Will I even write one note today? It gets hard/difficult when I write and write and write and write and get no responses. Even the ones I think might actually respond. Because, let's face facts - I don't get a lot of responses and even fewer "Let's do this thing" notes. Oh well. Hope springs eternal. And as long as there is electricity, I will continue to type...
Nope - not one new message! I guess I really did need a break...
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Feb 24
Again, lots of tabs open. Unfortunately most of them will be for Grins and Giggles - since I don't, generally, meet their age requirement. Sigh.
Note Uno - Yes, I know the number One in Spanish. Aren't I the polyglot?! Written to a POF woman, 51 who lives in Buffalo - I am guessing this was G&G because she wants someone who can do stuff at the drop of a hat. With me, it would take a bit more planning than that. Not a great first letter, but it got the job done (in that it was written, not that it led to a response or anything...)
Note Dos - Aha! See what I did there? Anyway, another G&G to a 45 year old woman in another state - she had a little in her profile, but not much to go on - so my letter wasn't spectacular...
I am just feeling a little burned out - which is understandable with all the messages I have sent and the few contacts I have made.
Note Tres - Yup, I am on a Spanish number roll - Another G&G to another 45 year old woman also in another state - the same state as the previous one - no, they aren't the same person...this letter had a little more oomph to it - still not awesome, but it will suffice.
Three was all I could manage. The lack of feedback has been underwhelming.
Note Uno - Yes, I know the number One in Spanish. Aren't I the polyglot?! Written to a POF woman, 51 who lives in Buffalo - I am guessing this was G&G because she wants someone who can do stuff at the drop of a hat. With me, it would take a bit more planning than that. Not a great first letter, but it got the job done (in that it was written, not that it led to a response or anything...)
Note Dos - Aha! See what I did there? Anyway, another G&G to a 45 year old woman in another state - she had a little in her profile, but not much to go on - so my letter wasn't spectacular...
I am just feeling a little burned out - which is understandable with all the messages I have sent and the few contacts I have made.
Note Tres - Yup, I am on a Spanish number roll - Another G&G to another 45 year old woman also in another state - the same state as the previous one - no, they aren't the same person...this letter had a little more oomph to it - still not awesome, but it will suffice.
Three was all I could manage. The lack of feedback has been underwhelming.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Feb 23
The month is zipping past. Before we know it, Spring will be here. Rutting time.
First note - last night, just before I went to sleep, I got a notice that someone in Baltimore had made me a favorite. That seemed a bit odd to me. When I checked her profile - Match - 37, TDP a "typical" profile - by which I mean there was not a lot of personality there - "I am this this and this - I am looking for this this and this (usually similar thises (I am sure that isn't a word...)" Best friend, blah, blah, blah. Just didn't feel real to me. And she says she wants someone 50 miles from Baltimore. I am not good at math (anymore) but I think Geneva is just a few miles more than 50 from there. Anyway, I wrote a generic - hi, thank you, are you from - note. I will be shocked if her profile doesn't disappear in a day or two. Even more shocked if I actually hear from her.
Second note - I am going fishing today - I have a lot of tabs open on Plenty of Fish. Sadly, most of them will be for G&G. And before someone else points it out - I do know that I write a lot of people who I probably don't appeal to - for whatever reason - age, distance, looks, etc. But if I didn't write them, I wouldn't have anyone to write to. So there. :)~ Anyway, this woman lives in another state, so I doubt I will hear from her - long profile that really showed she had two personalities - in one part she says she has the IQ of a rabbit and then in the next she says she is intelligent. 47 years old.
Third Note - 55 year old who lives not far away POF - she had one of those long lists of things that someone must fit within in order to be able to send her a note - and I passed! Yay!
Fourth Note - 51 but looks 35 in her picture POF - she lives a little far away and had a one line profile. One of the few I have read that says she is funny - usually women say they are looking for someone who can make them laugh. Honestly, I can make just about anyone laugh. In lots of different languages. And even, sometimes, without language. Yes, I speak slapstick...I set her a brief, uninspired message. She had lovely hair...
Fifth Note - definitely grins and giggle - I just liked the picture of her boots and told her so. 43 in another state. POF
Sixth Note - POF - 56 in yet another state - this one I don't get - she put her personal email in her profile text! POF is free, why would she feel the need to put her address out there? Whatever. Profile was very short - what is up with that. It starts with the word, God, though, so I am more than a little wary. - Oh - got the "only users XX" (in this case, nearby) Maybe I will send a message to her email address...yup that's what I did.
Seventh note - 46 year old - another state - she says she doesn't want someone with dependency issues - I am sure taking care of my mom is considered a dependency issue by some. So this is another G&G on POF. (She wrote back on of those ambiguous notes - not asking a question, not saying she would like to get to know me better - and she said she is 51 not 46. Sigh)
Eighth note - 45 on POF - but I get the feeling she might be older. Or conservative - her profile is very short and again, doesn't give a hint at personality - well, maybe a little one - POF has added an ambition quality to their profiles. You can pick from four I think - not ambitious, ambitious, very ambitious, So freaking ambitious you better watch out (ok, I made up the last one). Since I think that ambition (like all things) is best in moderation, someone who says "Very Ambitious" makes me a little concerned. - Oops, only "certain users." Good, actually, I was getting a weird vibe from her.
She did make me think a bit - she said something about if you keep your promises, we will get along just fine. I asked her if saying you will meet at a certain time is a sort of promise. And if so, then being late would be breaking that promise...
Eighth note - 42 on POF - in another state - also a brief profile - her pictures make her look a little sad - I sent her a brief note - not my best effort - but heck, it is my eighth note (ninth, sort of)
Ninth note - 50 on POF - G&G because, well, I got the vibe that she is conservative. I find that many hairstylists are closet conservatives. Maybe not so closeted...
Tenth Note - 41 on POF - G&G because again, I get the conservative vibe and she lives pretty far away while still being in state.
Eleventh Note - 54 - looks 34 - POF - not too far away - says she is giving her current try 100% - does that mean that she writes back to everyone? We shall see.
Twelfth note - 38 Match woman - she hasn't been online in a while, so maybe she has found someone or something - who knows - and she only goes up to 50 - but I am within her travel distance - mostly writing because I liked her earring - yes, definitely a G&G note - There isn't a lot in her profile to riff off of. That has a lot of f's! - Not an awesome note - hard to write a good note to a basically empty profile.
Thirteenth Note - last note for the time being - maybe forever! Ok, that's unlikely. Anyway, I am not sure how this woman came to appear on my radar. But she did - 54 OK Cupid woman - 93% Match 86% Friend 9% Enemy - despite being a vegetarian, I enjoyed her profile very much. Almost on the p-crush meter.
Fourteenth note - Another random Match woman favorited me. I can't help but think these are not real people. Who knows. I tried chatting with both of them and neither "picked up." So I sent her an email - not expecting much... The other woman who favorited me has already disappeared from the site...
First note - last night, just before I went to sleep, I got a notice that someone in Baltimore had made me a favorite. That seemed a bit odd to me. When I checked her profile - Match - 37, TDP a "typical" profile - by which I mean there was not a lot of personality there - "I am this this and this - I am looking for this this and this (usually similar thises (I am sure that isn't a word...)" Best friend, blah, blah, blah. Just didn't feel real to me. And she says she wants someone 50 miles from Baltimore. I am not good at math (anymore) but I think Geneva is just a few miles more than 50 from there. Anyway, I wrote a generic - hi, thank you, are you from - note. I will be shocked if her profile doesn't disappear in a day or two. Even more shocked if I actually hear from her.
Second note - I am going fishing today - I have a lot of tabs open on Plenty of Fish. Sadly, most of them will be for G&G. And before someone else points it out - I do know that I write a lot of people who I probably don't appeal to - for whatever reason - age, distance, looks, etc. But if I didn't write them, I wouldn't have anyone to write to. So there. :)~ Anyway, this woman lives in another state, so I doubt I will hear from her - long profile that really showed she had two personalities - in one part she says she has the IQ of a rabbit and then in the next she says she is intelligent. 47 years old.
Third Note - 55 year old who lives not far away POF - she had one of those long lists of things that someone must fit within in order to be able to send her a note - and I passed! Yay!
Fourth Note - 51 but looks 35 in her picture POF - she lives a little far away and had a one line profile. One of the few I have read that says she is funny - usually women say they are looking for someone who can make them laugh. Honestly, I can make just about anyone laugh. In lots of different languages. And even, sometimes, without language. Yes, I speak slapstick...I set her a brief, uninspired message. She had lovely hair...
Fifth Note - definitely grins and giggle - I just liked the picture of her boots and told her so. 43 in another state. POF
Sixth Note - POF - 56 in yet another state - this one I don't get - she put her personal email in her profile text! POF is free, why would she feel the need to put her address out there? Whatever. Profile was very short - what is up with that. It starts with the word, God, though, so I am more than a little wary. - Oh - got the "only users XX" (in this case, nearby) Maybe I will send a message to her email address...yup that's what I did.
Seventh note - 46 year old - another state - she says she doesn't want someone with dependency issues - I am sure taking care of my mom is considered a dependency issue by some. So this is another G&G on POF. (She wrote back on of those ambiguous notes - not asking a question, not saying she would like to get to know me better - and she said she is 51 not 46. Sigh)
She did make me think a bit - she said something about if you keep your promises, we will get along just fine. I asked her if saying you will meet at a certain time is a sort of promise. And if so, then being late would be breaking that promise...
Eighth note - 42 on POF - in another state - also a brief profile - her pictures make her look a little sad - I sent her a brief note - not my best effort - but heck, it is my eighth note (ninth, sort of)
Ninth note - 50 on POF - G&G because, well, I got the vibe that she is conservative. I find that many hairstylists are closet conservatives. Maybe not so closeted...
Tenth Note - 41 on POF - G&G because again, I get the conservative vibe and she lives pretty far away while still being in state.
Eleventh Note - 54 - looks 34 - POF - not too far away - says she is giving her current try 100% - does that mean that she writes back to everyone? We shall see.
Twelfth note - 38 Match woman - she hasn't been online in a while, so maybe she has found someone or something - who knows - and she only goes up to 50 - but I am within her travel distance - mostly writing because I liked her earring - yes, definitely a G&G note - There isn't a lot in her profile to riff off of. That has a lot of f's! - Not an awesome note - hard to write a good note to a basically empty profile.
Thirteenth Note - last note for the time being - maybe forever! Ok, that's unlikely. Anyway, I am not sure how this woman came to appear on my radar. But she did - 54 OK Cupid woman - 93% Match 86% Friend 9% Enemy - despite being a vegetarian, I enjoyed her profile very much. Almost on the p-crush meter.
Fourteenth note - Another random Match woman favorited me. I can't help but think these are not real people. Who knows. I tried chatting with both of them and neither "picked up." So I sent her an email - not expecting much... The other woman who favorited me has already disappeared from the site...
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Feb 22
I like that I started on Feb 1 so I know how many days I have been documenting my relationship search and efforts and experiences. Here we are, day 22. There are lots of tabbed people and I have all day off from the Smith. Yay!
I am going to start with the OKC tabs first - then do at least one or two match tabs. And right now there are 7 POF tabs - most of them will be for G&G. It is all about numbers, people!
But before that - I do want to point out that I made a couple of relationship observations in my Life and Such blog. One about "Her Loss" and one about, hmm, something else that my sleepy brain can't come up with without looking. And the last thing I want to do is artificially bump up the number of views a posts get. When I break 50 views, I am so happy, until I realize that 35 of those are me...Ok, I looked. It was about the relationship magnets that authors are supposed to be. Ha.
First Note - G&G - Cause she is in Canada. Sigh. Anyway, OKC woman - 74, 81, 14 (Good things those aren't her measurements! Eeek!!) (Match, Friend, Enemy) Oh, 47 by the way. And if it weren't for me knowing that she will not be interested (reverse magic works occasionally, otherwise I wouldn't use it...) I would rate her on my p-crush scale. But I am trying to do that. Heartache, especially self inflicted (which, actually, most heart ache is in any case), isn't fun. Trying to be unattached...Wrote a great note if I must say so myself.
Wrote a second note to a woman who I wrote to, who visited my profile but didn't choose to write back. She is also in Canada and TDP. Ok, I also sent a note telling her how attractive she was. Whatever.
So that second note, wasn't my second note - though it was - my second note is to an OKC woman who is 53 and lives in NYC - 86% Match 79% Friend 7% Enemy (Ha, copy and paste worked on the percentages - one never knows with web stuff how a copy and paste will work...) - definitely liked her profile - but this is G&G as no real woman from NYC has ever written back with a positive - Let's try this - sort of note. I wrote her a very nice note. Maybe I am getting better at writing notes. Though great notes don't seem to make my reply percentage go up at all...
Third note - which is actually my fifth in some ways - but my third in notes to new to me people - was to an OKC woman in NYC who is 53 - 94% Match 81% Friend 8% Enemy. I will, whenever the woman is at least moderately attractive physically (yes, I am a physical-ist) write to someone regardless of location when the percentages are like this. She wants regular contact - and if she means physical contact in real time in real space, then for sure she won't write back a "heck, I'm game" note. Another good note - sometimes I worry that I will send a good note to a person whose profile was appealing, only to hear back and have "reaching out-ers regret" when they actually write back. So far, hasn't happened. But it is a worry...(She wrote and distance was the excuse.)
Fourth note - definitely G&G - this woman looked at my profile and didn't write - 81% Match 76% Friend 22% Enemy - 45 years old - lives in a different country (neighbor to the North) She says she is highly attracted to intelligence. I have some of that. Her profile was good, not great - too many little errors make for a bit of a red flag - but that could be haste or just laziness (neither of which are bad in moderation)(I could be accused of both of them at times) - 81% Match 76% Friend 22% Enemy - her photo also looks, I don't know, like a professional photo - not candid. Hmm. I wrote a decent note. She did view me first and she did say "located anywhere" so who knows. Maybe I will get at least a little decent conversation from her. That would be nifty. (Well, she wrote back once and actually asked a question - maybe I will have a dialogue with her)(Nah, not likely...)
Just now I had another thought - one which seems pretty obvious now - one's fears about the other person are just the inverse of one's own insecurities. That being said, I don't really believe that I am insecure about these things - I am, though, aware of them as potential areas of discongruity.
Here is a relationship story not related to dating sites. I have a friend (yes, I know, a little shocking) and this friend has a Facebook Page. And on her facebook page, she has her friends. Well, one of those friends posted a comment on something and from the thumbnail, I thought I would like to see a large image of her. So I clicked through to her the friend's friend's page. I must admit to a bit of an immediate e-crush. I mentioned this to my friend and we will see what happens from there. Meanwhile, I got to thinking - I do that way too much sometimes - and here is what my sour grapes mentality came up with before we have even communicated (if that should even happen (should in the future sense, not the "ought to" sense)):
she is too young,
too pretty,
too far away,
not intelligent enough
and not experienced enough to be someone who is attracted to me.
What this might mean is that I think
I am too old (which I am, I guess, though my age doesn't bother me - especially since I feel like I am 20 years younger than my physical age most of the time),
not handsome enough (that is totally subjective - I have my moments of thinking that I am really, really handsome - other moments of "eww, what is that in the mirror" - other moments of - my hair and beard might be unappealing to some etc.) (Overall, I think I am above average in looks...)
too far away (distance, I really believe, is in the mind. And circumstances change. Either of us could move - both of us could move - in the meantime there are modes of transportation and pretty amazing communication technologies to help bridge that gap until such time that the physical distance between us is minimized)
too damn smart for my own good (nothing to do about this - I think I am pretty smart and find that most people just don't seem as smart as I am) (there are though, other kinds of intelligence and smarts - and finding someone smart - how important is that really in my desire to be in a relationship - which reminds me of a woman I met yesterday...but that is not for this part of the blog...)
too experienced (and finding someone who has had anywhere near as many as excellent experiences as I have is definitely a challenge) to find someone who will love me for who I am.
I have to face it that I am a pretty damn intimidating package. :)
So, yesterday, I met or at least interacted with two women, both of whom were attractive to me in very different ways. Two vastly different ages, looks, personalities, jobs etc. Will I follow up with either of them? Doubtful. But it was fun doing the flirting, for sure! (Ok, honestly, I mostly flirted with one, the other, I just thought about flirting with her..)
Fifth Note - Match woman who is 48 - looking for a next door neighbor who is her age. Despite having a length profile I didn't really get much of a sense of who she is. I did get the feeling that she wouldn't be interested in me - I am not conservative enough. We shall of course, see. Not my best message effort.
Sixth Note - Match woman who is 45 and apparently likes the Finger Lakes - a lot! Yay! I liked her profile, but again, I didn't get much of a sense of her particularly. I wonder if it is my eyes or just the people I am choosing to write to today. Sent an ok note.
I am going to start with the OKC tabs first - then do at least one or two match tabs. And right now there are 7 POF tabs - most of them will be for G&G. It is all about numbers, people!
But before that - I do want to point out that I made a couple of relationship observations in my Life and Such blog. One about "Her Loss" and one about, hmm, something else that my sleepy brain can't come up with without looking. And the last thing I want to do is artificially bump up the number of views a posts get. When I break 50 views, I am so happy, until I realize that 35 of those are me...Ok, I looked. It was about the relationship magnets that authors are supposed to be. Ha.
First Note - G&G - Cause she is in Canada. Sigh. Anyway, OKC woman - 74, 81, 14 (Good things those aren't her measurements! Eeek!!) (Match, Friend, Enemy) Oh, 47 by the way. And if it weren't for me knowing that she will not be interested (reverse magic works occasionally, otherwise I wouldn't use it...) I would rate her on my p-crush scale. But I am trying to do that. Heartache, especially self inflicted (which, actually, most heart ache is in any case), isn't fun. Trying to be unattached...Wrote a great note if I must say so myself.
Wrote a second note to a woman who I wrote to, who visited my profile but didn't choose to write back. She is also in Canada and TDP. Ok, I also sent a note telling her how attractive she was. Whatever.
So that second note, wasn't my second note - though it was - my second note is to an OKC woman who is 53 and lives in NYC - 86% Match 79% Friend 7% Enemy (Ha, copy and paste worked on the percentages - one never knows with web stuff how a copy and paste will work...) - definitely liked her profile - but this is G&G as no real woman from NYC has ever written back with a positive - Let's try this - sort of note. I wrote her a very nice note. Maybe I am getting better at writing notes. Though great notes don't seem to make my reply percentage go up at all...
Third note - which is actually my fifth in some ways - but my third in notes to new to me people - was to an OKC woman in NYC who is 53 - 94% Match 81% Friend 8% Enemy. I will, whenever the woman is at least moderately attractive physically (yes, I am a physical-ist) write to someone regardless of location when the percentages are like this. She wants regular contact - and if she means physical contact in real time in real space, then for sure she won't write back a "heck, I'm game" note. Another good note - sometimes I worry that I will send a good note to a person whose profile was appealing, only to hear back and have "reaching out-ers regret" when they actually write back. So far, hasn't happened. But it is a worry...(She wrote and distance was the excuse.)
Fourth note - definitely G&G - this woman looked at my profile and didn't write - 81% Match 76% Friend 22% Enemy - 45 years old - lives in a different country (neighbor to the North) She says she is highly attracted to intelligence. I have some of that. Her profile was good, not great - too many little errors make for a bit of a red flag - but that could be haste or just laziness (neither of which are bad in moderation)(I could be accused of both of them at times) - 81% Match 76% Friend 22% Enemy - her photo also looks, I don't know, like a professional photo - not candid. Hmm. I wrote a decent note. She did view me first and she did say "located anywhere" so who knows. Maybe I will get at least a little decent conversation from her. That would be nifty. (Well, she wrote back once and actually asked a question - maybe I will have a dialogue with her)(Nah, not likely...)
Just now I had another thought - one which seems pretty obvious now - one's fears about the other person are just the inverse of one's own insecurities. That being said, I don't really believe that I am insecure about these things - I am, though, aware of them as potential areas of discongruity.
Here is a relationship story not related to dating sites. I have a friend (yes, I know, a little shocking) and this friend has a Facebook Page. And on her facebook page, she has her friends. Well, one of those friends posted a comment on something and from the thumbnail, I thought I would like to see a large image of her. So I clicked through to her the friend's friend's page. I must admit to a bit of an immediate e-crush. I mentioned this to my friend and we will see what happens from there. Meanwhile, I got to thinking - I do that way too much sometimes - and here is what my sour grapes mentality came up with before we have even communicated (if that should even happen (should in the future sense, not the "ought to" sense)):
she is too young,
too pretty,
too far away,
not intelligent enough
and not experienced enough to be someone who is attracted to me.
What this might mean is that I think
I am too old (which I am, I guess, though my age doesn't bother me - especially since I feel like I am 20 years younger than my physical age most of the time),
not handsome enough (that is totally subjective - I have my moments of thinking that I am really, really handsome - other moments of "eww, what is that in the mirror" - other moments of - my hair and beard might be unappealing to some etc.) (Overall, I think I am above average in looks...)
too far away (distance, I really believe, is in the mind. And circumstances change. Either of us could move - both of us could move - in the meantime there are modes of transportation and pretty amazing communication technologies to help bridge that gap until such time that the physical distance between us is minimized)
too damn smart for my own good (nothing to do about this - I think I am pretty smart and find that most people just don't seem as smart as I am) (there are though, other kinds of intelligence and smarts - and finding someone smart - how important is that really in my desire to be in a relationship - which reminds me of a woman I met yesterday...but that is not for this part of the blog...)
too experienced (and finding someone who has had anywhere near as many as excellent experiences as I have is definitely a challenge) to find someone who will love me for who I am.
I have to face it that I am a pretty damn intimidating package. :)
So, yesterday, I met or at least interacted with two women, both of whom were attractive to me in very different ways. Two vastly different ages, looks, personalities, jobs etc. Will I follow up with either of them? Doubtful. But it was fun doing the flirting, for sure! (Ok, honestly, I mostly flirted with one, the other, I just thought about flirting with her..)
Fifth Note - Match woman who is 48 - looking for a next door neighbor who is her age. Despite having a length profile I didn't really get much of a sense of who she is. I did get the feeling that she wouldn't be interested in me - I am not conservative enough. We shall of course, see. Not my best message effort.
Sixth Note - Match woman who is 45 and apparently likes the Finger Lakes - a lot! Yay! I liked her profile, but again, I didn't get much of a sense of her particularly. I wonder if it is my eyes or just the people I am choosing to write to today. Sent an ok note.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Feb 21
Maybe I would have more luck if I were in a larger urban area - like Toronto or NY City. When I am on OKC, I get a lot of suggested matches who live in those two places. And I find a lot of them appealing. Unfortunately, I get maybe 3 a month who are within 15 minutes of my house and of them, I only find 1 of 10 appealing. Sigh.
Anyway, my first note was to an OKC woman - 42 - 87% Match, 49% Friend, 13% enemy - who only wants someone up to 46 and who lives near her which I do not. I wrote a great note, if I must say so myself. Really great. She put in some actual crap notes she had received - the two or three word kind - so I started my note with a conglomeration of those. It was funny (at least I hope she thinks so). I have found, though, that most people from the city in which she lives don't respond. What the heck does "near me" mean? I thought it meant - near enough that we can get something started and see where it goes. Though, as I have mentioned before, in reality it means - if it takes more than 15 minutes to reach me, it isn't worth the effort. These people would not have survived life on the Chisholm Trail!
I love flirting. Or as Joni Mitchell says - We love our lovin'. Today there was a new person at work, not someone I am likely to run into again - no, I didn't ask for her number or anything. I might as her friend about her, but...anyway, it was just fun to flirt with someone. Yay!
Second note - 49 year old match woman who lives not far - but hasn't been online in a while. She reminds me of my childhood sweetheart. I dropped her a teeny line, not expecting much.
Third note - 48 year old match woman who lives near-ish - she made me a favorite, so I dropped her a line. Why the heck not? (She wrote me a note back - then commented on one of my pictures - I wrote back, but her profile had been hidden so I don't really know if she found someone or is just overwhelmed or what - haven't heard back again - one and out?)
Fourth Note - 45 year old POF woman in a town not too far away. There is something in her brief profile that makes me think it highly unlikely she will respond. I have been wrong once or twice...
Fifth Note - POF woman who is 40 and lives within 75 miles. That's a nice round distance that POF lets people choose for a dating distance qualifier. She appeared as a recommended person after I wrote my fourth note. Actually a few women were recommended and I am going to write a couple of them. This one, though, did start my p-crush indicator wobbling a little. As always hopeful of a conversation leading to a date leading to a relationship. What has experience taught me, though? And what is one definition of crazy? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Sigh. Am I crazy? At least, though the walls seem similar, I am beating my head against a bunch of different walls. So it is the same thing over and over again? Or am I stepping into a different (yet similar) river every time? Hmm. Anyway, my breath is held...Oh, just a note - since I started up on POF, I have not received one reply.
Sixth Note - POF Woman who is 44 and lives near the previous woman. Maybe they are neighbors. Or friends? Maybe they will fight over who has the right to date me! Hahahahahahaha. Ha.
Ok, there are five more tabbed women. Most of them are G&G - I know that they are too far away or whatever and won't write back. One of them, though, does rank on the p-crush scale. Actually two of them do. I might write them when I get back from the movie tonight. Nope, not going to write them tonight. Tomorrow is another day.
Well, that is a bit sad. A woman I have met once and been corresponding with for a while has said, after even more emails, that she doesn't think she will have time for us to get together again until she finished school - 20 months from now. Her time management skills probably need some honing. I guess I just wasn't a priority for her. Nor was finding someone new to hang out with. Why she was ever on a dating site in the first place is a question to which I will likely never have an answer. Whatever. Her loss.
Her is another observation. Women met in real life just seem to me to automatically be more attractive than women I meet through the internet. I wonder why that is. Yesterday and today, for instance, I met new to me people who were not necessarily more attractive in any way than people I am interested in on the internet, but for some reason they just felt more attractive. Maybe because they are more tangible?
Anyway, my first note was to an OKC woman - 42 - 87% Match, 49% Friend, 13% enemy - who only wants someone up to 46 and who lives near her which I do not. I wrote a great note, if I must say so myself. Really great. She put in some actual crap notes she had received - the two or three word kind - so I started my note with a conglomeration of those. It was funny (at least I hope she thinks so). I have found, though, that most people from the city in which she lives don't respond. What the heck does "near me" mean? I thought it meant - near enough that we can get something started and see where it goes. Though, as I have mentioned before, in reality it means - if it takes more than 15 minutes to reach me, it isn't worth the effort. These people would not have survived life on the Chisholm Trail!
I love flirting. Or as Joni Mitchell says - We love our lovin'. Today there was a new person at work, not someone I am likely to run into again - no, I didn't ask for her number or anything. I might as her friend about her, but...anyway, it was just fun to flirt with someone. Yay!
Second note - 49 year old match woman who lives not far - but hasn't been online in a while. She reminds me of my childhood sweetheart. I dropped her a teeny line, not expecting much.
Third note - 48 year old match woman who lives near-ish - she made me a favorite, so I dropped her a line. Why the heck not? (She wrote me a note back - then commented on one of my pictures - I wrote back, but her profile had been hidden so I don't really know if she found someone or is just overwhelmed or what - haven't heard back again - one and out?)
Fourth Note - 45 year old POF woman in a town not too far away. There is something in her brief profile that makes me think it highly unlikely she will respond. I have been wrong once or twice...
Fifth Note - POF woman who is 40 and lives within 75 miles. That's a nice round distance that POF lets people choose for a dating distance qualifier. She appeared as a recommended person after I wrote my fourth note. Actually a few women were recommended and I am going to write a couple of them. This one, though, did start my p-crush indicator wobbling a little. As always hopeful of a conversation leading to a date leading to a relationship. What has experience taught me, though? And what is one definition of crazy? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Sigh. Am I crazy? At least, though the walls seem similar, I am beating my head against a bunch of different walls. So it is the same thing over and over again? Or am I stepping into a different (yet similar) river every time? Hmm. Anyway, my breath is held...Oh, just a note - since I started up on POF, I have not received one reply.
Sixth Note - POF Woman who is 44 and lives near the previous woman. Maybe they are neighbors. Or friends? Maybe they will fight over who has the right to date me! Hahahahahahaha. Ha.
Ok, there are five more tabbed women. Most of them are G&G - I know that they are too far away or whatever and won't write back. One of them, though, does rank on the p-crush scale. Actually two of them do. I might write them when I get back from the movie tonight. Nope, not going to write them tonight. Tomorrow is another day.
Well, that is a bit sad. A woman I have met once and been corresponding with for a while has said, after even more emails, that she doesn't think she will have time for us to get together again until she finished school - 20 months from now. Her time management skills probably need some honing. I guess I just wasn't a priority for her. Nor was finding someone new to hang out with. Why she was ever on a dating site in the first place is a question to which I will likely never have an answer. Whatever. Her loss.
Her is another observation. Women met in real life just seem to me to automatically be more attractive than women I meet through the internet. I wonder why that is. Yesterday and today, for instance, I met new to me people who were not necessarily more attractive in any way than people I am interested in on the internet, but for some reason they just felt more attractive. Maybe because they are more tangible?
Friday, February 21, 2014
Feb 20
Still hoping that one of the one note people was not really a won note person. But not holding out a lot of hope for that. We shall, of course, see. (Do I say that a lot? It feels like I say that a lot. I guess it might be one of my phrases - like "Sounds like a plan.")(I know I don't type that a lot, but I know I do say "Sounds like a plan" a lot.)
Again, multiple tabs have somehow found there way into my browser window. By the way, I love the idea of tabs in browser - whoever came up with that idea is a genius! I hope they were well rewarded by their company...
I have a couple of profile observations to make. If a person puts Auto racing/motocross as one of the sports they like, I am guessing we probably won't be a great match. Or if one of the activities they enjoy is 4 wheeling. And most people who are enthusiastic about all things water - they might be appealing to me in lots of other ways, but I am guessing we won't hit it off. This is not to say that I won't write them anyway, and I would be happy to be wrong. It just is a feeling I get and a sense I have from observation...
I think I get a p-crush (profile crush) on one in about twenty profiles. And the p-crush varies in intensity - from a 1 - a slightly more elevated level of interest than in general to a 10 - I lie awake for hours wondering if I should write and what I ought to write and if I wrote how long will it be before she responds and if she doesn't respond in what amount of time should I write again and if so what should I say and please oh please let her at least write me back once and then we can go from there unless she writes me a thank you but no thank you letter and then do I write back anything other than a thank you for at least taking the time to write letter or god has it only been five minutes since I sent that message...
First Note - I am going to break with my normal pattern and start with a note to a p-crush level 3 instead of writing some warm-up notes to others first. OKC woman (I don't know why I keep writing woman since I am not likely at this point in my life to start finding men to be attractive as romantic and sexual partners...) 44 - 87% Match, 78% Friend, 18% enemy - lives a bit farther than is comfortable, but is looking for people anywhere and even my age (and older). Her profile is well fleshed out, interesting, funny and thoughtful. Her pictures are appealing as well. So, here goes nothing...ok, killer first note if I must say so myself. Witty, friendly, showing I really looked at her profile and asking her a few simple to respond to questions, while making it clear that I was actually interested. One red flag is that she said she is available, not single. Not really sure what that means...Fingers crossed!
Three of the people on OKC that I am going to send messages to are just for grins and giggles. I think one of them, at least, is a fake profile. Maybe all three are.
Second Note - OKC woman - 54 - looks 34 in her pictures - no profile text at all - answered no questions so no match percentages - but heck, I don't have a problem going in blind! Leaps of faith - that is what life is all about! Geronimo! My guess is this is a fake profile.
Third Note - OKC Woman - 45 years old - no questions answered so no match percentage - very brief profile that doesn't give much of a clue about who she is - just that she spells armour the British way...I think maybe another fake profile. I actually think I wrote her before, long ago. I guess I will find out.
Fourth Note - OKC Woman - 36 years old - so right at the bottom of my hoped for age range - no questions answered. She does have a decently filled out profile. Red flags are: Her profile picture looks more like a modeling/glam shot than a real picture - she asks for "real" people - and she says that she has a hard time logging in - which I take to mean that if she does write back, she will immediately ask for an email address at which to write - perhaps giving one in exchange. Since I am out of her age range, though, I don't expect to hear back in any case...
The next 3 OKC people are all of interest to me. Not to register on the p-crush scale - but they all seem real and interesting. One of them has too low (for me) a top age desire, but I will write to her anyway - just because I love to waste everyone's time. :)
Fifth Note - OKC Woman 36 years old - I love her handle - I would tell you, but I am trying to maintain a bit of privacy for these people - 80% Match, 65% Friend and 9% enemy - she says she is bisexual - always interesting to me for some reason - and not too far away. And I am within her age range selection. Yay. Decent first note, but not the best effort.
Sixth note - OKC 39 year old woman with the low top age (she wants 40 - I am sure she won't respond positively (more likely she won't respond at all) - Match percentages should trump age requirements - anyway - Match 74%, Friend 55% and Enemy 12% - ok, not fantastic percentages - truthfully, she just appealed. I basically just told her that she appealed and that I didn't expect to hear from her. Next! (She wrote back and said I was sweet - a lot better than nothing!)
Seventh Note - OKC woman - 43 years old - lives too far away for comfort - so I am guessing no letter back - but I liked her profile and pictures and I feel compelled to write - not a p-crush but not chopped liver either. Match 86%, Friend 79%, Enemy 12% (She wrote back and said "Great Message." Then proceeded to write what I thought was a little hurtful - "But I really don't have a need or desire for a long distance acquaintance." Wow. Ouch. Whatever.
Ok, I am just about ready to quit. Not really. It's just so futile feeling at times. I will soldier on. Tomorrow is another day.
Again, multiple tabs have somehow found there way into my browser window. By the way, I love the idea of tabs in browser - whoever came up with that idea is a genius! I hope they were well rewarded by their company...
I have a couple of profile observations to make. If a person puts Auto racing/motocross as one of the sports they like, I am guessing we probably won't be a great match. Or if one of the activities they enjoy is 4 wheeling. And most people who are enthusiastic about all things water - they might be appealing to me in lots of other ways, but I am guessing we won't hit it off. This is not to say that I won't write them anyway, and I would be happy to be wrong. It just is a feeling I get and a sense I have from observation...
I think I get a p-crush (profile crush) on one in about twenty profiles. And the p-crush varies in intensity - from a 1 - a slightly more elevated level of interest than in general to a 10 - I lie awake for hours wondering if I should write and what I ought to write and if I wrote how long will it be before she responds and if she doesn't respond in what amount of time should I write again and if so what should I say and please oh please let her at least write me back once and then we can go from there unless she writes me a thank you but no thank you letter and then do I write back anything other than a thank you for at least taking the time to write letter or god has it only been five minutes since I sent that message...
First Note - I am going to break with my normal pattern and start with a note to a p-crush level 3 instead of writing some warm-up notes to others first. OKC woman (I don't know why I keep writing woman since I am not likely at this point in my life to start finding men to be attractive as romantic and sexual partners...) 44 - 87% Match, 78% Friend, 18% enemy - lives a bit farther than is comfortable, but is looking for people anywhere and even my age (and older). Her profile is well fleshed out, interesting, funny and thoughtful. Her pictures are appealing as well. So, here goes nothing...ok, killer first note if I must say so myself. Witty, friendly, showing I really looked at her profile and asking her a few simple to respond to questions, while making it clear that I was actually interested. One red flag is that she said she is available, not single. Not really sure what that means...Fingers crossed!
Three of the people on OKC that I am going to send messages to are just for grins and giggles. I think one of them, at least, is a fake profile. Maybe all three are.
Second Note - OKC woman - 54 - looks 34 in her pictures - no profile text at all - answered no questions so no match percentages - but heck, I don't have a problem going in blind! Leaps of faith - that is what life is all about! Geronimo! My guess is this is a fake profile.
Third Note - OKC Woman - 45 years old - no questions answered so no match percentage - very brief profile that doesn't give much of a clue about who she is - just that she spells armour the British way...I think maybe another fake profile. I actually think I wrote her before, long ago. I guess I will find out.
Fourth Note - OKC Woman - 36 years old - so right at the bottom of my hoped for age range - no questions answered. She does have a decently filled out profile. Red flags are: Her profile picture looks more like a modeling/glam shot than a real picture - she asks for "real" people - and she says that she has a hard time logging in - which I take to mean that if she does write back, she will immediately ask for an email address at which to write - perhaps giving one in exchange. Since I am out of her age range, though, I don't expect to hear back in any case...
The next 3 OKC people are all of interest to me. Not to register on the p-crush scale - but they all seem real and interesting. One of them has too low (for me) a top age desire, but I will write to her anyway - just because I love to waste everyone's time. :)
Fifth Note - OKC Woman 36 years old - I love her handle - I would tell you, but I am trying to maintain a bit of privacy for these people - 80% Match, 65% Friend and 9% enemy - she says she is bisexual - always interesting to me for some reason - and not too far away. And I am within her age range selection. Yay. Decent first note, but not the best effort.
Sixth note - OKC 39 year old woman with the low top age (she wants 40 - I am sure she won't respond positively (more likely she won't respond at all) - Match percentages should trump age requirements - anyway - Match 74%, Friend 55% and Enemy 12% - ok, not fantastic percentages - truthfully, she just appealed. I basically just told her that she appealed and that I didn't expect to hear from her. Next! (She wrote back and said I was sweet - a lot better than nothing!)
Seventh Note - OKC woman - 43 years old - lives too far away for comfort - so I am guessing no letter back - but I liked her profile and pictures and I feel compelled to write - not a p-crush but not chopped liver either. Match 86%, Friend 79%, Enemy 12% (She wrote back and said "Great Message." Then proceeded to write what I thought was a little hurtful - "But I really don't have a need or desire for a long distance acquaintance." Wow. Ouch. Whatever.
Ok, I am just about ready to quit. Not really. It's just so futile feeling at times. I will soldier on. Tomorrow is another day.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Feb 19
Wow, I have a lot of open tabs. Will I or won't I write to the 15 people or will I whittle away at them as I realize that "correspondence is futile." (Yes, I have been binge watching Star Trek, TNG. Sigh.)
What I did do is send a message to a woman who has been weighing on my mind a bit. I first wrote her on the 17th and although she looked at my profile, a couple of times, she didn't write. Maybe she doesn't like to initiate correspondence. Maybe she is swamped with all of the letters she has been getting. Maybe I really, really seemed icky, gross and disgusting and she couldn't bear the thought of communicating with me. Or maybe, she picked up some vibe from my profile that warned her off. Or maybe one of 8 gazillion reasons. Whatever. Really, what she thinks is none of my business. (This thought, by the way, is from one of the interpersonal training workshops that I have attended over the years. And it is a powerful one. The "take-away" from it is that what other people think or believe or feel really has nothing to do with me. It is all their stuff. And as such (it being their stuff and nor really related to me) is none of my business.) But I drafted a decent second note - even got a second opinion on it, and finally sent it off today. Will I hear back? I hope so. Do I think I will hear back? Nope. Not pessimism - realism. Anyone who is reading this (is anyone reading this?) will have noticed that I get about 1 in ten responses. So the odds are just plain bad that she will respond. Moving on.
I guess part of the issue is just how serious someone is when they say they are willing to just make new friends even if it doesn't lead to a relationship. Generally I have found this to be untrue. Or not untrue exactly, but not something that ever happens. I do my best to keep a correspondence going - or a friendship even. But both a correspondence and a friendship take certain levels of effort and consistency that seems difficult to sustain.
Ok, I would like to write a few messages before going on with other things - I think I will start with the ones that have been "parked" in tabs the longest and move to the newer found ones.
First Note - OKC Woman - 37 years old - 84% Match, 79% Friend, 4% Enemy - that's pretty good, right?! She does say she is bisexual and last time I checked I was one of the two genders. So far, so good. She caps her age limit at 50 but I am well with her distance parameter - maybe. Near Me to one person means 50 yards, to another means 100 miles. Sigh. Anyway, honestly, I think she is looking for a bunch of friends more than she is specifically looking for a relationship at this point. So near me, probably means more like the 50 yards than the hours drive away that I am. Hmm, to write or not to write. Well, I will at least drop her a line. I know I like to get nice emails even if it doesn't lead to a relationship or anything...
Second Note - Match woman - 47 - she had no distance limit mentioned, so I wrote - she hasn't been online in a while - so I don't think that is ever a good sign for getting a response - and she likes some things that might indicate less than optimal matchiness. I just sent her a pleasant note - nothing too fancy.
Third note - Match woman - 53 - not too far away - though her top age limit is 50 - interesting, that. Not much to her profile. And she says she is trying to quit smoking. Sigh. Some survey said that only 20 percent of the population smokes. I would think that is inaccurate from my observations. I think that only 20 percent admit to smoking...anyway, I wrote her a short, not too exciting note. Ice breaker is about it.
You know, I don't know how I would feel if the woman I was actually attracted the most to wrote back. Would I immediately get buyer's remorse? Or would I be thrilled? And if it all came down to, in Joni Mitchell's words "smoking ash" after a bit of communication, would I be happier or sadder in my life? Or in the greater scope of things, does any of it really matter? Anyway...Well, she did write back with a nice letter saying I was too interesting for the point in her life at which she finds herself. Her loss. Next. (Also from an interpersonal communication class I took - a very helpful thing indeed.)
Fourth note - OKC woman - 46 years old - in a town nearby - 93% Match - 87% Friend and 7% Enemy - come on - it doesn't get much better than that. Then again, maybe she only answered 10 questions, so the sample isn't that large...I sent her a decent first note. (She responded...)(A couple of notes and then nothing...)
I decided not to write one of the woman I had tabbed. Moving forward...
And another - because, well, I think she is too country and I am too rock and roll - er urban.
And another not being written to - the match percentages aren't that high and though she has an interesting profile, I just am not feeling it. Perhaps it is because of the pleasant rejection I just received, or maybe I am just not in the mood...
Fifth note - OKC woman who showed up in my quiver - OKC puts 3 people they think are really good matches into a special tab called a quiver. I have found that most of the time, I am not all that thrilled by my quiver-ites. Every once in a while there is a decent one, though. This one was 51 and lives in the big apple - so too far, really. She had a lovely profile and seemed like a person it would be nice to get to know. At the end of her profile, though, she said she would not respond to anyone who had not been married and divorced or who had not had children. I sent her a note anyway, not expecting a reply. We will call this one G&G.
Sixth note - though this is really a second note to someone who didn't respond to my first nice note. Yes, this note was nice too. I don't generally write mean notes - though I am sometimes tempted to. Expectations - not so high, despite high ratings - OKC woman - 47 - not too far - 94% match - 81% Friend and 10% enemy - and she won't even bother to write back, I bet. Yup, working out my frustrations through blogging about them. Yippee!
Ok, going to skip the next one too - I just think she looks too somber. Looks can be deceiving of course, but still...
Seventh Note - POF - 45 year old living not too far away - one word profile text which is a little bit of a warning - meaning that she isn't all that invested in the process. So I doubt I will hear from her.
Eighth Note - Match.com - 49 year old lives not a long way off - I was excited by her profile and pictures and got a little less so after I sent the message. She is also looking for someone secure financially - not me - and from some things in her profile, she is not as free spirited as I thought she was. Oh well. (Wrote a not very clear response note - I got the sense that she wasn't interested in getting to know me better, but I wrote back for clarification)
Just exed another. She looked at my profile and had an empty profile herself. I was tempted, butI just wasn't up for it.
I wrote a second note to a match woman. Match said she looked at my profile again - though I don't know that that is necessarily true. So just a brief note to say I was still interested. Not really holding out much hope, though...
What I did do is send a message to a woman who has been weighing on my mind a bit. I first wrote her on the 17th and although she looked at my profile, a couple of times, she didn't write. Maybe she doesn't like to initiate correspondence. Maybe she is swamped with all of the letters she has been getting. Maybe I really, really seemed icky, gross and disgusting and she couldn't bear the thought of communicating with me. Or maybe, she picked up some vibe from my profile that warned her off. Or maybe one of 8 gazillion reasons. Whatever. Really, what she thinks is none of my business. (This thought, by the way, is from one of the interpersonal training workshops that I have attended over the years. And it is a powerful one. The "take-away" from it is that what other people think or believe or feel really has nothing to do with me. It is all their stuff. And as such (it being their stuff and nor really related to me) is none of my business.) But I drafted a decent second note - even got a second opinion on it, and finally sent it off today. Will I hear back? I hope so. Do I think I will hear back? Nope. Not pessimism - realism. Anyone who is reading this (is anyone reading this?) will have noticed that I get about 1 in ten responses. So the odds are just plain bad that she will respond. Moving on.
I guess part of the issue is just how serious someone is when they say they are willing to just make new friends even if it doesn't lead to a relationship. Generally I have found this to be untrue. Or not untrue exactly, but not something that ever happens. I do my best to keep a correspondence going - or a friendship even. But both a correspondence and a friendship take certain levels of effort and consistency that seems difficult to sustain.
Ok, I would like to write a few messages before going on with other things - I think I will start with the ones that have been "parked" in tabs the longest and move to the newer found ones.
First Note - OKC Woman - 37 years old - 84% Match, 79% Friend, 4% Enemy - that's pretty good, right?! She does say she is bisexual and last time I checked I was one of the two genders. So far, so good. She caps her age limit at 50 but I am well with her distance parameter - maybe. Near Me to one person means 50 yards, to another means 100 miles. Sigh. Anyway, honestly, I think she is looking for a bunch of friends more than she is specifically looking for a relationship at this point. So near me, probably means more like the 50 yards than the hours drive away that I am. Hmm, to write or not to write. Well, I will at least drop her a line. I know I like to get nice emails even if it doesn't lead to a relationship or anything...
Second Note - Match woman - 47 - she had no distance limit mentioned, so I wrote - she hasn't been online in a while - so I don't think that is ever a good sign for getting a response - and she likes some things that might indicate less than optimal matchiness. I just sent her a pleasant note - nothing too fancy.
Third note - Match woman - 53 - not too far away - though her top age limit is 50 - interesting, that. Not much to her profile. And she says she is trying to quit smoking. Sigh. Some survey said that only 20 percent of the population smokes. I would think that is inaccurate from my observations. I think that only 20 percent admit to smoking...anyway, I wrote her a short, not too exciting note. Ice breaker is about it.
You know, I don't know how I would feel if the woman I was actually attracted the most to wrote back. Would I immediately get buyer's remorse? Or would I be thrilled? And if it all came down to, in Joni Mitchell's words "smoking ash" after a bit of communication, would I be happier or sadder in my life? Or in the greater scope of things, does any of it really matter? Anyway...Well, she did write back with a nice letter saying I was too interesting for the point in her life at which she finds herself. Her loss. Next. (Also from an interpersonal communication class I took - a very helpful thing indeed.)
Fourth note - OKC woman - 46 years old - in a town nearby - 93% Match - 87% Friend and 7% Enemy - come on - it doesn't get much better than that. Then again, maybe she only answered 10 questions, so the sample isn't that large...I sent her a decent first note. (She responded...)(A couple of notes and then nothing...)
I decided not to write one of the woman I had tabbed. Moving forward...
And another - because, well, I think she is too country and I am too rock and roll - er urban.
And another not being written to - the match percentages aren't that high and though she has an interesting profile, I just am not feeling it. Perhaps it is because of the pleasant rejection I just received, or maybe I am just not in the mood...
Fifth note - OKC woman who showed up in my quiver - OKC puts 3 people they think are really good matches into a special tab called a quiver. I have found that most of the time, I am not all that thrilled by my quiver-ites. Every once in a while there is a decent one, though. This one was 51 and lives in the big apple - so too far, really. She had a lovely profile and seemed like a person it would be nice to get to know. At the end of her profile, though, she said she would not respond to anyone who had not been married and divorced or who had not had children. I sent her a note anyway, not expecting a reply. We will call this one G&G.
Sixth note - though this is really a second note to someone who didn't respond to my first nice note. Yes, this note was nice too. I don't generally write mean notes - though I am sometimes tempted to. Expectations - not so high, despite high ratings - OKC woman - 47 - not too far - 94% match - 81% Friend and 10% enemy - and she won't even bother to write back, I bet. Yup, working out my frustrations through blogging about them. Yippee!
Ok, going to skip the next one too - I just think she looks too somber. Looks can be deceiving of course, but still...
Seventh Note - POF - 45 year old living not too far away - one word profile text which is a little bit of a warning - meaning that she isn't all that invested in the process. So I doubt I will hear from her.
Eighth Note - Match.com - 49 year old lives not a long way off - I was excited by her profile and pictures and got a little less so after I sent the message. She is also looking for someone secure financially - not me - and from some things in her profile, she is not as free spirited as I thought she was. Oh well. (Wrote a not very clear response note - I got the sense that she wasn't interested in getting to know me better, but I wrote back for clarification)
Just exed another. She looked at my profile and had an empty profile herself. I was tempted, butI just wasn't up for it.
I wrote a second note to a match woman. Match said she looked at my profile again - though I don't know that that is necessarily true. So just a brief note to say I was still interested. Not really holding out much hope, though...
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