't write - which is probably a bad sign - but I believe in taking the bull by the born, damning the torpedoes and all that crap. Ok, I don't really, but I thought I would write her on the off chance that she is one.four in a thousand...

Fifth letter - 42 year old who match woman - I don't live in her circle of preference - but I do match her age. Sadly she is looking for a "MAN" which I take to mean a GQ model with lots of money. I am only a man - a moderately handsome guy who gets by. And I don't eat car parts and poop gold. She says she wants Funny - I have said this elsewhere - I call bullshit. Most women say this and then just about anything else trumps that desire. How do you know someone is funny if you don't communicate with them? I can be funny - even when writing - if given the opportunity. Humor, for me, needs to be tailored to the audience. Humor is not generic - generally...

Closed the next tab - getting towards profile burnout for the morning...

Sixth letter - 47 year old woman match woman - within her distance and age range (for another week)(age that is) - though she likes boating and skiing - two activities in which I rarely participate - the last time I went skiing was in high school - and it was cross country - and I don't really like the water - why - you may ask, am I writing. Who the heck knows at this point? Flinging spaghetti at the fridge and seeing if it sticks, I guess...I made a funny, I think - though it might be too obscure for her - she said she wanted someone driven - I said I didn't have a chauffeur. Tee hee?

Seventh letter - a 45 year old match - older than the 50 she is looking for - her profile sounded a little bitter and jaded - but I really liked her handle and was curious what she meant by it. Will I hear back? Hahahahaha. Ha.

And that's all for now - tabs all closed. Time for a nap.

March 31

I have a bunch of open tabs - 9 it looks like - now, I think I am just making a point. That most women either don't really want a relationship or at least don't want a relationship with me. Which, mathematically makes sense, of course. Still, it is frustrating...

First letter was to a woman who lives in Toronto - 40 years old - on ok Cupid - 65% Match and 15% enemy - so not really a great match - she just appealed - but I am sure it was jut G&G for me.

Second letter to an empty profile with a picture - G&G.

Maybe I should make it a contest - see who can guess how many messages I can write before I get a positive response. By positive response, I mean something that is intended to further communication and the process of getting to know another person. Fear not, I wouldn't throw the competition by writing a lot of bad emails. G&Gs for sure, as I just feel the need to write and to be doing something. I think I might be close to 30 now...

And OK Cupid tabs are responsible for eating my computer's memory. Poo on them. Lesson mostly learned - if I see an OKC person, write them and close the tab immediately

March 30

6 open tabs - two of them are the women who "liked" my pictures - I will start with writing them.

First one - 49 year old match.com living not far away - only one picture and a very short profile - not the best note - but it is easier when I have more to work with.

I wish I had kept track of how many women in their profiles say that they want someone who is funny or humorous (ok, few use that long a word) or can make them laugh. I think all of these are different from someone who is fun. I am certainly funny. How "fun" I am is a more serious question. I don't really think I am all that "fun." Not in general at least...

Second note - 57 year old match woman - looking for someone fun - likes motors - lives near NYC - so definitely G&G.

Third Note - 47 year old match woman not a great distance - she didn't want games so my subject was "No Monopoly?!" - And the note went downhill from there. :)

Fourth note - 46 year old match woman who also lives within fairly easy driving distance - we seem matched on the surface - her profile sounds as if it was written by someone with not a great command of English - though nowhere does it mention that she isn't American. I am guessing she isn't from around here. :) No, I am not being racist. I am being a linguist...

Two notes to p-crushes to whom I have written before and didn't hear back. I don't expect different results. But if I don't try, well, I won't have tried. Right? I thought they were two great notes. I am not going to hold my breath though...much as I would hope that would work and that would cause them to write. I will admit that it has worked once - and that didn't work out as planned. She turned out to be fairly uninteresting after all. Everything happens. :) What a surprise, one of them looked but didn't write. Sigh.

Fifth Note - 37 year old OK Cupid woman - blank profile, no questions answered - looks like she is Russian - though she lives in Dresden, NY (according to OK Cupid) She hasn't been online since Feb 2 - so my guess it is a fake profile. Sigh.

Sixth Note - 53 year old match.com woman - seemed very interesting - she read my message but hasn't bothered to write. Sigh.

I try and try and try not to get excited about people and their profiles. But I find it hard to do that. And when they don't write - which is so close to every time that it bears no mentioning - I just can't help but feel a smidge frustrated.

March 29

Wow, the month is nearly over. And I have been at this for nearly two months. Eeek! Time flies when, well, it just flies.

I have three open tabs - all are grins and giggles messages - two want men younger than I am (physically) and one wants a GQ model sugar daddy. But, I am a glutton for non-responses. I just can't seem to get enough of them! :)

One of them, though, is a woman I wrote to before and didn't respond. This time will be...the same, I am sure. I don't think I am even in the same universe as she is.

First note - OK Cupid 36 year old woman who just caught my eye - nothing scintillating about her profile or pictures - I just liked her vibe - 76% Match - 10% Enemy - definitely G&G.

Two women have liked my photos. What the heck does that mean? According to the last time - one will say she has already found someone and the other send me a thanks but no thanks message. Well, we will see what happens with them tomorrow. 

March 27

I have posted a take on a new profile text. Maybe it is too dry? So far, no one has commented on it. Poop.

First note - 40 year old Match woman - I don't think we are a match - so G&G.

Second Note - 44 year old Match woman - who I think is great - teeny p-crush - sadly she wants someone who lives 10 miles away. Sigh. Doubt I will hear anything positive back (reverse magic works 1 in 10,000 times!).

Third note - 40 year old match woman - only wants someone up to fifty. Sigh. A decent, not great note.

March 26

Only three open tabs - and I don't know if I want to write them before I put up my new profile or not. Probably will - hesitate and you are lost, lost, lost I tell you! Lost!!

First note - 52 year old POF woman with a brief profile - her complaining filled more than her description - no rudeness and half naked (or more) pictures apparently. (She wrote back with one word - Hello - how helpful is that?!? Well, at least she wrote back...)

Second Note - 51 POF year old woman with two pugs apparently - I am tempted to write more and more descriptive about these women - but I won't. Sigh. My note started well and fizzled at the end. Poo.

Third note - 53 year old POF woman - I just thought her profile sounded interesting -

Fourth note - This is the one I am most interested in - in the ones I had open - Match.com - 43 but only looking for someone up to 50 - I wonder if women put this knowing that some men will write them no matter what - or expecting that men a few years older will still write. Who knows?!

March 25

Bazillions of open tabs and my browser and computer are moving glacially slowly. Sigh. Gotta close a bunch of them. Soon. Maybe at lunch time - busy Smith day today.

I really should close the OK Cupid pages first - they are the ones that eat the most memory - all the ads (since it is a "free" site). But no, I can't do anything logical - I will write to a POF person or three.

First note - I will readily admit that I am more apt to write to a woman whose photos appeal than to a woman whose photos don't appeal - or to a woman who has chosen not to post pictures for whatever reason. Funny thing about this one - she says she is a fiesty red head but her one picture shows someone raven haired - and she isn't enamored of men who live with their moms. So I doubt, one again, that I will hear back. 44 POF woman - lives not horrendously far away - ok note. Does anyone want me to post the notes I write?

Second note - 49 year old POF woman - not too far - decent note.

Third note - OK Cupid woman - 38 - 94% Match, 8 % Enemy - Lives too far away and is too young - I just wrote her a G&G note - telling her how wonderful she was.

Closed two match.com tabs because I just didn't feel especially motivated to write them right now.

Fourth Note - OK Cupid Woman - 40 - 94% match 4% enemy - Too far away again - so another G&G note extolling her virtues - if people won't swell my head, I will swell theirs!

Fifth note - OK cpupid woman - 36 - Total grins and giggles since she is a 52% match and 51% enemy. What the hell am I thinking?

I was only writing till midnight - and that time has been reached. Closed six other tabs - just because I couldn't be bothered...

March 23

I got another picture like - I will write her - even though we don't seem like a good match - she loves ice hockey. But you never know, right? - Ok, I wrote her. Now, will it be 1) a canned Thanks but no thanks, 2) a note saying no thank you, 3) no response at all or 4) a response saying, what the heck, let's try this... (She chose option 3)

First note - 59 Match.com woman near Cortland - wow, seems like she is full of vigor. I dropped her a fairly boring note - she wanted passion and I didn't send her much.

Second note - 62 year old match woman - not that far away - she doesn't want someone as young as I am - but I liked her profile so wrote her anyway.

Lots of open tabs - but most of the notes would be for G&G - live too far for them, too old for them, that sort of thing. Sigh.

March 22

The month marches on. I have two tabs open. One of them I think I have written to before and I believe she never wrote back. But I will write her again since she showed up in some mailing from Match.com...

First note - Match woman who was 51. I wrote her a decent note.

Second note - OK Cupid woman - 43 lives in CA - I am outside her age range and distance range. I just enjoyed her profile and pictures and wrote her a lovely, lovely note. At least I think it was lovely. I am still asleep. Zzzzzzz I must admit to a teeny p-crush on her.

March 21

First thing I did was respond to one of the women who had liked my photo and then responded to me saying thank you, but no thank you. I still don't get why on earth you would like someone's photo only to then say no to getting to know them better. Whatever. People are strange.

First note - Match woman who is 40 - only wants someone up to 50 - but I wrote anyway - probably G&G - but I loved the energy she showed in her pictures and in her short profile (anything under 200 words is short in my book...)

Second Note - March woman who is 52 but only wanted someone 30 miles away - I think as the crow flies I am 37 miles away from her stated address. I sent her an ok note.

Third note - Grins and Giggles to a POF woman who's handle said something like "great hair." 52. I think. Not a match at all. 18 typos and mistakes in her 20 word profile text. And she likes country music primarily - a clear sign that we would not get along in this world...

March 20

Spring has sprung, at least officially. The weather man hasn't been told, though...

More notes. Yay! Also trying to finish up a post about a not successful internet relationship. One of many, sadly. More successful than some, less successful than others...

First note - POF - slight p-crush on her. 50 and lives in the next town over (sort of). Short but well written profile. Hopes are high, which will mean a lower low when I get no response. But my lows are still pretty high, generally. Except when they aren't.

I have 11 tabs open. Eeek! How does that happen?

Second note - Match - 44 living not far away - brief profile - but I got a conservative vibe from her. Someone said, I think Anne Coulter (ick), that most hot women were Republican. Could she be right?

Closed the next tab - 9 to go -

Third note - Match - 49 year old - living within a decent circle - not very long profile and again I got a conservative vibe. Maybe as women get older they generally get more conservative? Eeeek!

Fourth Note - Match - 42 - another little p-crush - whenever I have one of those -which is about one in 50 profiles I think - I am more reluctant to write that first note. Sigh.

Fifth Note - Match 51 - Not that far away - she was interested in men up to 70! Go her! My note was not awesome - but it was ok enough, I hope.

Sixth note - 44 year old POF woman in a city I have heard of but am not exactly sure where it is. Oh, there it is - not that far away at all...

Seventh note - 48 year old POF woman - very near by - but the name of the city is misspelled. I wonder how that happened. Weird. Not a lot of pith to her profile...

Eighth note - 42 year old POF woman - I just saw her pic and clicked on her - four word profile. I might have to change mine to be short - Great guy looking for great gal/woman. Maybe I will get more responses. True, most of them would probably be unlikely candidates, but still...

Closed another tab. I don't know why, but I got the impression she was a smoker, even though she didn't say she was...not that I won't date smokers, but if I don't have to, I would rather not.

And closed the last tab. I might reopen hers again sometime, but right now, I am not feeling it...

Two women liked photos of mine - so I am going to write them. The chances are maybe 50-50 that they will write back...

Ninth Note - 46 year old woman who lives down near NYC - She had a nice profile - I wrote  a nice note. (She sent some sort of automated message saying she had recently found someone and wanted to see where that went.)

Tenth Note - 53 year old who lives not too far away - Great profile - very clear - not sure we will hit it off since she seems more fitness oriented than I am, but you never know...(She sent a message saying she didn't want a long distance relationship.)

Ok, that just is weird. Why like people's pictures and when they write, blow them off. Sigh. Whatever, at least they both "responded!"

March 19

Open tabs, open tabs, open for a day - Oh what fun it is to write a couple notes. Olé... (Sung to a popular Christmas time tune...)

First note - to an OK Cupid woman who is 52 - apparently OKC has done away with listing the friend quotient - so - 62% Match - 16% Enemy - not the best, but not too terrible either - I miss the friend %...I don't expect to hear back from her.

Second note - another OK Cupid woman - she is 56 - 77% Match - 17% Enemy - although she lives in PA, she says she is interested in meeting people from Anywhere. And although I live somewhere (Geneva, specifically) I hope that will not be an issue... :) (She looked but didn't write)

Third Note - OK Cupid woman who looked at my profile (I think I looked at hers awhile ago) - and didn't write - so I wrote her. 88% Match 14% Enemy 38 and lives not too far away. I wrote her a funny note - but didn't ask any questions...

Fourth note - OK Cupid - 51 - lives in PA so, not all that near. I looked at her profile long and hard, despite a not good % - 50% Match - 24% Enemy - I was very tempted to write. She then looked at my profile, so I wrote her. Take that! Bazinga!

Fifth note- Match - 43 year old not far away - Thoughtful profile - looking for hard working though - is that another code word for conservative?

Got a random message from a 28 year old in hawaii saying I was cute - yet, OK Cupid didn't show her as a visitor. And she had no profile picture. I wrote back - because, well, I like to get the last word (not always, but whenever possible) and said hi in a funny way. I bet she is a scam or not real or both.

Sixth note - Match 35 year old woman who appeared in my match mail - we are not a match - she wants someone as old as 38. Sigh. I wrote her anyway - G&G. 

Seventh note - Match 48 - she looked at my profile but didn't write. I don't think that means much as I find that few women initiate communication with me. Or with anyone in general. Perhaps I am mistaken about that...(She sent me a canned "No Thanks" note. Her loss.)

Eighth note - POF - 43 year old woman but too far away is my guess. I wrote her a note anyway. Quite a captivating smile...

 

 

 

March 18

Sincerely doubting I will write any new messages today.

Well, so much for that. I did write a note - to a match woman 44 - living within striking distance - and I am within her age parameters. She seemed a bit too into things I don't like to be a match, but one never knows. Maybe auto racing/motocross really isn't that big a deal to her...

So many women put a priority on financial stability. Sigh. I know it is probably genetic. Wanting to feel secure (not gold digging). Still, I always balk when it comes to writing to people who value money so much that they put it in their profile at least once (usually two or three times).

Second note - Plenty of Fish - 39 years old - lives about an hour away - doubting she is a fit or will write back in any case, but what the heck, right?

Third Note - Plenty of Fish - 47 year old - not too far - says she is a preppie hippy chick - so maybe I will actually get a response. Nah...

I actually got a very nice note from a woman who I wrote for Grins and Giggles. True, she wasn't interested in getting to know me across the semi-vast distance, but still. That was positive reinforcement. Yay.

March 17

Interesting thing happened. Last night, after a beer (um), I wrote quite a few unexpurgated, perhaps even vituperative (yes, I went there) thoughts. Notes I would like to write to women - about them and their profiles, about their lack of responses, about reasons they might be alone, etc. Of course, I also reflected a bit and wonder if I shared in their issues and that that was part of the reason I am not in a relationship. Then I went to save the post. It closed ok. When I opened it up again, most of the new stuff had been magically erased. Which is probably a good thing. Doesn't mean I didn't think it or write it. Just means that it probably shouldn't have been written for the masses (so far, only 4 people seem to be consistently reading this blog - so much for stealth blogging)

Sent my first note to one of three women who appeared in my daily match letter from Match.com - all three are in my age range, but they all want men who are only at most 50. Sigh. So, an exercise in grinning and giggling, I guess. Just what I need, notes to hone my message writing skills. The first was 45 and wanted someone only 25 miles away - her profile was really bare bones. I think she was letting her picture do the heavy lifting...

Second note to a woman suggested by match after I sent the first note. She was 50 and also wants someone who is her neighbor. What is up with that? Anyway, I sent her a nice note...

Third note - 49 year old match woman who again, wants someone who is only 50 and lives next door. What is going on here? Nice profile - only one picture, though.

Oh, I was thinking of putting up a picture from each decade that I have lived. Maybe that would be a selling point. I am also thinking of redoing my profiles  - leaving out all mention of my current situation on focusing on funny and full of life. Which I am. Sort of. On a good day. Which happens about once every four months...

Fourth note - 51 year old woman match who wants men who are at most 50. Sigh.

Fifth note - 46 year old match woman who is actually looking for me! At least that's how I interpret her profile...

I closed a couple of tabs and decided not to write one woman on OK Cupid - she lived in Canada and although I have had some people write me back from there - the percentages are even lower with women North of the border.

All I really want to say to all of these women to whom I write and who don't write back is, well, not polite. So I won't write it. But I think it. Vehemently. With prejudice. And soy sauce.

Sometimes, there are people I hope will write back. Those are the ones that cause my heart the most stress. Which isn't a lot, but it isn't nothing...

Match - 49 years old - within our mutual distance desires - Yes, I am taller than she says she wants - but I can slouch, can't I?

March 16

This feeling rarely comes and when it does it goes fairly quickly.

Last night I got a bit, not depressed, that isn't the word. Hmm, let me explain how I felt and maybe that will get me to the word. I was working at a concert at The Smith. By the way, I have had this feeling before, and I might have written about it, so if this is all repetitive, oh well. I feel like I need to write this again. This is after all a way for me to get my thoughts and feelings out while also making me believe I am doing something creative, fighting entropy and indolence in my own little way...

Where was I? Oh, yes, at the Smith. I can't remember if The ought to be capitalized, or Not. I am thinking it ought to be, yes, digressing...

All theses people, many of whom were women. Lots of couples. Some people I knew, others I had seen before, lots of new to me people. And I couldn't tell, from a glance or two, who I thought was attractive in a potentially romantic partner sort of way. I had doubts that I would ever be able to find someone with whom to share a part of our lives. I couldn't figure out if any effort I made was going to make any difference. Ennui perhaps? But stronger than that. More of a sense of futility and forlornness. But nothing that made me want to crawl under a rock and putrefy. And it passed. Mostly. I did a bit of smile therapy - tried to look and force a feeling of enjoying myself into my body - and it worked. Mostly.

I think it was finally coming down from a smoothie induced natural sugar high. (Ok, I don't really, though I do know that my mood is often affected by the food I eat (or don't eat).) And I know who I blame for that...

See, I do feel better - even better today. Hope is, once again, springing from despair!

First note - I didn't think I would actually send any notes today - but I got over that feeling - OKC  45 - too far away so G&G - 85% Match 70% Friend 13% Enemy

Second note - POF - 50 year old - lives in Brooklyn but didn't seem to be interested in someone just near to her. Anyway, very appealing profile. I think I wrote an excellent note. 

March 15

I am going to see how many notes/tabs I can handle in an hour. It is 9 now, by ten, how many? Any guesses?

First note - POF - 42 year old just on the edge of her distance limit - I think this is G&G because she looks very, very conservative - and she rides motorcycles - which in and of itself isn't a bad thing - but it isn't something I do, so...

Second note - POF - 43 not too far - short profile - which gives me not a lot to work with - but I managed a decent note. When there isn't much there, I make use of the handle (the user name) if I can to make the note more interesting. This one ranked about a six on the Augustus note scale.

I was thinking of writing one woman who seemed interesting, until I looked at some of the pictures she had posted - she was looking for the Marlboro man sort - not me by a good measure! So, closed that tab...

Third note - Match - 50 year old - honestly, not all that excited about this note, but she "liked" my profile and that deserves a note, don't you think? And who knows, right? At least that is my philosophy when I write and "like" others. So, turn about is fair play. That is so funny! The woman must have liked one of my pictures or something and didn't read my profile. And then she sent a "no thanks" canned message in response to my nice note. Wow! And Phew!

I commented on a picture of a woman on Match to whom I had sent a message (and surprisingly didn't hear back...) a while ago - the picture was obviously from some St. Patrick's Day event - so I told her about the Town Pants.

Fourth Note - POF - 47 year old woman who put a list of likes and dislikes as her profile - interesting choice - nothing at all about who she was looking for - unless it is someone whose microwave is sparkling clean is an indication of something...

Fifth note - POF - this one is definitely a G&G - I am guessing it is a straight up fake profile - it says she is 43 and then in the body of the message she says she is 34 - her pictures all look as if they were done professionally - like a model - and she is model pretty. Her profile seems a little too pat. She misused "your" (should have been you're). I don't know - and of course, I do not expect an answer...Not the best note - but I am sure it is better than most of the blathering drooling messages the profile is undoubtedly getting...

Closing a tab is not like not responding to an email. There was an initial attraction but upon some contemplation, I decided that I didn't want to write her, for whatever reason. In this particular case, I just got the feeling that I wasn't her type - which doesn't always stop me from writing - but this time it did.

One question I sometimes ask is "Where would you most like to travel?" I think, when it gets answers - which is, obviously, rarely - shows a good insight into the person. If they say Cancun or an island or something - we probably aren't a good match. I will travel to those places, just not top of my list. If they say someplace European, that says one thing. Asian, another. African, a third. South American - well, that's where I want to visit, so, yay!

Sixth note - POF - 46 - Not a long ways away - she says she has crazy hair - I like crazy hair - good length, informative profile. I do worry a bit about people who are looking for "generous" significant others...

Seventh Note - POF - 35 living too far away - definitely G&G. - Well, that solves that - I didn't fit her hidden criteria - probably too old and too far away. Whatever. It was a nice note, too...

Seventh Note - POF - 48 living too far away - I am writing her because she looks like a woman who an acquaintance of mine knows. G&G for sure...

I wrote to a woman who has looked at my profile at least twice. She said she wanted someone who would make her smile - and I had to have done that or she wouldn't have looked at my profile. But she didn't write - so making her smile wasn't enough to warrant a message. Next.

And that's all I wrote - I closed six tabs - three match and three POF - just because I didn't feel like writing them at this time. If they pop back into my radar, maybe I will. But seven in 40 minutes will have to suffice.

I think I would rather find a good pen pal than find people who were icky when I actually met them.

Oops, checked my mail and realized that someone else had also liked my picture - so I sent them a note - does that count as a message to a new person? Kinda, sorta, I guess.

March 14

Lots of open tabs again. Sigh. I must admit to some reluctance to keep bashing my head against this wall. But I keep thinking how nice it will be when I can eventually stop. And, honestly, it gives me something to do. Yes, taking care of my mom and working at the Smith both take up time, and daily, weekly, and monthly home and personal maintenance take up time. As do other funner activities that I do sometimes (juggle, play piano, play xBox, read, write (oh, look, I'm writing now!) use minutes in a day. And they are all valid uses of my time. I would, though, I think and believe, like to be in a real, happy, healthy long term relationship. And unless I happen into a woman at The Smith - or a traveling sales person (hmm, would I really have lots in common with someone who was a traveling sales person) knocks on the door, I believe that expanding my surface area by continuing to send out message after message, reaching out to all and sundry, just might make me feel like I am making a true effort in finding a life partner.

I posed a question on my status line on FB about being in a relationship with someone who dictated who your friends could be. I limited it to FB, but that sort of behavior has been happening throughout time. I, of course, am of the opinion that if someone told me that I couldn't be friends with so and so or else, then I might very well choose not to be in the relationship. Love, which we hope is the basis of a relationship, is, to me, about acceptance - which also encompasses respect and trust. I accept my love, my partner, as they are - which means I respect their choices and trust that they are doing the best they can for themselves. And if that includes being friends with someone that I think is not in their best interest, I might mention my belief to them, but not "forbid" them to have anything to do with that person. Once I have shared my thoughts, I can then re-think our own relationship. Maybe the person I am in a relationship isn't the best person for me to be with.

First note - G&G since our match percentages are messed up (OK Cupid - 45 - not far sort of) 50% Match 37% Friend 32% Enemy - eek actually... All she had for most of her answers was "sex sleep eat drink dream" Sigh.

Second Note - Probably also G&G because she lives in Canada - but nothing ventured... - 40 and 74% Match 45% Friend 7% Enemy - Short and sweet and clear profile! Going for a slightly humorous note. Wish me luck! - She said distance was an issue. Lame. Whatever. I wrote her a note I always mean to ask - especially when I have written a decent note - which I did in her case - which is "Does she receive notes that are twice as good from people half the distance away?" I sincerely doubt it...She responded that she was new and that mine was the best so far! Maybe mine was the only one. Who knows? Still, it is somewhat reassuring to hear that I give good notes!

Next note - I don't remember if this is a first note or not. I remember this woman and am not sure if I put fingers to keys for her before - I think I did - but I can't recall. Oh well. Damn match for not keeping track of all messaging history! Glarp even. 

Third Note - Match 45 - probably G&G because I get a conservative vibe from her - and because she only wants someone 50. Age is just a number is a mantra I often here...Anyway, she lives almost next door in a relative sort of way. My note was nice, but not great. 

Fourth Note - Match 37 - not far - but the age is wrong - and again I get the conservative vibe. So I sent a G&G note. 
 

March 13

Too far? Really? That's an excuse for not getting to know someone? Personally, I think it is a lame excuse. People used to get to know each other through snail mail across continents and oceans. And these people think that 200 miles is too far? No wonder they aren't in a relationship. God knows I would be thrilled to find someone in my town, within walking distance. It hasn't happened - it could, but it hasn't. Until then, I am happy to get to know anyone anywhere - because life is short and why say "no." That is just fear talking and I try not to buy into fear whenever possible.

This diatribe is because several times people have said that they don't want to get to know me because I live too far from them. It could be the actual reason, and if it is, well, I guess we really weren't compatible and best of luck to them. I will give anyone the opportunity to convince me that they ought to be a part of my life - even when I think they aren't someone I think would be a positive factor in my existence. Why not? What have I got to lose except for a little time and energy? Energy I have in abundance, and time? Who knows, I might pop off tomorrow or they (whoever they might be and if they decide to share it with the hoi polloi) might discover the key to eternal life in my lifetime.

Wrote a note to a woman on OK Cupid - 43 living not so very far away. I liked her profile and it seemed we have many similar tastes. Will she write, or won't she? Time will tell...She looked and didn't write. Yet. I have had people who took a month to write. What that is about is anyone's guess. I just write them off mentally if they look and don't respond at that point.

March 12

I would love to be surprised by someone actually writing me back. That would be nifty, in fact. I do realize that part of the problem lies in the fact that I write to people who aren't interested in me. But my question is - how do they know? A profile is just a profile after all - and isn't the real person. No chances, no quarter is given - ay matey? Arrr. I feel like making the little hook finger gesture and looking for a parrot on my shoulder.

The first note - POF - 43 year old - not far - calls herself a hippy - so I have a little, wee hope that she might be interested in someone who looks like a hippy (though this hasn't seemed to be the case in the past...). And her profile is written in pidgin English which is a little scary...

The second note - POF - 42 year old - not too distant - very light profile - asked us to ask her. Sigh.

Does it count as a new message if I write to a person I saw on one site and then write to her on another? I don't think it does. Doesn't much matter in any case as she didn't seem all that interested on OKC. I doubt she will be interested on Match!

The third note - Match.com - 44 - near and not far - good profile - nice pictures - not really a great match - and the version I am looking at doesn't tell me her age range or distance range, so, this is probably just for G&G.

Closed a bunch of tabs because the notes would have all been G&Gs and I just didn't feel up to writing them. Instead I wrote a fourth note to a match woman who is 54 and lives within driving distance. I thought it was a nice note. Funny even. Oh, just noticed that she isn't a paying member so I have to write her yahoo account. Sigh.

I also wrote a woman who I had written before but who never wrote me back - even though she said she would. Oh well. I am graciously giving her another chance.

And someone wrote me back! Yay! So I am going to write her back. That'll show her!

Fifth note was to an OK Cupid person who is 50 and lives far away. I found her interesting enough to forget about the distance, but who knows what she will think. The note was decent. (She wrote back and said it was a lovely note!)