This sounds like a sociological study - doesn't it! Sometimes I wish I had studied more social science. Anthropology, Sociology - that sort of thing. But I didn't. Except through osmosis and 50+ years of living...
What follows are some thoughts that started in a thread with a correspondent. I know that I have written some of these same thoughts in my relationship book. Sigh - it sits on the computer and on the shelf - unedited and abandoned. Maybe I will get it done one day. Still looking for a female editor/co-writer...
Gender comes in a wide range of flavors - where straight men are
concerned I would say the gamut runs from Masculine men through men who
are balanced with their male and female natures to effeminate men. As straight men, we
all prefer women to be our sexual partners - but the women who appeal to
us differ. Masculine men I would think would be more interested in
Feminine women. Men in the middle might gravitate to women in the middle
and men who are more effeminate might like stronger, more masculine
women. Of course, this is broad stroke generalizing - this isn't true in
all cases, but I think it could sort of be true overall. As an
independent woman, one is more apt to attract either a man who is not
as independent or someone who is in the middle more than someone who sees
himself as the rugged manly man who might feel himself a knight in
shining armor.
What the percentages are, I don't know. Is it a
bell curve? With most men falling on either side and few in the middle - a very pointy curve perhaps. Life
is fairly replete with bell curve distribution - with lots of different
shapes to said curve style.
By
the way, I am 52-3, 6'1" head full of darkish hair and a pretty good
body - yoga works wonders for me. So, yes, I do expect a certain level
of attractiveness in a potential partner. Am I out of line? Expecting
too much? I am not expecting a 25 year old who works part time as a
model and spends the rest of her time as a stock broker or research
scientist. I am hoping for a women who is mature, capable, together and
is reasonably attractive. Age could be anywhere from 21 (tee hee) - ok - 35 (I
know that's still pretty young) to 65 (though I think this as unlikely as the
35 year old).
When I meet someone, I do hope
for sparks. And if not sparks, at least mutual interest. If there is
that, we can go forward and meet again. One woman I met twice and I just
couldn't see going any further. If there is effort
involved, the deal is usually no deal. She was pleasant and I would have been
happy being friends with her - but when it comes to friends, that
requires effort as well. Friendly is easy - acquaintance - not so hard -
friends - harder - good friends - harder still - best friend or
significant relationship - more time and more harderer. And friendship
is even more challenging when it is mostly a one sided affair. At all
levels.
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