March 14

Lots of open tabs again. Sigh. I must admit to some reluctance to keep bashing my head against this wall. But I keep thinking how nice it will be when I can eventually stop. And, honestly, it gives me something to do. Yes, taking care of my mom and working at the Smith both take up time, and daily, weekly, and monthly home and personal maintenance take up time. As do other funner activities that I do sometimes (juggle, play piano, play xBox, read, write (oh, look, I'm writing now!) use minutes in a day. And they are all valid uses of my time. I would, though, I think and believe, like to be in a real, happy, healthy long term relationship. And unless I happen into a woman at The Smith - or a traveling sales person (hmm, would I really have lots in common with someone who was a traveling sales person) knocks on the door, I believe that expanding my surface area by continuing to send out message after message, reaching out to all and sundry, just might make me feel like I am making a true effort in finding a life partner.

I posed a question on my status line on FB about being in a relationship with someone who dictated who your friends could be. I limited it to FB, but that sort of behavior has been happening throughout time. I, of course, am of the opinion that if someone told me that I couldn't be friends with so and so or else, then I might very well choose not to be in the relationship. Love, which we hope is the basis of a relationship, is, to me, about acceptance - which also encompasses respect and trust. I accept my love, my partner, as they are - which means I respect their choices and trust that they are doing the best they can for themselves. And if that includes being friends with someone that I think is not in their best interest, I might mention my belief to them, but not "forbid" them to have anything to do with that person. Once I have shared my thoughts, I can then re-think our own relationship. Maybe the person I am in a relationship isn't the best person for me to be with.

First note - G&G since our match percentages are messed up (OK Cupid - 45 - not far sort of) 50% Match 37% Friend 32% Enemy - eek actually... All she had for most of her answers was "sex sleep eat drink dream" Sigh.

Second Note - Probably also G&G because she lives in Canada - but nothing ventured... - 40 and 74% Match 45% Friend 7% Enemy - Short and sweet and clear profile! Going for a slightly humorous note. Wish me luck! - She said distance was an issue. Lame. Whatever. I wrote her a note I always mean to ask - especially when I have written a decent note - which I did in her case - which is "Does she receive notes that are twice as good from people half the distance away?" I sincerely doubt it...She responded that she was new and that mine was the best so far! Maybe mine was the only one. Who knows? Still, it is somewhat reassuring to hear that I give good notes!

Next note - I don't remember if this is a first note or not. I remember this woman and am not sure if I put fingers to keys for her before - I think I did - but I can't recall. Oh well. Damn match for not keeping track of all messaging history! Glarp even. 

Third Note - Match 45 - probably G&G because I get a conservative vibe from her - and because she only wants someone 50. Age is just a number is a mantra I often here...Anyway, she lives almost next door in a relative sort of way. My note was nice, but not great. 

Fourth Note - Match 37 - not far - but the age is wrong - and again I get the conservative vibe. So I sent a G&G note. 
 

Feb 20

Still hoping that one of the one note people was not really a won note person. But not holding out a lot of hope for that. We shall, of course, see. (Do I say that a lot? It feels like I say that a lot. I guess it might be one of my phrases - like "Sounds like a plan.")(I know I don't type that a lot, but I know I do say "Sounds like a plan" a lot.)

Again, multiple tabs have somehow found there way into my browser window. By the way, I love the idea of tabs in browser - whoever came up with that idea is a genius! I hope they were well rewarded by their company...

I have a couple of profile observations to make. If a person puts Auto racing/motocross as one of the sports they like, I am guessing we probably won't be a great match. Or if one of the activities they enjoy is 4 wheeling. And most people who are enthusiastic about all things water - they might be appealing to me in lots of other ways, but I am guessing we won't hit it off. This is not to say that I won't write them anyway, and I would be happy to be wrong. It just is a feeling I get and a sense I have from observation...

I think I get a p-crush (profile crush) on one in about twenty profiles. And the p-crush varies in intensity - from a 1 - a slightly more elevated level of interest than in general to a 10 - I lie awake for hours wondering if I should write and what I ought to write and if I wrote how long will it be before she responds and if she doesn't respond in what amount of time should I write again and if so what should I say and please oh please let her at least write me back once and then we can go from there unless she writes me a thank you but no thank you letter and then do I write back anything other than a thank you for at least taking the time to write letter or god has it only been five minutes since I sent that message...

First Note - I am going to break with my normal pattern and start with a note to a p-crush level 3 instead of writing some warm-up notes to others first. OKC woman (I don't know why I keep writing woman since I am not likely at this point in my life to start finding men to be attractive as romantic and sexual partners...) 44 - 87% Match, 78% Friend, 18% enemy - lives a bit farther than is comfortable, but is looking for people anywhere and even my age (and older). Her profile is well fleshed out, interesting, funny and thoughtful. Her pictures are appealing as well. So, here goes nothing...ok, killer first note if I must say so myself. Witty, friendly, showing I really looked at her profile and asking her a few simple to respond to questions, while making it clear that I was actually interested. One red flag is that she said she is available, not single. Not really sure what that means...Fingers crossed!

Three of the people on OKC that I am going to send messages to are just for grins and giggles. I think one of them, at least, is a fake profile. Maybe all three are.

Second Note - OKC woman - 54 - looks 34 in her pictures - no profile text at all - answered no questions so no match percentages - but heck, I don't have a problem going in blind! Leaps of faith - that is what life is all about! Geronimo! My guess is this is a fake profile.

Third Note - OKC Woman - 45 years old - no questions answered so no match percentage - very brief profile that doesn't give much of a clue about who she is - just that she spells armour the British way...I think maybe another fake profile. I actually think I wrote her before, long ago. I guess I will find out.

Fourth Note - OKC Woman - 36 years old - so right at the bottom of my hoped for age range - no questions answered. She does have a decently filled out profile. Red flags are: Her profile picture looks more like a modeling/glam shot than a real picture - she asks for "real" people - and she says that she has a hard time logging in - which I take to mean that if she does write back, she will immediately ask for an email address at which to write - perhaps giving one in exchange. Since I am out of her age range, though, I don't expect to hear back in any case...

The next 3 OKC people are all of interest to me. Not to register on the p-crush scale - but they all seem real and interesting. One of them has too low (for me) a top age desire, but I will write to her anyway - just because I love to waste everyone's time. :)

Fifth Note - OKC Woman 36 years old - I love her handle - I would tell you, but I am trying to maintain a bit of privacy for these people - 80% Match, 65% Friend and 9% enemy - she says she is bisexual - always interesting to me for some reason - and not too far away. And I am within her age range selection. Yay. Decent first note, but not the best effort.

Sixth note - OKC 39 year old woman with the low top age (she wants 40 - I am sure she won't respond positively (more likely she won't respond at all) - Match percentages should trump age requirements - anyway - Match 74%, Friend 55% and Enemy 12% - ok, not fantastic percentages - truthfully, she just appealed. I basically just told her that she appealed and that I didn't expect to hear from her. Next! (She wrote back and said I was sweet - a lot better than nothing!)

Seventh Note - OKC woman - 43 years old - lives too far away for comfort - so I am guessing no letter back - but I liked her profile and pictures and I feel compelled to write - not a p-crush but not chopped liver either. Match 86%, Friend 79%, Enemy 12% (She wrote back and said "Great Message." Then proceeded to write what I thought was a little hurtful - "But I really don't have a need or desire for a long distance acquaintance." Wow. Ouch. Whatever.

Ok, I am just about ready to quit. Not really. It's just so futile feeling at times. I will soldier on. Tomorrow is another day. 

Feb 4

First note was to a woman on match. She is 44 and lives within 100 miles. I just realized that she had put an income desire in her profile. So, I don't expect a note back from her. (She wrote back...)

Second note to another woman on match. 38, I live outside her distance preference and am outside of her age preference - she only wants to go up to 45. Why did I write her? Because she seemed interesting. Doubt I will hear back.

Oh, another reason I wrote - Match's 6 month guarantee - I need to write at least 5 people each month in order to qualify for a second six months free if I haven't found a relationship by the end of the first 6 months. Kind of a weird thing to be striving for. Then again, I am parsimonious and like to get my money's worth.

Third note - to an OKC person - 82% match - 24% friend - 0% enemy - lives less than 40 miles away and seemed like someone I would like to know. Sadly, her top age is 44, so I don't think I will hear back from her.

Feb 3

Notes I wrote February 3

The match match I wrote to had looked at my profile. I know I had looked at hers a couple of times. She lives close by, is 40 and seemed interesting enough to warrant an email. So I sent a few lines, nothing too creative or interesting, just an icebreaker really. I am thinking that she won't respond, but time will tell. One woman wrote me back after a month's delay!

The second email I sent was to a woman on OKC with a basically empty profile. She is 37, lives not too far away and is looking for someone in my age range. She requests "near me" as most people do - but never really clear what that is - since the choices for "near" are up to 200 miles away. Sigh.

Ok, wrote to another woman on OKC. She is 47, lives in Montana and had a quirky, interesting, thoughtful and humorous profile. Our match ratings were 66% Match, 73% Friend and 10% enemy. She said she liked people from anywhere - so there is a decent chance she will write back. We shall see. (She wrote back and we have exchanged a few emails so far...)

And another - this one I am just writing for grins and giggles. Very short profile and she is 38. Our match ratings were 60% match, 80% friend and 18% enemy. Not too shabby. The reason it is for G&G is because her upper age range is only 45. She lives pretty close, in the greater scheme of things.  My message basically reflected some thoughts in her profile and asked a question. I like to ask questions when I write messages. Gives the other person something to answer rather than having to think of conversation on their own. Sometimes it works...

Next message - it is fun to have a day away from the Smith - to a woman on Match.com. I am not sure how match matches people. And it isn't clear how matchful one is. Anyway, she was 47 and a grandmother! Not really all that surprising that she is a grandmother - actually that is about right mathematically (20 years per generation) - she just doesn't look like a grandmother. I don't expect a response because I am older than she is looking for (50) and further than she wants (50 miles). But it doesn't hurt me too much to write a note. Her profile was two sentences. A little warning was that she wrote to instead of too...

Quite a busy day, note wise. 

Wrote five and got one response so far. That is above my average "responses received" rate, I think.

Feb 1

I got on OKC and checked out some profiles. I saw a few that piqued my interest, so I decided I would check them out a little more after I was a little more awake. I like to check profiles twice before I write - just because. I had forgotten that OKC likes to do this thing at the beginning of each month - they change one's search filters to "located anywhere" "Online Now" and some random age setting of their own devising. So it turns out that the first one I liked turned out to live in CA. Now one of my pet peeves about OKC is that they don't automatically do reverse matching - in other words, they don't check to see if I happen to match some of their criteria for who they are looking for. This is good, because I can write to whomever I desire. It is bad, because, sadly, most people I am interested in, aren't looking for me.

This particular woman lived in CA and was looking for some one "near me." But I wrote her anyway. Oh, a little more about her - she was 34 but was looking for people 24-54, so I fit that criterion. And I fit the others as well, except for "near me" bit. OKC says that she replies selectively (not very selectively). She also rated 68% match, 73% Friend and 24% Enemy.

I also wrote to another woman whose match rating was 77% match, 79% friend and 4%. She lived a bit nearer - but probably not near enough to entertain the thought of dating. Three hour drive one way is a longish way unless people are really, really motivated. The thing that made me think that she might not mind that much, is that she said she likes meeting new people. We shall see if anything comes of this message.

So, two messages written February first, despite a really, really full day at work. Yippee!