First note of the day (early - after I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and did some other stuff - like work - sigh) was to a woman on Match.com who showed up in my daily matches. 53 - but another one who wants someone who makes substantial money. Sigh. I think, I am pretty sure, that I have written her before. She lives south of me and seemed interesting - when I say this, what do I mean? I mean that her profile wasn't empty - or didn't have just a few adjectives describing herself - or wasn't a diatribe about what she didn't want - she seemed to have thought about what she was writing and did a good job of piquing my interest. She didn't write back last time, so I am guessing she won't write back this time. Match deletes messages after 30 days automatically. This is a mixed blessing - good because one doesn't have to do much mailbox maintenance - bad because of situations like this, where I think I have written someone but Match doesn't remember that I did...
Second note - match.com - a woman who is 45 and lives less than 50 miles away - and is looking for someone in my age range! (For some reason, I have been thinking that I am 52 - oh, right, because I am - soon to be 53 though. Hmmm) She is letting her pictures do the talking - many posted and not much verbiage - no profile text, no headline text and barely any of the other stuff filled out. This makes me a bit wary that she may not be real. Or just not interested in writing. Hmm.
Third Note - match.com - A new to me woman appeared in my match mail and after sitting on her (not literally - I mean, I had her profile open in a tab) for a day or two, I decided to write. She is 53 - one warning sign - she is "Currently Separated" which is one reason it took me so long to send a message. She lives relatively close by. Her profile was excellently written, full of thoughtful self-observation. And she seemed like a realistic optimist. Actually, looking through her pictures, I think I might have actually written her before. Sigh.
Two other items of note. One - a woman actually wrote me from Match.com: 60 and living less than 50 miles away. Not much there in terms of profile verbiage, but I will certainly write back - actually soon after I post this note.
Two - I had a nice phone call with one of the women with whom I am corresponding. This is noteworthy for a couple of reasons. First, on my part, I don't usually enjoy phone calls. Partly because of the reception (or lack there of) in my house. Partly because if my mom is awake, it confuses her when I talk on the phone. Second, because some people are not as ready to talk on the phone for whatever reason. They keep their phone number a secret for as long as they possibly can, only giving it out when a meeting in person is imminent. I understand there concerns in an academic way as I have not yet had to deal with anyone who has been the least little bit stalkery.
Showing posts with label profiles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label profiles. Show all posts
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Feb 3
Notes I wrote February 3
The match match I wrote to had looked at my profile. I know I had looked at hers a couple of times. She lives close by, is 40 and seemed interesting enough to warrant an email. So I sent a few lines, nothing too creative or interesting, just an icebreaker really. I am thinking that she won't respond, but time will tell. One woman wrote me back after a month's delay!
The second email I sent was to a woman on OKC with a basically empty profile. She is 37, lives not too far away and is looking for someone in my age range. She requests "near me" as most people do - but never really clear what that is - since the choices for "near" are up to 200 miles away. Sigh.
Ok, wrote to another woman on OKC. She is 47, lives in Montana and had a quirky, interesting, thoughtful and humorous profile. Our match ratings were 66% Match, 73% Friend and 10% enemy. She said she liked people from anywhere - so there is a decent chance she will write back. We shall see. (She wrote back and we have exchanged a few emails so far...)
And another - this one I am just writing for grins and giggles. Very short profile and she is 38. Our match ratings were 60% match, 80% friend and 18% enemy. Not too shabby. The reason it is for G&G is because her upper age range is only 45. She lives pretty close, in the greater scheme of things. My message basically reflected some thoughts in her profile and asked a question. I like to ask questions when I write messages. Gives the other person something to answer rather than having to think of conversation on their own. Sometimes it works...
Next message - it is fun to have a day away from the Smith - to a woman on Match.com. I am not sure how match matches people. And it isn't clear how matchful one is. Anyway, she was 47 and a grandmother! Not really all that surprising that she is a grandmother - actually that is about right mathematically (20 years per generation) - she just doesn't look like a grandmother. I don't expect a response because I am older than she is looking for (50) and further than she wants (50 miles). But it doesn't hurt me too much to write a note. Her profile was two sentences. A little warning was that she wrote to instead of too...
Quite a busy day, note wise.
Wrote five and got one response so far. That is above my average "responses received" rate, I think.
The match match I wrote to had looked at my profile. I know I had looked at hers a couple of times. She lives close by, is 40 and seemed interesting enough to warrant an email. So I sent a few lines, nothing too creative or interesting, just an icebreaker really. I am thinking that she won't respond, but time will tell. One woman wrote me back after a month's delay!
The second email I sent was to a woman on OKC with a basically empty profile. She is 37, lives not too far away and is looking for someone in my age range. She requests "near me" as most people do - but never really clear what that is - since the choices for "near" are up to 200 miles away. Sigh.
Ok, wrote to another woman on OKC. She is 47, lives in Montana and had a quirky, interesting, thoughtful and humorous profile. Our match ratings were 66% Match, 73% Friend and 10% enemy. She said she liked people from anywhere - so there is a decent chance she will write back. We shall see. (She wrote back and we have exchanged a few emails so far...)
And another - this one I am just writing for grins and giggles. Very short profile and she is 38. Our match ratings were 60% match, 80% friend and 18% enemy. Not too shabby. The reason it is for G&G is because her upper age range is only 45. She lives pretty close, in the greater scheme of things. My message basically reflected some thoughts in her profile and asked a question. I like to ask questions when I write messages. Gives the other person something to answer rather than having to think of conversation on their own. Sometimes it works...
Next message - it is fun to have a day away from the Smith - to a woman on Match.com. I am not sure how match matches people. And it isn't clear how matchful one is. Anyway, she was 47 and a grandmother! Not really all that surprising that she is a grandmother - actually that is about right mathematically (20 years per generation) - she just doesn't look like a grandmother. I don't expect a response because I am older than she is looking for (50) and further than she wants (50 miles). But it doesn't hurt me too much to write a note. Her profile was two sentences. A little warning was that she wrote to instead of too...
Quite a busy day, note wise.
Wrote five and got one response so far. That is above my average "responses received" rate, I think.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Relationship Blog - A Month (more or less) in dating
Hi. My name is Augustus and I might very well be a blogaholic - and perhaps a date-aholic. Or maybe a relationship-aholic. Or maybe an aholiic-aholic. I love adding -aholic to things. Don't know why. Just do. Where was I? Oh, yeah...
I have decided to document my attempts at finding a romantic relationship over the course of the next month as best as I can. Of course, I might just find one, and then, well, who knows. I might document that. We shall see. I do know that I put a lot of time and effort into the search for a significant other. So I might as well put a little bit more in and document what I am doing. Joy and rapture!
I have been mostly single off and on since my divorce in 1991. I don't know if I was really in a romantic relationship then, either, but it passed for one. Between then and now, I have dated a bunch and have had some monogamous romantic relationships, none of which lasted much more than a year. For what those relationships were, they were great. I am happy to have met all the people I have met, been with all the people I have been with and grateful for the opportunity to experience the experiences I have experienced. I would, though, really like to sink into a nice, long meaningful romantic relationship/partnership.
Given my history, though, is this a realistic hope? Maybe I am not wired for having long term romantic relationships. Then again, maybe I have just made choices that have led me to have shorter relationships and different choices will lead to different results. I was with my wife for most of four years and that has been my longest relationship. Ever. My work life mirrors this issue - I have never really been in a given job for more than 5 years. Hmm, maybe not more than three years...
Still, hope springs eternal
During the course of the next month (at least), I plan to write about my thoughts and feelings and actions in regards to relationships. I will do my best to be as straightforward and honest as possible, without causing undue consternation by anyone who might be referenced here. Part of me would love to post links to the various people to whom I will be referring, but that might be going a little overboard. Then again, if anyone is really curious, I might be willing to provide links to their profiles upon request. In direct email. I mean heck, their privacy is already somewhat compromised from them placing their profiles on the internet, right?
By the way, as some of you may know, I have a draft (not finished by a long stretch) of a relationship book lying around in my room somewhere. I think it is a good, insightful, honest book and should be out in the world. So, if anyone knows someone who would like to collaborate on it (in other words, work on it with me for free and share profits if there are ever any), please send them my way. Or if you know a nice woman...Or both.
I have decided to document my attempts at finding a romantic relationship over the course of the next month as best as I can. Of course, I might just find one, and then, well, who knows. I might document that. We shall see. I do know that I put a lot of time and effort into the search for a significant other. So I might as well put a little bit more in and document what I am doing. Joy and rapture!
I have been mostly single off and on since my divorce in 1991. I don't know if I was really in a romantic relationship then, either, but it passed for one. Between then and now, I have dated a bunch and have had some monogamous romantic relationships, none of which lasted much more than a year. For what those relationships were, they were great. I am happy to have met all the people I have met, been with all the people I have been with and grateful for the opportunity to experience the experiences I have experienced. I would, though, really like to sink into a nice, long meaningful romantic relationship/partnership.
Given my history, though, is this a realistic hope? Maybe I am not wired for having long term romantic relationships. Then again, maybe I have just made choices that have led me to have shorter relationships and different choices will lead to different results. I was with my wife for most of four years and that has been my longest relationship. Ever. My work life mirrors this issue - I have never really been in a given job for more than 5 years. Hmm, maybe not more than three years...
Still, hope springs eternal
During the course of the next month (at least), I plan to write about my thoughts and feelings and actions in regards to relationships. I will do my best to be as straightforward and honest as possible, without causing undue consternation by anyone who might be referenced here. Part of me would love to post links to the various people to whom I will be referring, but that might be going a little overboard. Then again, if anyone is really curious, I might be willing to provide links to their profiles upon request. In direct email. I mean heck, their privacy is already somewhat compromised from them placing their profiles on the internet, right?
By the way, as some of you may know, I have a draft (not finished by a long stretch) of a relationship book lying around in my room somewhere. I think it is a good, insightful, honest book and should be out in the world. So, if anyone knows someone who would like to collaborate on it (in other words, work on it with me for free and share profits if there are ever any), please send them my way. Or if you know a nice woman...Or both.
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