I am toying with the idea of a radical make-over. Chop off my hair and shave off my beard. I will still be me, won't I? Fuzzy Wuzzy remained Fuzzy Wuzzy after all, didn't he?
It is harder for me to write some emails than others. A bit of performance anxiety perhaps. Perhaps because I feel more is at stake. Nonsense really, since these women will or will not desire to know me better because of what is in themselves and not what is in me or in my profile or in my initial email. Sigh. Just get typing, Augustus. Sooner sent, sooner out of my mind.
I am triply concerned about the first woman I am writing to. The primary concern is that she is "currently separated" which means not totally free, emotionally for sure, probably legally. Second concern is that she seems to be a beach person and I am more of a mountain person, not a biggie, just a little flag. Third, she is a dancer - now this isn't really a concern, more of a niggling. I love to dance. Just not in public. I might could get over this given the right incentive and partner. Could she be the one? Anyway, she in on Match, is 51, lives not far away at all and is in many respects, at least from her profile, someone who I would be happy getting to know better.
Sometimes when I write an initial letter, I get a feeling that I have written something dead on and great. Since I don't get feedback from many of my notes, I am probably wrong. As I am probably wrong when I feel that I tried too hard or missed the mark. This note I just wrote, felt like the latter...Again, not much feedback.
People often say they are looking for Chemistry/Spark in a relationship. Heck, I know what they mean. And that is a good feeling. Sadly, everything I have read and experienced leads me to believe that chemistry and spark are the last things a good, lasting long term relationship should be built on. One book suggested that the Chemistry fueled feeling generally lasts about two weeks - the honeymoon period in a relationship, before the blinders and the rose colored glasses come off and you are confronted with the reality of the person you are with in the flesh and for real. My thought - enjoy the chemistry, and start from the very beginning trying to see who someone actually is and if their essence resonates with your essence. This presupposes that one knows one's own essence...
The next woman I am writing to gives me little butterflies in my stomach. Just from her profile and pictures. This does not happen frequently. My one concern here is that I am out of her desired distance (though she does say that she likes Ithaca and the Finger Lakes which makes me think I will be ok in that respect at least). Here goes - oh, she is on Match, is 46 and lives not too far away (in my opinion). Hmm. Not my best first email. Maybe I am tired. Or something. Grrr.
Last one for now - also on Match - 47 with no distance requirement mentioned. I don't think I have seen that before. I have seen 300 miles, but never noticed someone without any distance preference. Then again, this woman seems to be really together and a little bit intimidating. I don't intimidate easily, I don't think. But what the heck, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Faint heart never won fair damsel. Write on! Again, not feeling like I nailed it. I don't think I was particularly funny or intelligent sounding. Sigh.
I have a couple mental of responses to people who say "no" by not replying to a lovely, thoughtful message of the type I send. First is, "phew!" I guess I was wrong about how interesting they were. Second thought is, "their loss." Maybe it is a bit of "sour grapes" but I know how wonderful I am. (And I know my own limitations...)
One of the nice things about being a subscriber to Match is I can tell if a message has been read or not. Yay! All three messages were read and no one, so far, has responded.
I mentioned two mini-crushes I had at the concert on Saturday in my regular blog. As I said there, I would be very, very surprised if anything came of either of them. Hope springs...
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