Monday, January 5, 2015
Can't believe I fell for it - again
I hate the freakin' bait and switch on dating websites. I put a profile on one site and apparently it has about twelve sister sites so I magically got put on all of those. On one of them, a perfectly reasonable looking woman (most of the women who "send me messages" are too amazing looking to be real) wrote me a note and then seemed to write me a second note - nothing too outlandish in them - like "Love your photo" since the photo I put up (specifically for this reason) is one in which I can barely be seen (and it is not an example of good photo art). But the only way I could respond was to pay for a membership. Which I did. And of course, no more messages. Sigh.
Quick update
Just a quick update. I did get a thank you from the woman for whom I made the scarf. It was when I wandered past her at her work place - she said "Thank you! I love it! I showed it to my grandmother and she said..." Ok, that's where I tuned out just a bit. My guess is she equates me with her grandmother. True, I am probably old enough to be her grandmother, but still...
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Current State of Affairs
Ha! I wouldn't mind an affair.
Currently there are a couple of women "in my life." Which means that I think about them more than I think about women who aren't in my life. If that makes sense, great.
The first is a big crush. Crushes, for me, come in different sizes or intensities. This one was pretty huge, but I am working hard on eliminating it from my psyche. Crushes, generally, are not especially healthy. They are one-sided and somewhat obsessive. And it has become clear, even to me, that this particular woman (awesome as she is) is just not interested in getting to know me better. So I need to let this crush go and move on with my life. Getting better all the time.
The second woman is a weird story that hasn't gotten to a point where I can conclude anything. I was wearing my self-made scarf at a store and a worker there gushed over it, as is sometimes the case. The next time I saw her she gushed some more and asked me to make her a scarf. I laughed the idea off. Heck, I hadn't touched a crochet hook for 30+ years. The next time I saw her she asked me to make her a scarf again - I asked her if her fiancé wouldn't be jealous - she said that the ring on her wedding finger was just a ring she liked and there was no fiancé. I saw her again and asked her what she wanted in the way of a scarf and she didn't give me any guidance. Over the holidays I eventually managed to get to the Yarn Store, bought some yarn and a crochet hook and looked up scarf making on the internet. Over the course of a few days I made an attempt at a scarf - even put tassels on it. Not awesome, but better than nothing. Next task, figuring out how to give it to her - since I only know her from her work place. Eventually I came up with a solution - put it in a bag in the car. Check to see if she was working and then pop back out to the car and somehow give it to her. I also put my phone number on the bag in case she wanted to contact me outside of her work place. It all worked out on Friday. And I haven't heard from her. I don't really expect to - as I try to live without expectations. Hahahahaha. At least I try. Hopes, sure, expectations, well, hopefully not.
Meanwhile I got sucked into another dating site - bait and switch and I fell for it. Sigh. And I keep plugging along on Match.com. My next relationship post will be about Match.com - I really want to change my profile soon...
Currently there are a couple of women "in my life." Which means that I think about them more than I think about women who aren't in my life. If that makes sense, great.
The first is a big crush. Crushes, for me, come in different sizes or intensities. This one was pretty huge, but I am working hard on eliminating it from my psyche. Crushes, generally, are not especially healthy. They are one-sided and somewhat obsessive. And it has become clear, even to me, that this particular woman (awesome as she is) is just not interested in getting to know me better. So I need to let this crush go and move on with my life. Getting better all the time.
The second woman is a weird story that hasn't gotten to a point where I can conclude anything. I was wearing my self-made scarf at a store and a worker there gushed over it, as is sometimes the case. The next time I saw her she gushed some more and asked me to make her a scarf. I laughed the idea off. Heck, I hadn't touched a crochet hook for 30+ years. The next time I saw her she asked me to make her a scarf again - I asked her if her fiancé wouldn't be jealous - she said that the ring on her wedding finger was just a ring she liked and there was no fiancé. I saw her again and asked her what she wanted in the way of a scarf and she didn't give me any guidance. Over the holidays I eventually managed to get to the Yarn Store, bought some yarn and a crochet hook and looked up scarf making on the internet. Over the course of a few days I made an attempt at a scarf - even put tassels on it. Not awesome, but better than nothing. Next task, figuring out how to give it to her - since I only know her from her work place. Eventually I came up with a solution - put it in a bag in the car. Check to see if she was working and then pop back out to the car and somehow give it to her. I also put my phone number on the bag in case she wanted to contact me outside of her work place. It all worked out on Friday. And I haven't heard from her. I don't really expect to - as I try to live without expectations. Hahahahaha. At least I try. Hopes, sure, expectations, well, hopefully not.
Meanwhile I got sucked into another dating site - bait and switch and I fell for it. Sigh. And I keep plugging along on Match.com. My next relationship post will be about Match.com - I really want to change my profile soon...
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Went for it
So, I really went for it - I did everything except change my relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." If I had, I probably would have put "it's complicated" because, honestly, it was complicated. Note the past tense here. If you hadn't gathered, the long distance relationship has ended.
Two weeks is about the length of most of my LDRs it seems. Or six weeks perhaps. Or three years. Hard to say. How to count the time? From when you first started communication? Or from when things changed from "this is nice" to "hey, we both really like each, don't we." The end time is usually much easier to determine.
All in all, I had a pleasant time. I miss not having someone to write to at all hours of the night and day with thoughts - and knowing that I would get a response in a fairly timely manner to some of what I had written. And there were other pleasant parts. Some, not so pleasant, but I don't plan on a) airing my soiled clothing (or whatever the phrase is...) here or anywhere and b) I don't like to dwell on the negative and c) I don't like to live in the past, generally. Though I do quite a bit of that when writing, don't I? Hmm...
So, it is back to the drawing board. I have started cruising OKC and Match and POF again. I don't think I will go back to the uber boring noting of all the messages I send and responses I don't get. That was just too tedious for words. So, thank the LDR for making me stop that at least. I might, actually, start to write about my thoughts on Relationships.
One of the sad things about the end of the recent LDR was that she had been excited to help me with my books - not going to happen now. I still need someone to help me clean-up the Relationship book - and someone who is really clever, detail oriented and designedly amazing to help me with my self-help book. Yes, writing a book takes a village! :)
Two weeks is about the length of most of my LDRs it seems. Or six weeks perhaps. Or three years. Hard to say. How to count the time? From when you first started communication? Or from when things changed from "this is nice" to "hey, we both really like each, don't we." The end time is usually much easier to determine.
All in all, I had a pleasant time. I miss not having someone to write to at all hours of the night and day with thoughts - and knowing that I would get a response in a fairly timely manner to some of what I had written. And there were other pleasant parts. Some, not so pleasant, but I don't plan on a) airing my soiled clothing (or whatever the phrase is...) here or anywhere and b) I don't like to dwell on the negative and c) I don't like to live in the past, generally. Though I do quite a bit of that when writing, don't I? Hmm...
So, it is back to the drawing board. I have started cruising OKC and Match and POF again. I don't think I will go back to the uber boring noting of all the messages I send and responses I don't get. That was just too tedious for words. So, thank the LDR for making me stop that at least. I might, actually, start to write about my thoughts on Relationships.
One of the sad things about the end of the recent LDR was that she had been excited to help me with my books - not going to happen now. I still need someone to help me clean-up the Relationship book - and someone who is really clever, detail oriented and designedly amazing to help me with my self-help book. Yes, writing a book takes a village! :)
Monday, April 21, 2014
Going for it!
All things are possible!
Three years ago, on a website, I met a woman. We had a flirtation - fairly hot and heavy, until she mentioned an on again-off again boyfriend. That put a damper on our budding feelings. We kept in touch, even meeting briefly once and have kept in touch sporadically ever since. Recently, we started communicating a bit more. Ok, a lot more. Turns out that the embers that were damped down have burst into flame once again. So, we are going to make a go of it and see what the future holds.
That means that I will not be writing letters to people on the dating sites for the foreseeable future. I will not be actively seeking someone else to date. My energies are focused on this potential relationship and my attentions focused on this one person.
She has agreed that I can write about the relationship here on this blog (and elsewhere?). Yay! What I will write, I don't know. I do know that relationships of any kind are by their nature a bit of a roller coaster ride. And I know that it takes a lot to move any relationship from a "relationship" to a "Relationship." Wish us luck!
Three years ago, on a website, I met a woman. We had a flirtation - fairly hot and heavy, until she mentioned an on again-off again boyfriend. That put a damper on our budding feelings. We kept in touch, even meeting briefly once and have kept in touch sporadically ever since. Recently, we started communicating a bit more. Ok, a lot more. Turns out that the embers that were damped down have burst into flame once again. So, we are going to make a go of it and see what the future holds.
That means that I will not be writing letters to people on the dating sites for the foreseeable future. I will not be actively seeking someone else to date. My energies are focused on this potential relationship and my attentions focused on this one person.
She has agreed that I can write about the relationship here on this blog (and elsewhere?). Yay! What I will write, I don't know. I do know that relationships of any kind are by their nature a bit of a roller coaster ride. And I know that it takes a lot to move any relationship from a "relationship" to a "Relationship." Wish us luck!
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
April 15
Going to write some notes today. I have had these tabs open for a week or so and just need to get to it. Sure, I don't actually expect responses anymore. But at least I feel like I am doing something.
I have been thinking about relationships and Relationships. People are. People are individuals. And, much as we would like to believe that they are, in most ways like us (which, in fact, percentage wise they are), they are in fact just enough dissimilar to be almost totally alien. Just sayin'.
First note - 46 year old on Match within distance but she only wants to go to 50 years old. Sigh. Says she is "very liberal." Anything is possible, I guess. (She wrote back and said she didn't think we weren't a good match - and therefore she is right! Good luck to her.)(The mind is an interesting thing. I didn't think we were an awesome match - but I was open to the possibility. Anything is possible, after all. Normally I don't get a response, so getting a response at all ought to have filled me with joy, right? Sure, until I read the message. Then a little crash. What is that about? I didn't know her, I didn't really care about her, I wasn't all that interested in her - yet still, when even this little, teeny, mostly impersonal rejection came along, I was mildly devastated. What the fuck is that about? Crap. One day I will be impervious. Nah. Won't happen. Too much of a softie...)
Second Note - 42 year old on OK Cupid who lives too far away - she does respond frequently, so who knows...(nothing yet)
I have been thinking about relationships and Relationships. People are. People are individuals. And, much as we would like to believe that they are, in most ways like us (which, in fact, percentage wise they are), they are in fact just enough dissimilar to be almost totally alien. Just sayin'.
First note - 46 year old on Match within distance but she only wants to go to 50 years old. Sigh. Says she is "very liberal." Anything is possible, I guess. (She wrote back and said she didn't think we weren't a good match - and therefore she is right! Good luck to her.)(The mind is an interesting thing. I didn't think we were an awesome match - but I was open to the possibility. Anything is possible, after all. Normally I don't get a response, so getting a response at all ought to have filled me with joy, right? Sure, until I read the message. Then a little crash. What is that about? I didn't know her, I didn't really care about her, I wasn't all that interested in her - yet still, when even this little, teeny, mostly impersonal rejection came along, I was mildly devastated. What the fuck is that about? Crap. One day I will be impervious. Nah. Won't happen. Too much of a softie...)
Second Note - 42 year old on OK Cupid who lives too far away - she does respond frequently, so who knows...(nothing yet)
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
April 14
And still no note writing. Partly because I have been otherwise engaged. Partly because I have been just not writing much of anything. Sigh.
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