Went for it

So, I really went for it - I did everything except change my relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." If I had, I probably would have put "it's complicated" because, honestly, it was complicated. Note the past tense here. If you hadn't gathered, the long distance relationship has ended.

Two weeks is about the length of most of my LDRs it seems. Or six weeks perhaps. Or three years. Hard to say. How to count the time? From when you first started communication? Or from when things changed from "this is nice" to "hey, we both really like each, don't we." The end time is usually much easier to determine.

All in all, I had a pleasant time. I miss not having someone to write to at all hours of the night and day with thoughts - and knowing that I would get a response in a fairly timely manner to some of what I had written. And there were other pleasant parts. Some, not so pleasant, but I don't plan on a) airing my soiled clothing (or whatever the phrase is...) here or anywhere and b) I don't like to dwell on the negative and c) I don't like to live in the past, generally. Though I do quite a bit of that when writing, don't I? Hmm...

So, it is back to the drawing board. I have started cruising OKC and Match and POF again. I don't think I will go back to the uber boring noting of all the messages I send and responses I don't get. That was just too tedious for words. So, thank the LDR for making me stop that at least. I might, actually, start to write about my thoughts on Relationships.

One of the sad things about the end of the recent LDR was that she had been excited to help me with my books - not going to happen now. I still need someone to help me clean-up the Relationship book - and someone who is really clever, detail oriented and designedly amazing to help me with my self-help book. Yes, writing a book takes a village! :)

Feb 3

Notes I wrote February 3

The match match I wrote to had looked at my profile. I know I had looked at hers a couple of times. She lives close by, is 40 and seemed interesting enough to warrant an email. So I sent a few lines, nothing too creative or interesting, just an icebreaker really. I am thinking that she won't respond, but time will tell. One woman wrote me back after a month's delay!

The second email I sent was to a woman on OKC with a basically empty profile. She is 37, lives not too far away and is looking for someone in my age range. She requests "near me" as most people do - but never really clear what that is - since the choices for "near" are up to 200 miles away. Sigh.

Ok, wrote to another woman on OKC. She is 47, lives in Montana and had a quirky, interesting, thoughtful and humorous profile. Our match ratings were 66% Match, 73% Friend and 10% enemy. She said she liked people from anywhere - so there is a decent chance she will write back. We shall see. (She wrote back and we have exchanged a few emails so far...)

And another - this one I am just writing for grins and giggles. Very short profile and she is 38. Our match ratings were 60% match, 80% friend and 18% enemy. Not too shabby. The reason it is for G&G is because her upper age range is only 45. She lives pretty close, in the greater scheme of things.  My message basically reflected some thoughts in her profile and asked a question. I like to ask questions when I write messages. Gives the other person something to answer rather than having to think of conversation on their own. Sometimes it works...

Next message - it is fun to have a day away from the Smith - to a woman on Match.com. I am not sure how match matches people. And it isn't clear how matchful one is. Anyway, she was 47 and a grandmother! Not really all that surprising that she is a grandmother - actually that is about right mathematically (20 years per generation) - she just doesn't look like a grandmother. I don't expect a response because I am older than she is looking for (50) and further than she wants (50 miles). But it doesn't hurt me too much to write a note. Her profile was two sentences. A little warning was that she wrote to instead of too...

Quite a busy day, note wise. 

Wrote five and got one response so far. That is above my average "responses received" rate, I think.

Feb 1

I got on OKC and checked out some profiles. I saw a few that piqued my interest, so I decided I would check them out a little more after I was a little more awake. I like to check profiles twice before I write - just because. I had forgotten that OKC likes to do this thing at the beginning of each month - they change one's search filters to "located anywhere" "Online Now" and some random age setting of their own devising. So it turns out that the first one I liked turned out to live in CA. Now one of my pet peeves about OKC is that they don't automatically do reverse matching - in other words, they don't check to see if I happen to match some of their criteria for who they are looking for. This is good, because I can write to whomever I desire. It is bad, because, sadly, most people I am interested in, aren't looking for me.

This particular woman lived in CA and was looking for some one "near me." But I wrote her anyway. Oh, a little more about her - she was 34 but was looking for people 24-54, so I fit that criterion. And I fit the others as well, except for "near me" bit. OKC says that she replies selectively (not very selectively). She also rated 68% match, 73% Friend and 24% Enemy.

I also wrote to another woman whose match rating was 77% match, 79% friend and 4%. She lived a bit nearer - but probably not near enough to entertain the thought of dating. Three hour drive one way is a longish way unless people are really, really motivated. The thing that made me think that she might not mind that much, is that she said she likes meeting new people. We shall see if anything comes of this message.

So, two messages written February first, despite a really, really full day at work. Yippee!