I am going to start with the confessions. I don't know yet if I will find anyone of interest to write messages to.
When I have a crush on someone, I immediately have large leaps of fancy: she loves me, she and I will flirt a bit and quickly get into a relationship, she can't wait to introduce me to her friends, family, dog...right. Like any of that really happens. Nope. Not a bit of it. What usually happens is a lot of nothing. The feeling is not mutual, it is only one sided and all in my little pea brain (because of the color, not because of the computational power...).
Being the clever cuss I am, I do sometimes try to see what is out there in the e-verse about them. Having their name helps, or their email address. Sometimes I find stuff, often I find very little or ambiguous stuff (right name, but not right geography or age or whatever). Sometimes I get lucky and find their Facebook or other sites to which they belong. I would never, ever send a friend request to a crush. Never. If they request a friendship with me, I will certainly agree, but it would be highly out of character for me to initiate that.
A recent crush I had belonged to a bunch of public-ish sites. One was a shopping site with wish lists of what they might like as gifts. Weird site and weird idea. Sadly, I was tempted to get them something and get it to them in some way. Maybe, since V-Day is coming up, give it to them as a Valentine's Day gift from a secret admirer. Like that ever works in real life? Ha. Hahahahaha. Ha. Haha. I will admit to having done similar things once or twice (or maybe three times) in the past. To no avail. Often it becomes clear before I give the gift that the crush was only on my end. Sometimes I just chicken out. Bwuck, bwuck, bwuck... (That is supposed to be the sound a chicken makes...)
Another recent crush, well, I only really know where she works. Not that helpful unless it were a restaurant, which it isn't. And again, I am pretty sure (definitely actually) that any crushy sort of thoughts are completely one sided. My sided. Sighded...
From Six to One - and that one is a maybe. I am kind of burned out on Match and OK Cupid just now. I have written to most everyone I can find on both sites. Ok, not true - there are more on Match that I could write to - but I am not feeling up to it. It isn't the rejection so much as the lack of any interaction. Heck, I wouldn't mind if someone wrote me and told me I was icky and had an argument (not that I would argue...) that lasted a few emails. It is at points like this that I tend to think of even more extreme ways to find interaction. Maybe I will try to play some video games. Anything might help! Oh, the Six to One refers to how many women I starting looking at and how many I might actually write to on Plenty of Fish (POF).
Oh, and though I still get a lot of crushes, they are mostly shorter lived than they used to be. I used to anguish over a crush for months, now I have managed to get the anguish down to a week or even a few days. Gotta love the speed at which life is moving for me nowadays! :)
Ok, wrote to one woman on POF - she lives a good distance away, 45 years old - just seemed interesting - and her profile was pithy as opposed to 25 words and out!
Then again, do profiles really matter? Let's face facts. Most people just look at the photos and then decide to write. Or not. I am not most people. A picture may attract me, but a profile that is full of typos, bad punctuation or full of information that is off-putting (I am a conservative, gold digger, who likes to be pampered...and likes men who wear cowboy hats, drive a truck and are clean shaven...) will turn an initial - oh, she looks appealing to and oh, my, no thank you.
I don't think a lot of the women on these sites are seriously looking for a significant other. I say this because they don't respond to my messages. I do get that I am not for everyone. But how are you going to find someone if you only reply to the people who seem perfect for you? How many perfect for you people are there? And just because they seem perfect for you, doesn't mean that you are perfect for them. Do realize, please, that I don't mean perfect as in "perfect" I mean as seemingly ideal or close enough for government work. I figure if someone has taken the time and effort to write to me, even if I see no possibility of a relationship, I will write back. And if they really, really believe that they are right for me and want to talk on the phone or meet, heck, I will do that. Why? Because I have no life and I crave interaction. Yes, that is one bloody honest answer. The other is because anything is possible. Any. Thing. Is. Possible. Who am I to limit myself to just what I believe? They could be right, they could be just who I am looking for and I didn't know it. Most things are unlikely, and it is most likely that I was right, but I am willing to try. Most women, well, even a well crafted note from a man who is pretty frickin' awesome doesn't do it for them for whatever reason. And they move past my message and the no-matter-how-remote possibility that we might get along in some way shape or form. Whatever.
On Match, it shows how many "likes" one has received and how many "likes" one has sent. I received 17 (thus far) and have sent 100. Sigh. I am cleaning those up now. Double sigh.
Second note - Woman on Match who was looking for someone a smidge younger than I am - 50 was her top limit - she is 37 - and I am within her dating circumference. We shall see. I thought I wrote a pretty decent first email this time.
I think my plan will be to go through the 100 likes I have sent and decide whether or not to send them messages. Part of me just wants to send them messages no matter what - meaning no matter what their age or distance preferences are. All it does it takes me a little time. And since I like to write, why the heck not. Practice makes perfect!
Third note - woman on POF - 44 lives a bit too far away I guess and I just get the feeling that I am not her type. Or that she will think I am not her type - which really amounts to the same thing in this situation...
I wish I could figure out more about people by the language they use and how they describe themselves. What does "down-to-earth" mean?
Here it is, 10:30 at night and I have found four people to write to. I think I have written to at least one of them before. But heck, I will try again. Maybe since she hasn't found anyone to date in the past month she might rethink her decision not to at least communicate with. Hahahahahaha! But I am not going to write any of them tonight - I will save that joy for tomorrow...
No comments:
Post a Comment